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Moving in with boyfriend 1st year uni?
Hi everyone,
I was asking people opinions on the following situation. I will be going to uni september 2010. I have been dating a guy for over a year now. We've talked about a future together. There's a bit of an age gap (7 years) but it works. It seems werid but trust me, that's not the problem. He's finished his uni and is in a naft job. So when i go 2 uni, we want 2 live together. But i want the experience of living in halls and if we did live together we would not have long after results to find a place and get everything sorted. Living together would be brilliant though. I was wondering if it would be possible to move into halls for the 1st term and then move out again. Also, has anyone moved straight in with their bf? What are people's opinions on this? Thanks for your opinions in advance.
I was asking people opinions on the following situation. I will be going to uni september 2010. I have been dating a guy for over a year now. We've talked about a future together. There's a bit of an age gap (7 years) but it works. It seems werid but trust me, that's not the problem. He's finished his uni and is in a naft job. So when i go 2 uni, we want 2 live together. But i want the experience of living in halls and if we did live together we would not have long after results to find a place and get everything sorted. Living together would be brilliant though. I was wondering if it would be possible to move into halls for the 1st term and then move out again. Also, has anyone moved straight in with their bf? What are people's opinions on this? Thanks for your opinions in advance.
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If your heart is wanting to live in halls, then go with that. If your boyfriend really wants this relationship to work then he'll stand by you regardless of the living situation.
I doubt you'd be able to move into uni just for one term, I think you are contractually obliged to stay there unless you drop out of you/something bad happens. Also, you would have to cover the rent if the room was left empty.
I have lived with my boyfriend since first year of uni, he moved to Uni with me. It was a bit rushed when we were looking for a house after I got my A level results, and yeah it was pretty stressful but we found somewhere and more than two years later we are happier than ever.
Could you not say that you want to live in halls for your first year? And them if you are still happy with this guy and wanting to live with him, maybe do so in second year? This will give you the whole of summer and the months before that to a) decide what you want to do and b) find a place to live!!
Don't rush into it. If your heart is set on student halls then he'll understand.
I doubt you'd be able to move into uni just for one term, I think you are contractually obliged to stay there unless you drop out of you/something bad happens. Also, you would have to cover the rent if the room was left empty.
I have lived with my boyfriend since first year of uni, he moved to Uni with me. It was a bit rushed when we were looking for a house after I got my A level results, and yeah it was pretty stressful but we found somewhere and more than two years later we are happier than ever.
Could you not say that you want to live in halls for your first year? And them if you are still happy with this guy and wanting to live with him, maybe do so in second year? This will give you the whole of summer and the months before that to a) decide what you want to do and b) find a place to live!!
Don't rush into it. If your heart is set on student halls then he'll understand.
I know someone who was in a very similar position to you (older BF with rubbish job) who moved in with him for first year uni and it ended terribly. Uni is about learning who you are and gaining experiences for yourself, and this girl outgrew him very quickly. I'm not saying split up, but I'm pleased to see you're thinking about halls for first year - I know other people who did this and it's gone a lot better. It's possible to move out of halls at christmas, but it's more than likely you'll have to pay the rent until June - check all your contracts. Even if you did leave early you'd almost certainly not get a deposit back, which could be £300. Your flatmates may not take you leaving early well either, people often take these things personally and I'm sure you want to make friends. It would probably also be good for him not to move until he does find a job, as these things are tougher at the moment and you don't want to be working hard at uni if he's on the dole (what happened to my friend) So, in brief, I recommend halls for first year then maybe see where you're at after that.
No.
No no no no no no.
You will change A LOT at uni, and its quite likely you won't stay together.
Live in halls - if he's worth it, he'll understand
No no no no no no.
You will change A LOT at uni, and its quite likely you won't stay together.
Live in halls - if he's worth it, he'll understand
Me and my boyfriend have been together for a year and 2 months, and I am going to uni in September. At first I was thinking about splitting up when I go, but I couldn't imagine not being with him now! Our master plan is to stay together for the first year and then in my second year, he is going to move with me if things are all still good. I really wouldn't recommend missing out on the social side of university for the first year though. There really is no rush, you're still 18ish, and you have the rest of your life to settle down. But I wouldn't want to sacrifice the funness of the first year of uni and the experience, so if you are strong enough as a couple to live together, you will be strong enough to have a year of not seeing much of each other!
