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going out with someone and fancying someone else
is this commonplace in relationships?
my bf told me he had a crush on my best friend, (well i got it out of him, he didn't tell me of his own free will) then was like u can't expect me to turn off my feelings, i'm gonna have crushes on other girls, but i like u the best...
is that what other ppl think too? i know some ppl are gonna like their gf/bf exculsively, but are theyre other ppl who fancy other ppl?
i'm not saying i don't appreciate other ppl being good looking but i don't fancy ne1 else..
xxxx
my bf told me he had a crush on my best friend, (well i got it out of him, he didn't tell me of his own free will) then was like u can't expect me to turn off my feelings, i'm gonna have crushes on other girls, but i like u the best...
is that what other ppl think too? i know some ppl are gonna like their gf/bf exculsively, but are theyre other ppl who fancy other ppl?
i'm not saying i don't appreciate other ppl being good looking but i don't fancy ne1 else..
xxxx
mmmfood
is this commonplace in relationships?
my bf told me he had a crush on my best friend, (well i got it out of him, he didn't tell me of his own free will) then was like u can't expect me to turn off my feelings, i'm gonna have crushes on other girls, but i like u the best...
is that what other ppl think too? i know some ppl are gonna like their gf/bf exculsively, but are theyre other ppl who fancy other ppl?
i'm not saying i don't appreciate other ppl being good looking but i don't fancy ne1 else..
xxxx
my bf told me he had a crush on my best friend, (well i got it out of him, he didn't tell me of his own free will) then was like u can't expect me to turn off my feelings, i'm gonna have crushes on other girls, but i like u the best...
is that what other ppl think too? i know some ppl are gonna like their gf/bf exculsively, but are theyre other ppl who fancy other ppl?
i'm not saying i don't appreciate other ppl being good looking but i don't fancy ne1 else..
xxxx
Maybe he's just trying to say that if you decide to have a threesome, you should pick her...
Its a tricky one: He's right in that its pretty hard to "turn off" your feeling if you like someone...it just happens to you and sometimes you cant help feeling that way. It's not really our feeling that we have controll over.
What we DO have controll over is how we act upon them: does he flirt with her? Does he make you feel loved and like you are the one he likes better? Does he spend enough time with you/treat you ok generally?
I'd love to say that if you are in a good, supportive, loving relationship one of you having a crush on someone else isnt a problem but of COURSE it's going to hurt finding the one you like likes someone else as well - it feels like a betrayal. Im a reasonably jealous person, so I sympathise, but what I would do is accept he cant help fancying her, and talk between you about what is acceptable behaviour. Maybe you dont want him to hug her, or to say flirty things to her?
I've also come from the other side of things and been in a relationship where I not only had a crush on someone else but was in love with them. Believe me, if he's a decent human being he wont be feeling smart, clever, egotistical or thinking of trying to get the two of you in a threesome, he'll be feeling guilty, annoyed with himself, and worried about hurting you.
Strike a balance between resonable concern and paranoia about this and Im sure he'll understand.
What we DO have controll over is how we act upon them: does he flirt with her? Does he make you feel loved and like you are the one he likes better? Does he spend enough time with you/treat you ok generally?
I'd love to say that if you are in a good, supportive, loving relationship one of you having a crush on someone else isnt a problem but of COURSE it's going to hurt finding the one you like likes someone else as well - it feels like a betrayal. Im a reasonably jealous person, so I sympathise, but what I would do is accept he cant help fancying her, and talk between you about what is acceptable behaviour. Maybe you dont want him to hug her, or to say flirty things to her?
I've also come from the other side of things and been in a relationship where I not only had a crush on someone else but was in love with them. Believe me, if he's a decent human being he wont be feeling smart, clever, egotistical or thinking of trying to get the two of you in a threesome, he'll be feeling guilty, annoyed with himself, and worried about hurting you.
Strike a balance between resonable concern and paranoia about this and Im sure he'll understand.
Let him get it out his system, get in his good books!!!
mmmfood
is this commonplace in relationships?
my bf told me he had a crush on my best friend, (well i got it out of him, he didn't tell me of his own free will) then was like u can't expect me to turn off my feelings, i'm gonna have crushes on other girls, but i like u the best...
is that what other ppl think too? i know some ppl are gonna like their gf/bf exculsively, but are theyre other ppl who fancy other ppl?
i'm not saying i don't appreciate other ppl being good looking but i don't fancy ne1 else..
xxxx
my bf told me he had a crush on my best friend, (well i got it out of him, he didn't tell me of his own free will) then was like u can't expect me to turn off my feelings, i'm gonna have crushes on other girls, but i like u the best...
is that what other ppl think too? i know some ppl are gonna like their gf/bf exculsively, but are theyre other ppl who fancy other ppl?
i'm not saying i don't appreciate other ppl being good looking but i don't fancy ne1 else..
xxxx
I've thought someone else was attractive when in a relationship, but never actually fancied them...maybe thats what he means?
bloody hell!! dump him!! seems he's just with u cos of her!!!!!
and u say u got him out of it?? you cant turn it off just like that.
no when i went out with my ex, i truly didnt even look at anyone and think they were attractive. i didnt even think of being with anyone else. i know he did, but he didnt act on it until he cheated on me.we were together for 5 yrs.
and u say u got him out of it?? you cant turn it off just like that.
no when i went out with my ex, i truly didnt even look at anyone and think they were attractive. i didnt even think of being with anyone else. i know he did, but he didnt act on it until he cheated on me.we were together for 5 yrs.
