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    Hey TSR people,

    Abit of a downer thread I guess my dad died when I was young.
    I miss him an awful lot and get so mad when people moan about their dads, Sometimes I just wish I could be with him but for now Im just trying to do him proud =].

    Has anyone else lost a parent or someone very close to them. How did you deal with it, did you seek counselling?.
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    it's not an easy thing to deal with, i lost my bf, we were together a year and 2 months
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    Loss of a love one is never a easy thing, we all deal with different things in different ways. If you feel you would like to talk to someone about everything then a counsellor could be perfect as i found it very helpful for a different problem i had, really allowed me to express me feelings and get things off my chest, the environment around a counsellor was something i liked aswell, it was a safe one for quite raw emotions. Just remember you dont have to be expected to deal with this in any such ways, its your feelings and you will deal with it different, if you are struggling in places i would whole heartedly recomend speaking to someone. :hugs:
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    (Original post by Julie_R)
    it's not an easy thing to deal with, i lost my bf, we were together a year and 2 months
    Aww sorry to hear that,

    Yeah death's such a horrible thing. Hes all I had, people say god exists but why would a god take a little girls dad away from her. But then I guess there are people much wose off then me.
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    (Original post by tom_tom_tom)
    Loss of a love one is never a easy thing, we all deal with different things in different ways. If you feel you would like to talk to someone about everything then a counsellor could be perfect as i found it very helpful for a different problem i had, really allowed me to express me feelings and get things off my chest, the environment around a counsellor was something i liked aswell, it was a safe one for quite raw emotions. Just remember you dont have to be expected to deal with this in any such ways, its your feelings and you will deal with it different, if you are struggling in places i would whole heartedly recomend speaking to someone. :hugs:
    Hey thanks for taking the time to comment on my thread , yeah Ive never got help for anything and have never really spoke to anyone about how I feel, yet ironically here I am discussing it over an internet forum LOL, I feel I can talk to strangers better then people I know, I dont like to make people I know feel awkward about it.
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    I'm so sorry for your loss...
    I don't know what I can say...but there's a girl in my year who lost her father suddenly a couple of years back and she very recently lost her long term boyfriend in an accident...and she's the loveliest person.
    Personally I can't believe in God because of these sorts of things, but I suppose you just have to try and find strength from whatever sources you can. I do however believe in a kind of life after death and a closeness of loved ones after they have passed over.
    You could try writing down your feelings, talking to your family or friends, or you can seek counseling. I'm sure you've tried some of these though.
    I think you're doing really well and being strong, doing your best for him, making him proud best wishes.
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    (Original post by Pan's-Labyrinth)
    Hey thanks for taking the time to comment on my thread , yeah Ive never got help for anything and have never really spoke to anyone about how I feel, yet ironically here I am discussing it over an internet forum LOL, I feel I can talk to strangers better then people I know, I dont like to make people I know feel awkward about it.
    In some respects this was very similar to myself, i didnt feel like i could speak to anyone, as in some ways people often find certain topics hard to deal with if they havent been through a similar thing themselves.

    Anyway i digress, the whole idea of a counsellor could be appealing to you, as they dont have expectations, they know how to deal with things, and above most, they dont know you and they cant tell anyone that you do know etc. Even if you were just to talk to your GP about your feelings it could be good for you.
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    (Original post by tom_tom_tom)
    In some respects this was very similar to myself, i didnt feel like i could speak to anyone, as in some ways people often find certain topics hard to deal with if they havent been through a similar thing themselves.

    Anyway i digress, the whole idea of a counsellor could be appealing to you, as they dont have expectations, they know how to deal with things, and above most, they dont know you and they cant tell anyone that you do know etc. Even if you were just to talk to your GP about your feelings it could be good for you.

    Its not only that I find it hard to speak to people, its the fact that Ive never felt the need to but as I have gotten older my thoughts have often been quite scary and wrong.

    But yeah counselling is something to consider after all its their job to help in these kind of situations .

    Thankyou
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    I'm so sorry to hear that :hugs: There isn't really much I can say to help and I can only imagine how you're feeling as I've never been in your position.

    My best friend's father died when she was 10, and she still occasionally goes to a councillor. I know that when she's alone and has nothing to do, she thinks about him a lot.
    She spent last summer making a scrap book and writing about his life, getting stories and anecdotes about him from other family members and contacting his childhood friends and such. She told me it made her feel closer to him by almost reliving his life through photos and stories. Maybe you could try something like that?
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    I like to think that memories etc keeps part of them alive they might not be here in the physical, but they never truly leave- this is the only way i can deal with it ;'( i'm so sorry to hear that u lost ur dad x
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    (Original post by Pan's-Labyrinth)
    Has anyone else lost a parent or someone very close to them. How did you deal with it, did you seek counselling?.
    Well I don't think my loss is quite on your level, but I lost my best friend a few years ago now. He caught an infection after having a bone marrow transplant. Long story cut short - I wrote some poems, lit a candle at his funeral, threw away all letters etc. I had from him (that was a mistake, but I was so angry), didn't seek counselling and talked to my Mum about it.