Im am goin to Nottingham Trent uni in October and so is my b/f! We have been together for 4 years (5years when its freshers week)! But im stayin in halls and he is stayin at home (although he wanted to stay in halls, but because he did a HNC course (he is 2 years older than me) he doesnt get a loan for the first year of his degree, only his 2nd and 3rd year)! All my friends who are currently at uni (I took a gap year) say halls is great experience, and they have found it easier to make friends, found out about freshers events more easily cos of freshers reps and say its part of uni life and that! Also my mates who have stayed at home wish they had moved out! My b/f says he gonna stay round mine most of the time lol cos he doesnt wanna miss out!
I don't know what to say but from personal experience I've only see it become a problem. Even the closest of couples, even people that have known each other and been together for years before uni have split up in their 1st, 2nd or final year and it's become a huge problem because they end up living with their ex (which is awkward) I have nothing to advise but I'm just letting you know what I've seen happen.
Danny_777
If you really think you're going to stay together, is the rest of your life not enough time...?
FFS, don't waste the only opportunity you will ever have to live in uni halls.
Plus, if you break up you're screwed. Be a bit sensible.
FFS, don't waste the only opportunity you will ever have to live in uni halls.
Plus, if you break up you're screwed. Be a bit sensible.
This!
Honestly, if you're going to be together for the rest of your lives waiting a year to move in together is going to be fine.
I'm going to be 5 hours away from my boyfriend when I move to university, but we realise that if we can't make it through 3 years with that then we can't exactly make it through much else. At least you will have to option to see your boyf etc. Maybe he could rent a small flat to himself?
Anonymous
Hi everyone,
I was asking people opinions on the following situation. I will be going to uni september 2010. I have been dating a guy for over a year now. We've talked about a future together. There's a bit of an age gap (7 years) but it works. It seems werid but trust me, that's not the problem. He's finished his uni and is in a naft job. So when i go 2 uni, we want 2 live together. But i want the experience of living in halls and if we did live together we would not have long after results to find a place and get everything sorted. Living together would be brilliant though. I was wondering if it would be possible to move into halls for the 1st term and then move out again. Also, has anyone moved straight in with their bf? What are people's opinions on this? Thanks for your opinions in advance.
I was asking people opinions on the following situation. I will be going to uni september 2010. I have been dating a guy for over a year now. We've talked about a future together. There's a bit of an age gap (7 years) but it works. It seems werid but trust me, that's not the problem. He's finished his uni and is in a naft job. So when i go 2 uni, we want 2 live together. But i want the experience of living in halls and if we did live together we would not have long after results to find a place and get everything sorted. Living together would be brilliant though. I was wondering if it would be possible to move into halls for the 1st term and then move out again. Also, has anyone moved straight in with their bf? What are people's opinions on this? Thanks for your opinions in advance.
Hmmm...why the rush? you've only been going out for a year.
I know people who stayed together through University, although it did take alot of hardwork and commitment. Not to say you can't do it, but what about living apart? it may end up strengthening your relationship.
Enjoy university, it will help you develop as a student and more importantly as an individual. You'll meet all kinds of people and your perspectives will change, in some cases quite drastically. I really doubt you could enjoy Uni with your boyfriend living with you, by all means stay together....but living together during first year? Big NO NO.
I wouldn’t do it. As previously mentioned, you change so much at uni, mainly for the better, and if your boyfriend is there it’s going to restrict you changing and developing your personality.
and it will also restrict you from meeting others, as you’re going to be with him, and it will be off putting to all the other fresher’s,
Also, he won’t be allowed to live in halls with you, as there for students only. And most won’t rent out for just a term, unless you’re an international only here for the term.
I really wouldn’t do it. If you’re worried about being too far apart, go to a closer uni, so you can see him every weekend.
and it will also restrict you from meeting others, as you’re going to be with him, and it will be off putting to all the other fresher’s,
Also, he won’t be allowed to live in halls with you, as there for students only. And most won’t rent out for just a term, unless you’re an international only here for the term.
I really wouldn’t do it. If you’re worried about being too far apart, go to a closer uni, so you can see him every weekend.
I know someone whose in about the same position as you seem to be, and there is light at the end of the tunnel, trust me.
Here's a suggestion -go into halls the first year -he can come and stay with you at weekends/or if he takes a holiday, you can go to him during holidays/reading week or long weekends if your timetable permits.
