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Friendship after Relationship?
Do you believe in friendship after a two people have broken up?
Some of my friends really don't, and they don't want to keep in touch or talk to their ex's after a break-up. I'm a rather idealistic person, and I cherish everyone in my life very much, so I'm the kind of person who would try to have a friendship again with the guy even after a break-up. But he doesn't want to keep a friendship, i'll leave him alone and wish him happiness.
Some of my friends really don't, and they don't want to keep in touch or talk to their ex's after a break-up. I'm a rather idealistic person, and I cherish everyone in my life very much, so I'm the kind of person who would try to have a friendship again with the guy even after a break-up. But he doesn't want to keep a friendship, i'll leave him alone and wish him happiness.
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I would tend to agree with you. Especially if the relationship had lasted for a long time. I dont see how you can just completely want to block out someone who has shared a large chunk of your life with you. Also, the fact that you have ebeen with them for a long time probably (hopefully) means that you are quite good friends alread and would be able to turn to them with (most of) your troubles.
I broke up with my girlfriend of almost 4 years just over a year ago. We still keep in touch, go for a drink etc. and still get on with each other. Its not the same as before but its a more intimate/comfortable relationship than with any of my other firends. I can't say anything on her behalf but I know that I would be there for her if she needed me.
I broke up with my girlfriend of almost 4 years just over a year ago. We still keep in touch, go for a drink etc. and still get on with each other. Its not the same as before but its a more intimate/comfortable relationship than with any of my other firends. I can't say anything on her behalf but I know that I would be there for her if she needed me.
I guess it also really depends how you broke up.
MB
MB
Yeh I think you can stay friends with your ex - I'm friends with mine atm. I know I'd be heartbroken if I weren't friends with my ex. Just realised yesterday he still means so much to me - although those are old feelings now, but still feel them now and again.
It does depend on why you broke up though. If they cheated on you then maybe it'll take a longer time to forgive etc etc and maybe you won't wanna be friends with him/her.
It does depend on why you broke up though. If they cheated on you then maybe it'll take a longer time to forgive etc etc and maybe you won't wanna be friends with him/her.
I'd love to stay friends with most of mine, but sometimes it isn't always possible.
I believe that the longer the relationship, the harder it is to stay friends. If it isn't a very serious relationship then it's normally fine to just be friends aftwards. But if it was a serious relationship, the break up was probably a hard one, so it's not so easy to just be friends
I believe that the longer the relationship, the harder it is to stay friends. If it isn't a very serious relationship then it's normally fine to just be friends aftwards. But if it was a serious relationship, the break up was probably a hard one, so it's not so easy to just be friends
bestdeceptions
I'd love to stay friends with most of mine, but sometimes it isn't always possible.
I believe that the longer the relationship, the harder it is to stay friends. If it isn't a very serious relationship then it's normally fine to just be friends aftwards. But if it was a serious relationship, the break up was probably a hard one, so it's not so easy to just be friends
I believe that the longer the relationship, the harder it is to stay friends. If it isn't a very serious relationship then it's normally fine to just be friends aftwards. But if it was a serious relationship, the break up was probably a hard one, so it's not so easy to just be friends
Very true. I broke up with my girlfriend of a year and a half two months ago. She wants to stay friends, and is happy to. I would like it if we could, but it's just not that easy.
It's really hard to explain why it's difficult. Occasionally I just don't want to talk to her, or really don't have anything to say to her. I'd rather just be happy and stay good friends, but I can't help the way I feel sometimes.
I'm wondering if it makes a difference who ended it. If you're the one that wanted to break up, it might be easier to be friends, because that's all you want. But if you didn't want to break up, you wanted more than just a friendship, so might find it difficult.
Staying friends after splitting up with someone is, as with communism, a better idea in theory than it is in practice.
englishstudent
communism, a better idea in theory than it is in practice.
Excuse me, what kind of bullsh*t is this? If there is something wrong with the practice then in implies that there's something wrong with the theory. Maybe you should either extrapolate on your simile or just say stuff which makes sense.