    It still hurts now and I still think of him every single day, normally more than once. But I know he has gone to a better place now and that helps.

    If you are religious, pray to him and I know he'll be listening If you have any specific questions and think I can help, feel free to PM me

    sorry to hear of your loss :console:
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    (Original post by missaphrodite)
    I'm so sorry for your loss...
    I don't know what I can say...but there's a girl in my year who lost her father suddenly a couple of years back and she very recently lost her long term boyfriend in an accident...and she's the loveliest person.
    Personally I can't believe in God because of these sorts of things, but I suppose you just have to try and find strength from whatever sources you can. I do however believe in a kind of life after death and a closeness of loved ones after they have passed over.
    You could try writing down your feelings, talking to your family or friends, or you can seek counseling. I'm sure you've tried some of these though.
    I think you're doing really well and being strong, doing your best for him, making him proud best wishes.

    I don't know if I beleive in god or not, but I certainly hope there is an after life, it scares me to think that when we die there is nothing left for us. But hey less of the sinister thinking, and I dont often think about death just how I wish my dad could have seen me grow up.

    Thanks for your reply
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    (Original post by BJP)
    Well I don't think my loss is quite on your level, but I lost my best friend a few years ago now. He caught an infection after having a bone marrow transplant. Long story cut short - I wrote some poems, lit a candle at his funeral, threw away all letters etc. I had from him (that was a mistake, but I was so angry), didn't seek counselling and talked to my Mum about it.

    It still hurts now and I still think of him every single day, normally more than once. But I know he has gone to a better place now and that helps.

    If you are religious, pray to him and I know he'll be listening If you have any specific questions and think I can help, feel free to PM me

    sorry to hear of your loss :console:
    Yeah I went through a stage of being angry even though I was little I was angry that he had left me and would often cry about it, Im not religious as such as I dont know if I beleive in god, but I hope there is an afterlife and I will often look at a picture of me and my dad ad speak to him.

    Gosh I sound crazy but it makes me feel as if he is with me even if it is for a few minutes.

    Sorry about your best friend Im sure hes looking down on you
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    watching pan's labyrinth doesn't help
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    that isn't crazy, it's perfectly natural. everyone has to deal with things their in their own individual way

    take care
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    (Original post by Pan's-Labyrinth)
    Yeah I went through a stage of being angry even though I was little I was angry that he had left me and would often cry about it, Im not religious as such as I dont know if I beleive in god, but I hope there is an afterlife and I will often look at a picture of me and my dad ad speak to him.

    Gosh I sound crazy but it makes me feel as if he is with me even if it is for a few minutes.


    Sorry about your best friend Im sure hes looking down on you
    Nooo, don't be silly, whatever you can do that helps you - you should do! I'm sure he is listening and having had such a loss, nobody would begrudge you taking the opportunity to speak to him when you need to! Keep your chin up, sounds like you've done a great job so far!
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    (Original post by dontpanic432)
    I'm so sorry to hear that :hugs: There isn't really much I can say to help and I can only imagine how you're feeling as I've never been in your position.

    My best friend's father died when she was 10, and she still occasionally goes to a councillor. I know that when she's alone and has nothing to do, she thinks about him a lot.
    She spent last summer making a scrap book and writing about his life, getting stories and anecdotes about him from other family members and contacting his childhood friends and such. She told me it made her feel closer to him by almost reliving his life through photos and stories. Maybe you could try something like that?
    I was lucky I was 6 when he died and the school and friends and family I had made photo albums with him in and me as a baby etc, I also have alot of information about him and poems that people had written. It makes me sad as alot of them say how I was his world etc. But yeah memories are something I can treasure forever.
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    (Original post by Diaz89)
    watching pan's labyrinth doesn't help
    I know, Im actually obsessed with it.

    I love the film best film I think Ive ever seen. Kinda freaky too.
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    (Original post by Pan's-Labyrinth)
    Has anyone else lost a parent or someone very close to them. How did you deal with it, did you seek counselling?.
    Yeah my dad died last year, I just kinda got through it for my mum's sake and put it all to the back of my mind, then it all started coming out again when I started uni, I started getting counselling a couple of months ago and it does seem to be helping quite a bit so maybe try that?
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    My dad died when I was 12, it hurts everyday and people always say "you'll get over it" but you don't, you only adjust to it. You're going to miss him and the best thing you can probably do is talk, I bottled up, and as a result I suffer from panic attacks. These started when my uncle died a year after my dad, I had always been close but in that last year he had become my father figure, and the pain i felt when we lost him aswell was unbearable.

    Furthermore, never let anyone try and tell you that you should get over it and don't just think there is someone worse off, because yes it's true, but you're not dealing with their problems you're dealing with your's, and the only way to do this is to acknowledge them full on.

    I hope this helps and my thoughts are with you xxx
 
 
 
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