Would it annoy you, your friend telling her boyfriend your secrets?

Please keep anon or delete.

Basically, my friend has told her boyfriend that I'm a virgin. My friend knows I don't want people to know this because at 19, I'm quite embarrassed about it. I don't like the fact she's told him :mad:

I'm going to text her later and ask why she's told him (I know she has because he told another friend last night).

Do I have a right to be annoyed? It makes me wonder what else she's told him.

Reply 1

4x4

10

Not if the boyfriend can be trusted as much as my friend. However in a case like this it would.

Reply 2

indifferencepersonified

8

I'm very familir with this situation, however I am the boyfriend in the situation and I get told a lot of secrets that to be quite honest I didn't want to hear or care about in the slightest. Yes you have a right to be annoyed, which is why I don't tell my girlfriend any secrets, we're probably breaking up anyway. Back to the point, I suggest you confront your friend about it to find out why she told him, note: Because he's my boyfriend is not a reason!

In future I suggest that you keep things like that from your friend, she doesn't seem very competent at keeping secrets!

Reply 3

BananasNmangoes

Anonymous

Please keep anon or delete.

Basically, my friend has told her boyfriend that I'm a virgin. My friend knows I don't want people to know this because at 19, I'm quite embarrassed about it. I don't like the fact she's told him :mad:

I'm going to text her later and ask why she's told him (I know she has because he told another friend last night).

Do I have a right to be annoyed? It makes me wonder what else she's told him.

YES

I have a friend that did that...and the WORST part is that when they break up your secrets are floating around god knows where!!

But on another note, I deeply encourage you not to be embarrassed about being a virgin at 19. It's something you should be proud of and i can assure you in the future, when you look back you will be glad you werent one of the people who just did it willy nilly (ahem, excuse the pun) Im 18 and was the same...and I can PROMISE you it's better to be a virgin and have sex with who you want to when you are ready....

Reply 4

strangej

I think it is mostly to be expected that partners tell each other stuff like that, but since he went and told someone else you have more than the right to be pissed at her (and him) since it's her fault that people now know. In some sense he is her responsibility, and so she should get the blame.

Reply 5

SpecialKate

10

That would annoy me, not particularly about people knowing I'm a virgin but I know what you mean.
Every one of my friends has a boyfriend, and whenever I need to talk they always say "You can talk to me" but they also say at every oppurtunity that they tell their boyfriends everything and couldn't keep anything from them. The fact that they trust their boyfriends not to tell anyone doesn't necessarilly mean I want them being aware of my problems.

*le sigh* Being alone does suck sometimes...

Reply 6

Stratos

15

Anonymous

Please keep anon or delete.

Basically, my friend has told her boyfriend that I'm a virgin. My friend knows I don't want people to know this because at 19, I'm quite embarrassed about it. I don't like the fact she's told him :mad:

I'm going to text her later and ask why she's told him (I know she has because he told another friend last night).

Do I have a right to be annoyed? It makes me wonder what else she's told him.

the fact that she can't keep secrets makes it righteous for you to be annyoed, but being virgin generally isn't shamefull.

Reply 7

Anonymous #1

OP

What am I meant to text her? :confused:

I don't want to sound like a bitch, but I want her to know I don't want people knowing my business!

Reply 8

petticoatlove

Yeah you have a right to be annoyed.Speak to her about it.

Reply 9

SnowAngel

2

Hell yes.
I'd be well pissed

Reply 10

RightSaidJames

16

Did you actually say that it was a secret? Being a 19 year old virgin isn't that strange, I was a virgin until I was 19 and my girlfriend still is.

Anyway, why does it matter if her boyfriend knows? He's not going to go out with you, and if he's got any amount of sense he won't judge you, because, like I said, it doesn't matter.

I think you need to grow up and realise that people in relationships tell each other stuff and that being a virgin isn't a big deal.

Edit - just noticed he told someone else. That's out of order, so ask your friend to talk to her boyfriend about that, and suggest that she doesn't tell him stuff about you in future. Job Done.

Reply 11

username225218

8

I wouldn't be so annoyed if she'd just told him and he'd kept his mouth shut but if I then found out he'd told someone else, as in your post, then yes I'd be annoyed.

Reply 12

MathsGirl

12

Yes i get really annoyed and fall out with my BFF for like 3 days (thats a long time with BFF's :s-smilie:

) when she tells her BF my sectrets. It Doesnt help that i ahet her BF

Reply 13

Anonymous #1

OP

Any suggestions on what I can say to her? Her boyfriend is an idiot as well, he was telling my other friend what a "good shag" he got the other night. I really don't want him knowing this info arghh.

Reply 14

Chrisofsmeg

8

Yeah, you have a legitimate right to be pissed. She betrayed your trust, which generally mean she isn't a fantastic friend. The fact that he told people himself makes him a bit of a **** too.

This is why I don't tell anyone my secrets.

Reply 15

J_rocks

Yes it would annoy me if I told her something in confidence and then she told her boyfriend. I would just tell her that I expect her not to tell other people my secrets if I had asked her not to, its something I wanted her to know, not her boyfriend and then however else he decided to tell. I would probably think twice about telling her important things in the future just incase she did it again.

Reply 16

Teigan

Hell yes I would be annoyed. Especially as he also apparently can't be trusted as he's told one of his friends! When you text her, ask her if she knows why he felt the need to tell one of his friends.

Reply 17

kai4321

RightSaidJames

Did you actually say that it was a secret? Being a 19 year old virgin isn't that strange, I was a virgin until I was 19 and my girlfriend still is.

Anyway, why does it matter if her boyfriend knows? He's not going to go out with you, and if he's got any amount of sense he won't judge you, because, like I said, it doesn't matter.

I think you need to grow up and realise that people in relationships tell each other stuff and that being a virgin isn't a big deal.

Edit - just noticed he told someone else. That's out of order, so ask your friend to talk to her boyfriend about that, and suggest that she doesn't tell him stuff about you in future. Job Done.

This. I think it's pretty normal for people in a relationship to tell each other things like that.

However, clearly the problem is that the boyfriend can't be trusted to keep the secrets and that is obviously not a good thing. I would talk to your friend and just tell her that you don't want her boyfriend knowing these things. If you continue to tell her secrets and her boyfriend keeps telling others about them then the only thing you can do is to stop telling your friend all together.

Reply 18

Nadinus

1

If your friend honestly thought that she could trust her boyfriend not to tell anyone else, then I don't see a problem. The fact that he DID tell someone else is. Although that's assuming that they have a close enough relationship in the first place for her to make those kind of judgements - also depends whether she told him for the sake of it, or if it was incidental to a conversation.

Reply 19

The Referee

11

Anonymous

Any suggestions on what I can say to her? Her boyfriend is an idiot as well, he was telling my other friend what a "good shag" he got the other night. I really don't want him knowing this info arghh.

Send a message to your friend saying

"Did you tell your BF that I'm a Virgin?"

If she denies it ask her how other people know when you sure as heck didn't tell them.

Above all, let her know that you're p****d that others now know and she's let you down.

Would it annoy you, your friend telling her boyfriend your secrets?

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