MB
bestdeceptions
I believe that the longer the relationship, the harder it is to stay friends. If it isn't a very serious relationship then it's normally fine to just be friends aftwards. But if it was a serious relationship, the break up was probably a hard one, so it's not so easy to just be friends
I seem to have the opposite of this; the only ex ive stayed mates with was my longest relationship (excluding the one im in now) and we are still really good friends
but i agree with Zurich, i think it depends on how you ended. the relationship ended because we both thought it was for the best, so no horrid fights and saying things we didnt mean to ruin it. if that makes sense 
musicboy
Excuse me, what kind of bullsh*t is this? If there is something wrong with the practice then in implies that there's something wrong with the theory. Maybe you should either extrapolate on your simile or just say stuff which makes sense.
MB
MB
Forgot we had an ardent commie in our ranks, ever so sorry.
englishstudent
Forgot we had an ardent commie in our ranks, ever so sorry.
I am not asking you to be sorry. I am not asking for your consideration towards me. I am demanding that you reassess what you say and if you believe it actually has any value I would be interested to know what the hell you were on about because TBH it made absolutely no sense to me.
MB
musicboy
I am not asking you to be sorry. I am not asking for your consideration towards me. I am demanding that you reassess what you say and if you believe it actually has any value I would be interested to know what the hell you were on about because TBH it made absolutely no sense to me.
MB
MB
Communism - nice in theory but over and over again has led to problems.
Staying friends after a relationship breaks up - nice in theory but often not very practical or indeed possible (ie. can lead to problems).
It was an analogy.
You're a bit miserable, Jacob.
Edit: What say we stop hijacking the thread, it wasn't my intention. PM me if you want to discuss further!
englishstudent
Communism - nice in theory but over and over again has led to problems.
and you'll probably wheel out examples in which marxist-leninism has been implemented in a pre-industrial society and if you bothered to read the theory behind it then you'd realise that the examples you'd give would not be representative.
englishstudent
Staying friends after a relationship breaks up - nice in theory but often not very practical or indeed possible (ie. can lead to problems).
agreed
englishstudent
It was an analogy.
Yes, a false one
englishstudent
You're a bit miserable, Jacob.
no, just cynical as ever
englishstudent
Edit: What say we stop hijacking the thread, it wasn't my intention. PM me if you want to discuss further!
Whoops!
MB
musicboy
Whoops!
Whoops!
Hehe.
bestdeceptions
I'd love to stay friends with most of mine, but sometimes it isn't always possible.
So there's been many have there?
I reckon it just depends on the practicality of it i.e. how far you live and if you have any other reasons to see each other regularly e.g. go to the same uni. Plus individuals will be different.
Well I don't know...it's not as easy as you may think. I mean i had a relationship with sb for a few years and we broke up one year ago (on Feb 04).. We live in different cities so i don't see him so we talked on the phone or chatting on the net.. Now i am with someone and Mike (my ex) after one year he decided I am the one he wants to be with etc etc...and wants me back... I don't feel the same way cause I am in love with the new one but you know what? (and this is my point) Mike affects my current relationship because whatever i do i think 'what if...' and again he is stuck on my mind... So believe me it is not healthy... One part or the other will always be interested... unless it is a one month/two month relationship that didn't really mean much...
I'm friends with quite a few of my ex's but it depends on how it finished really, and it's usually uncomfortable for a short while afterwards, but that usually goes. They can't not be friends with me I guess 
musicboy
I guess it also really depends how you broke up.
MB
MB
That's very true. I was with my girlfriend for a month short of two years before we broke up.. Anyway, lies were told and she appeared with a new boyfriend 6 days after we split up..
Needless to say I haven't felt the urge to contact her since January when we split up. Yep it's been hard, but now i'm all the better for it
what_apples
I would tend to agree with you. Especially if the relationship had lasted for a long time. I dont see how you can just completely want to block out someone who has shared a large chunk of your life with you. Also, the fact that you have ebeen with them for a long time probably (hopefully) means that you are quite good friends alread and would be able to turn to them with (most of) your troubles.
I agree.
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