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Do you get underconfident when you don't have a bf/gf? watch

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    I haven't been with anyone, not even a kiss, since August, and it's really getting me down. I try not to define myself through my relationships but being single for so long makes me question myself and feel insecure. I wonder whether anyone experiences the same thing or has any tips for avoiding this?
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    I haven't been with anyone properly for about 2 years now, and I'm all good. Just keep yourself busy.
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    im so glad im not like this i was just mentioning this on another thread ........ i dont understand how people always feel a need to be with someone it's probably because i haven't been with many people and im just a really independant person idon'tknow
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    Quite the opposite,
    When I'm in a relationship i feel I've got to be something I'm not
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    OP im hearing you
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    (Original post by Brouhaha)
    I haven't been with anyone, not even a kiss, since August, and it's really getting me down. I try not to define myself through my relationships but being single for so long makes me question myself and feel insecure. I wonder whether anyone experiences the same thing or has any tips for avoiding this?
    you look like a yorkshire terrier. (no offense intended)
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    (Original post by Barry Chuckle)
    you look like a yorkshire terrier. (no offense intended)
    how is that!?!?!?!?!
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    Hmm, if this were true then I'd probably have had a nervous breakdown by now!
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    (Original post by Brouhaha)
    I haven't been with anyone, not even a kiss, since August, and it's really getting me down. I try not to define myself through my relationships but being single for so long makes me question myself and feel insecure. I wonder whether anyone experiences the same thing or has any tips for avoiding this?
    no way have you been single that long, ur really good lookin
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    I don't really feel the same way. Right now, I have no much going on in my life, and I feel so passionate about something else, that I don't crave a relationship.
    It's possible to enjoy being single. I enjoy being able to meet people and not have to think about the potential for a relationship in every person I meet. At the moment you'll probably be looking for a relationship at every turn. You're not allowing yourself to take any pleasure from being single at all. You're defining yourself in opposition to what you are not. You feel as if you have to be in a relationship in order to be happy.
    There is much happiness to be had in a relationship. Knowing that you have a source of comfort, passion and love that no one else gets to share is a wonderfully secure feeling. But that feeling is quite a luxury. You don't get them very often.
    Just look forward to the next one. It'll happen but you're putting yourself under such pressure to find one and the search is becoming more important to you than life at present.
    This isn't my best advice. Basically, know that you're attractive, know that it can happen for you, and know that it doesn't need to happen right away. Some things are just worth waiting for, but depreciate in value if you feel that you have to go looking for it.
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    (Original post by Barry Chuckle)
    you look like a yorkshire terrier. (no offense intended)

    tasteful, really.

    OP, there isn't a red-blooded man alive who wouldn't kiss you. Don't be deterred.
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    (Original post by Barry Chuckle)
    you look like a yorkshire terrier. (no offense intended)
    My best friend thinks I look like a King Charles Spaniel with my hair, but please, be kind! :P
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    (Original post by Torchskins)
    no way have you been single that long, ur really good lookin
    Man shes gorgeous
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    (Original post by giella)
    I don't really feel the same way. Right now, I have no much going on in my life, and I feel so passionate about something else, that I don't crave a relationship.
    It's possible to enjoy being single. I enjoy being able to meet people and not have to think about the potential for a relationship in every person I meet. At the moment you'll probably be looking for a relationship at every turn. You're not allowing yourself to take any pleasure from being single at all. You're defining yourself in opposition to what you are not. You feel as if you have to be in a relationship in order to be happy.
    There is much happiness to be had in a relationship. Knowing that you have a source of comfort, passion and love that no one else gets to share is a wonderfully secure feeling. But that feeling is quite a luxury. You don't get them very often.
    Just look forward to the next one. It'll happen but you're putting yourself under such pressure to find one and the search is becoming more important to you than life at present.
    This isn't my best advice. Basically, know that you're attractive, know that it can happen for you, and know that it doesn't need to happen right away. Some things are just worth waiting for, but depreciate in value if you feel that you have to go looking for it.
    You are so wise.
    I already repped someone today, but thanks, I know you're right! I just wish I was like you! But I will make the effort to be.
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    (Original post by jackmileshunt)
    Man shes gorgeous
    Haha I wasn't fishing for compliments by making this thread. And we all put our best pics up on TSR, I'm very regular.
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    (Original post by Brouhaha)
    Haha I wasn't fishing for compliments by making this thread. And we all put our best pics up on TSR, I'm very regular.
    Ohh no, i wasn't implying that you was, i just thought i would say, and i know exactly what your feeling, trust me on that one.

    Also, that is the reason i do not have an actual pic of myself lol
    x
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    (Original post by jackmileshunt)
    Ohh no, i wasn't implying that you was, i just thought i would say, and i know exactly what your feeling, trust me on that one.

    Also, that is the reason i do not have an actual pic of myself lol
    x
    Aww well thanks then.
    I guess though, the main thing I start to question, is my personality. Which is odd because I'm very kind and also funny, but I dunno, I start to think that certain things about me turn guys off. Being too talkative, too clumsy, I dunno! I question way too much about myself. Can see a few people feel similarly though from this thread Wish I didn't though, it's a dumb way to feel.
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    I don't think it's made me 'underconfident' because I still know exactly who I am and what I want (and deserve) but, I do think it's made me feel less desirable as a woman. I've been single for what is now, the sixth year, so it does take it's toll.

    Hang in there - if I can manage 6 years of no kisses, no hugs, no 'he fancies you' none of that... then you can manage too. It's only been a few months for you so maybe you'll find it easier getting back into the swing of things?
    I reckon it's gonna be a lot more difficult for me after 6 years - I wouldn't know what to do with a man if I had one. I wouldn't know where to start tbh.
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    Since my ex broke up with me, untill literally a few days ago when I think I may have met someone else, I have to agree...i'm not even sure why / how this is helpful..but I think when you just kind of settle into being alone, you find you won't be or something like that.
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    (Original post by Brouhaha)
    Aww well thanks then.
    I guess though, the main thing I start to question, is my personality. Which is odd because I'm very kind and also funny, but I dunno, I start to think that certain things about me turn guys off. Being too talkative, too clumsy, I dunno! I question way too much about myself. Can see a few people feel similarly though from this thread Wish I didn't though, it's a dumb way to feel.
    Yeah but being kind, talkative, and clumsy are just personality traits, and not necessarily bad ones, you will meet somebody who appreciates it. Obviously i dont know you so i cant really advise beyond saying just bear with it and dont worry.
 
 
 
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