Gah.. Why me?! Watch

Anonymous #1
#1
Report Thread starter 9 years ago
#1
I'll try and make this short... Im feeling really ****** at the moment

Story is.. me and my ex got together back in November 06, we were so happy & both of us had never felt like that and basically for the next 1 year & 8 months we were joined at the hip. It was great.
Then, we started.. I dunno.. getting a little lazy with eachother, not making the effort to go cinema etc. But we still talked and I assumed it was just a rough patch.. even though it wasnt rough, we werent arguing & were still sleeping together etc.

So then randomly he breaks up with me out of the blue. Saying he wanted to be single & that he didnt feel the same anymore. I was absolutely devastated, cried for weeks and weeks. Didnt see it coming at all. I couldnt understand why he spoke to me about other things that were stressing him out (family & money issues), yet he never said a word to me about how I felt, and instead just bottled it up until he couldnt do it anymore.
I tried so so hard to be mature about it and understand his reasons, even though he cut me off really suddenly e.g refused to speak to me within 2 days of the relationship ending & was really cold towards me. You would have thought Id actually done something majorly bad towards him.
Now, none of this would have been a big deal if we'd only been together a couple of months. But ****.. nearly 2 years!? and 2 really good years at that. I felt like I was being completely done over.

So 3/4 months went by, I had a really bad time trying to get over him. I still thought about him everyday and believe me I tried everyway possible of moving on and it didnt work! Well, saying that, I guess after a while I stopped crying and instead just felt sad all the time. But anyway it was a really crappy time...

Then.. Id left some dvds of mine at his that Id not had chance to collect due to being at uni etc. So I got in touch with him and we arranged a time where I could come pick them up. Now I know I wasnt over him, but I knew better then to expect anything considering it was the first time we'd seen eachother in months, and I decided to just be polite towards him.
I went to pick these dvds up, and unexpectedly it didnt feel awkward at all and we ended up having a massive catch up and it was really nice. After that we started chatting a little on msn.. which eventually led onto him telling me that he still had feelings for me.

At first I was like who does he think he is after how he treated me and it was basically a big f off from me. But he kept persisting, telling me he was a complete idiot for how he'd treated me and begged me to give him another chance. He actually promised he would never do that to me again and he would always talk to me about stuff like that in future.
Stupid me, I believed him and got back with him on the condition that we took things really slowly as I still wasnt 100% sure it was a good idea. He was fine with this and said he'd felt like the past few months a part of him was missing, and that it was me.

So, fast forward 10 weeks later, and he told me over the phone last night that he wasnt happy and wanted to break up. Apparently he wants to be single again. I cant even put into words how gutted I was/am. And suprise suprise, he's cut me off again... we broke up only 24 hours ago and he's refusing to even speak to me face to face. He doesnt want to because once again, he's said all he wants to say.
Oh and another thing similar to the first break up... it was once again completely out of the blue. He didnt bother talking to me about how he felt.
He promised that he'd never treat me like that again, and when I said that to him he said 'oo that was 3 months ago, its just not working'.

So now, Im sat here feeling so incredibly **** about myself, he's just refusing to talk to me. I know some people might think 'oh well she might be acting like a bunny boiler or whatever towards him', but Im really not. I tried calling him a couple of times & sent a couple of texts asking why he's treating me like this, and he's just ignoring me.

How can he do this to me again after he knew how hard the first break up was for me, and when he admitted himself that he acted like an idiot first time around?

I dont expect someone to magically come up with an answer for all of this... but any thoughts/opinions on this would be greatly appreciated. Cheers
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death.drop
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#2
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waaaay too long. summarise?
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LQT
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#3
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I read it all .. i deserve a trophy lol

Well, you let him back into your life again after the first time when he just up'ed and left without any explanation so you should of bee cautious!!

But .. were the DVD's that important??? You should of just let him keep them!! You could have had him post them or even re buy them ... the cost of re buying them.

You probably WANTED to see him and the DVD's were you perfect excuse.

Well whats done is done, just dont let him back into your life again, but you most likely will!! You didnt learn the first time and you took him back now he will think he can keep doing this and you will TAKE HIM BACK ....
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Vampyrcorn
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#4
Report 9 years ago
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He sounds like a right plonker. You're better off without, seriously. Just don't make the same mistake again by getting back with him.
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blondyx
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#5
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#5
sorry to hear that.
i have no idea why he did that, maybe he realised he still had feelings for you but then when he had you again he went back to thinking it would be best to be single.
dont take him back, i know it will be really hard but you dont want someone who doesnt feel the same way as you.
you can do better :-)
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kat2pult
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#6
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#6
He sounds like he doesn't really know what he wants, but knows that he'll get his way, regardless of that. Unfortunately for you, you were just a pawn in his crazy chess game, unsure of what all the other pieces were doing. It's time to pack the game away and get on with your life.
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hannahhi
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#7
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Read the whole story, and to be honest I think your best bet is cutting all ties with him. He's messed you around twice and don't let him even consider doing it again. Try and forget him and move on- it may not be easy but it'll be best all round. He's just using you by the sounds of it.

Move on, and good luck.
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Anonymous #1
#8
Report Thread starter 9 years ago
#8
(Original post by LQT)
I read it all .. i deserve a trophy lol

Well, you let him back into your life again after the first time when he just up'ed and left without any explanation so you should of bee cautious!!

But .. were the DVD's that important??? You should of just let him keep them!! You could have had him post them or even re buy them ... the cost of re buying them.

You probably WANTED to see him and the DVD's were you perfect excuse.

Well whats done is done, just dont let him back into your life again, but you most likely will!! You didnt learn the first time and you took him back now he will think he can keep doing this and you will TAKE HIM BACK ....
Er... I really didnt go there because I wanted to see him. Was quite the opposite. Id been asking his best mate who Im also friends with to get them off him so I could just pick them up without having to bump into my ex. But it never got sorted.
Plus when we did get round to arranging a time for me to get them, I said it didnt matter if he was in or not, he could just sort them out and Id pick them up whenever.
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Profesh
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#9
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You were his first girlfriend, I presume?
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Anonymous #1
#10
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(Original post by Profesh)
You were his first girlfriend, I presume?
Yep.
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michaela_banana
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#11
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He sounds really immature, and you sound a lot like you could do better. Ignore him (I bet he's loving the attention), and when he comes crawling back tell him to stuff it (and mean it).
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need_money
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#12
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I feel so bad for you! I would be messed up by the first break up never mind him doing it to me twice so with all things considered I think you are actually taking it quite well.

He definitely owes you some better explanation of his actions. Some men can be very selfish and don't think of how other people feel when they say and do things and it looks like this guy is just one of them. I know it will be hard but just forget about him and move on. I'd advise you to get all your belongings from him now and then delete his number. He obviously has no thought of how much he hurts you.
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epitaph for my heart
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#13
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#13
hum you really must force guys to talk about 'us' - I'm a guy and I force myself to. It is uncomfortable dragging up feelings, and the guy I'm with possibly thinks I'm a big fool for doing it, but it has to be done no matter how cringeworthy or depressing. That way you avoid shocks, true if things are not working it helps you realise that they are not working and that diminishes the high of a relationship. At the same time, with my fella, things - big things - are actually sort of getting resolved (I think) and it is a positive process for me.

about his conduct: it strikes me that there's no depth of feeling for you comparable to what you show to him. The coldness and the distance is probably then due to boredom - when you returned then you seemed fresh again and you interested him etc.
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