I'm trying my hardest to be "mature" and "reasonable" over everything, but its beginning to really drive me crazy... apparently he's not even gonna text me when hes with her now.... I mean i text him about an hour ago and he still hasn't replied. I know he's with her and one of their other mates tonight working on a lot of computer stuff. My boyfriend is constantly on "make money fast" schemes at the moment and this other mate their with is providing the money for websites and stuff that my boyfriend is building and loads of other stuff that I don't quite understand... But yea, they're all at this other guys house tonight trying to get ideas for some new business.... anyway, the point is I know he's busy yet he can't even find the time to reply to a single text message. I know theres other reasons like he might have left his phone at home, or he didn't hear it, or they're working hard, but theres also the possibility that hes not gonna text me coz he's with her....
Sorry, I've had a really ***** day today, and all this stuff isn't helping. Theres all those other reasons why he might not of text me back. Maybe I am being pathetic and unreasonable. But then when I think about things like how it's somehow me being stupid I tend to beat myself up over it a lot. Have all these crazy thoughts going through my head. I always manage to twist everything so the blame falls on me. I can't help it. After everything else thats happened to me today I want to curl up into a tiny ball getting smaller and smaller until i disappear completely. I want to cry. It makes me feel so pathetic and juvenile that I can cry over nothing. And then when something small happens, something stupid like he hasn't text me back yet, makes me feel so low and depressed.... I just feel so STUPID!!!