More than One Love

I am a firm believer in love

I can't really confirm whether it's possible or not, because I've never felt that way; and I'm not going to discredit something I haven't felt - otherwise I might have to chew my words a few years down the line!

I am a firm believer in love, but I do happen to think that being "in love" and loving someone are different things. Sure, they're similar, but I think there's a line that can be drawn between them [albeit a faint one].

Now obviously I can't speak for those who feel they have a dilemma wherein they think they're "in love" with two different people. I'd be inclined, however, to think that they simply loved one, and were in love with another, or they're not "in love" with either of them.

But! I'll have to get back to you on that, because it's something I've never had the misfortune of being torn apart over :\

You probably can like two people at the same time but that's really just asking for trouble. Not sure if you can love two people at the same time though - if it's love for a dead spouse and newly married with someone else, then yeh that's possible - but that's not the case here!

Your friend should make a decision - who does she want? Then stop flirting with that other guy or else break up with her current boyfriend, depending on whom she chooses. She's putting herself in a bad position - one she really shouldn't be in tbh - and since she knows she likes this other guy, she should keep her distance and hang round with him less unless her boyfriend's around. Cus she carries on that way - one or both of the guys, most likely including herself, will get hurt. And you can't love someone very much if you don't care about hurting him/her. She can't have both guys - she's gotta make a choice.

She doesn't sound very faithful.

You probably can like two people at the same time but that's really just asking for trouble. Not sure if you can love two people at the same time though - if it's love for a dead spouse and newly married with someone else, then yeh that's possible - but that's not the case here!

Your friend should make a decision - who does she want? Then stop flirting with that other guy or else break up with her current boyfriend, depending on whom she chooses. She's putting herself in a bad position - one she really shouldn't be in tbh - and since she knows she likes this other guy, she should keep her distance and hang round with him less unless her boyfriend's around. Cus she carries on that way - one or both of the guys, most likely including herself, will get hurt. And you can't love someone very much if you don't care about hurting him/her. She can't have both guys - she's gotta make a choice.

She doesn't sound very faithful.

People are probably going to disagree with me here, and I feel like a horrible person for saying so, but yes you can love two people. I've done it.

I was in a situation where I was in love with someone I was with, and in love with a friend. I didnt engineer it. I didnt want it to happen. I felt guilty day and night. All the old cliches are true about infidelity - I cried all the time, I could eat, couldnt sleep. And I wasnt being physically unfaithful, just secretly, emotionally.
Now the thing is, I never cheated on the guy I was with. I never gave into temptation. I got miserable and heartbroken but no one else who was involved did. Neither of the guys got hurt. I made sure of that.
If I hadnt loved them both, it would have been an easy choice between them. If I had only loved one of them it wouldnt have torn me apart from a year. If I hadnt loved both of them I wouldnt have tried to save them both from harm, knowing that whatever happened I could not be happy, could not leave without a broken heart because no matter what I could not have them both so I must live without one man I loved.
It isnt nice. It isnt pretty. I didnt chooose for it to happen. It didnt make me feel big or clever. I'd hate it if a boyfriend of mine loved another girl.
I couldnt help that I fell in love - all I could do was change my reaction to it and make sure I took all the hurt. And I did. And I maintain I did what seemed right at the time, even though in retrospect, there are so many regrets, not least letting the love of my life slip through my fingers.
Im not saying everyone can love two people, or even that its a common phenonemnon, but I've done it, I was there. it exists, though I wouldnt have believed it til it happened to me. Thats the funny thing, afterwards...no one believe I could have loved both of them...they always says either I must have stayed with the partner for loyalty or I must have only had a crush on the new guy. But it wasnt like that. The reason I stayed with my partner was the loyalty I owed him, yes, because when it came to the ammount of LOVE I had for each of them, the scaledsbalanaced, and would not tip either way, so loyalty was the deciding factor.
Hope this helps.