Lucas
mm nobody can help being attracted to another person...it's human nature
the only problems occur if yea they start taking 'active' interest into that person...then worry and begin to deal with it..or just prevent that from happening by talking to him first~
the only problems occur if yea they start taking 'active' interest into that person...then worry and begin to deal with it..or just prevent that from happening by talking to him first~
yea but not ur gf's best mate!!!
fair enough, i think shah rukh khan and chow yun fat are two of the hottest men alive. but that doesnt interfere with my relatioship.however if my bf was best mates with either of these ppl, i'd no way even think if they were attractive or not.
mmmfood
is this commonplace in relationships?
my bf told me he had a crush on my best friend, (well i got it out of him, he didn't tell me of his own free will) then was like u can't expect me to turn off my feelings, i'm gonna have crushes on other girls, but i like u the best...
is that what other ppl think too? i know some ppl are gonna like their gf/bf exculsively, but are theyre other ppl who fancy other ppl?
i'm not saying i don't appreciate other ppl being good looking but i don't fancy ne1 else..
xxxx
my bf told me he had a crush on my best friend, (well i got it out of him, he didn't tell me of his own free will) then was like u can't expect me to turn off my feelings, i'm gonna have crushes on other girls, but i like u the best...
is that what other ppl think too? i know some ppl are gonna like their gf/bf exculsively, but are theyre other ppl who fancy other ppl?
i'm not saying i don't appreciate other ppl being good looking but i don't fancy ne1 else..
xxxx
OMG MEN LOOK AT OTHER WOMEN?!?!?! what...omg ...
pssshhhaaa...I got an idea,carry around a baseball bat so that everytime he even LOOKS at another woman you can bash him with it....
SamTheMan
Maybe he's just trying to say that if you decide to have a threesome, you should pick her...
OMG ROFLMFAO.....
Well anyway, I say think nothing of it. People can't switch off their emotions it's true, it's if they act on them you need to bring out the ass spanker... I mean, consider dumping him.
oh and if you did have a threesome, he would quite possibly love you forever.
Well only you know his personality...
But I would say that you shouldn't think this is that unusual. There are plenty of other women that my boy fancies (including my best friend!) and to him that's just a physical reaction that he would never act on without a go-ahead from me. But I appreciate that our relationship is perhaps not the most conventional as we've always had an understanding that sex with other people is just a release of physical tension but what we have goes beyond that. *shrugs* every relationship is different and you've got to decide for yourself what you are and are not prepared to live with.
But I would say that you shouldn't think this is that unusual. There are plenty of other women that my boy fancies (including my best friend!) and to him that's just a physical reaction that he would never act on without a go-ahead from me. But I appreciate that our relationship is perhaps not the most conventional as we've always had an understanding that sex with other people is just a release of physical tension but what we have goes beyond that. *shrugs* every relationship is different and you've got to decide for yourself what you are and are not prepared to live with.
naelse
Well only you know his personality...
But I would say that you shouldn't think this is that unusual. There are plenty of other women that my boy fancies (including my best friend!) and to him that's just a physical reaction that he would never act on without a go-ahead from me. But I appreciate that our relationship is perhaps not the most conventional as we've always had an understanding that sex with other people is just a release of physical tension but what we have goes beyond that. *shrugs* every relationship is different and you've got to decide for yourself what you are and are not prepared to live with.
But I would say that you shouldn't think this is that unusual. There are plenty of other women that my boy fancies (including my best friend!) and to him that's just a physical reaction that he would never act on without a go-ahead from me. But I appreciate that our relationship is perhaps not the most conventional as we've always had an understanding that sex with other people is just a release of physical tension but what we have goes beyond that. *shrugs* every relationship is different and you've got to decide for yourself what you are and are not prepared to live with.
you and your boyfriend have sex with other people????xxx
technically, yes. practically, no.
the deal from the beginning was that we could if we wanted as long we talked to each other about it. So far neither of us have- we both fancy other people but we've found that sex with someone you love is so much better so there's just no point in settling for less
the deal from the beginning was that we could if we wanted as long we talked to each other about it. So far neither of us have- we both fancy other people but we've found that sex with someone you love is so much better so there's just no point in settling for less
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