After the first year, if all is still ok, then consider him moving in with you. No doubt you'll have other ppl you'll want to live with too -so he could move in with you. That works for some ppl. But in the first year, you really do need to go into halls & just get on with uni life. That's not to say the BF can't be a big part of your life, but sometimes being apart is the best way to test the 'strength' of a relationship -I know it sounds harsh and I'm not suggesting it won't work out for you.
Normally, you're locked into the Assured Shorthold Tenancy for a year.
Good luck.
Here's a suggestion -go into halls the first year -he can come and stay with you at weekends/or if he takes a holiday, you can go to him during holidays/reading week or long weekends if your timetable permits.
After the first year, if all is still ok, then consider him moving in with you. No doubt you'll have other ppl you'll want to live with too -so he could move in with you. That works for some ppl. But in the first year, you really do need to go into halls & just get on with uni life. That's not to say the BF can't be a big part of your life, but sometimes being apart is the best way to test the 'strength' of a relationship -I know it sounds harsh and I'm not suggesting it won't work out for you.
Normally, you're locked into the Assured Shorthold Tenancy for a year.
Good luck.
I wouldn't recommend moving in with your boyfriend at this stage. I was in a similar position the year before I started uni and in the end, I decided to live in halls rather than with my boyfriend. It was the best decision I ever made. The experience of living in halls and having fun and meeting new people was something I'm so glad I didn't miss out on. It didn't work out with my boyfriend either, as we broke up soon after I started my first year. I'd have been screwed if that had happened and I'd been living with him.
I would suggest moving into halls for the first year at least. Its great for making new friends and experiencing uni life. Theres always plenty of time to live with your boyfriend later.
I would suggest moving into halls for the first year at least. Its great for making new friends and experiencing uni life. Theres always plenty of time to live with your boyfriend later.
I moved in with mine in sept, he has a job, and i commuted to uni.
Fast forward to april and the man i trusted enough to commit to decides he doesnt feel the same way about me, meaning i have to move back home and have lost my independence.
And trust me, I never would of moved in with him if I hadnt been 100% sure it was for good and going to work.
Fast forward to april and the man i trusted enough to commit to decides he doesnt feel the same way about me, meaning i have to move back home and have lost my independence.
And trust me, I never would of moved in with him if I hadnt been 100% sure it was for good and going to work.
My best friend did this. She picked the same uni her boyfriend was at purely because he was there then moved into a tiny studio flat with him. He's a second year and already had the halls experience then pressured her to move in with him so she missed out. They'd been together about 2 years when they moved in and although they're still a couple, she now regards it as the biggest mistake she ever made. She said it ruined their relationship as they're sick to death of eachother because neither have any other friends in their uni city. She feels like she's missed out a hell of a lot on the halls experience and has had a hard time making friends. She's contemplating breaking up with her boyfriend in the summer when they're housing contract is up and they can go their separate ways and she's applied to live in halls next year.
Please think about this very carefully lovely. I'm not saying you'll end up like my best friend and her boyfriend. But you can always live in halls first year and live with him afterwards if you still want to? It's an amazing experience and you shouldn't have to miss out on it.
Please think about this very carefully lovely. I'm not saying you'll end up like my best friend and her boyfriend. But you can always live in halls first year and live with him afterwards if you still want to? It's an amazing experience and you shouldn't have to miss out on it.
iloveyou_xx
But you can always live in halls first year and live with him afterwards if you still want to? It's an amazing experience and you shouldn't have to miss out on it.
I agree! Me and my b/f are goin the same uni in October but are movin in to halls! And then in 2nd and 3rd year I will live with him and hopefully also with a few friends that we meet! My mates who are at uni now say halls is great experience and the best way to meet new people! (:
xzoe18x
I agree! Me and my b/f are goin the same uni in October but are movin in to halls! And then in 2nd and 3rd year I will live with him and hopefully also with a few friends that we meet! My mates who are at uni now say halls is great experience and the best way to meet new people! (:
Ah ha...the pre University optimism about relationships...the next 3 years will be certain to increase your cynicism about relationships/guys on the whole.
Did you guys intentionally pick the same Uni?
Because I can only see such a situation causing problems/restricting your ability to develop as an individual, independent of your boyfriend/friends from home.
People change so much at Uni, partly down to the fact its a new place, with new people, hence a chance to start again or become who you've always wanted to be. And to be honest, that's a chance which rarely comes along in life, so for it be restricted, in my opinion seems like a waste.
Not to say I'm right, but the thought of intentionally picking the same Uni as my gf immediately strikes me as a bad, bad idea.
LifeFreedom13
Ah ha...the pre University optimism about relationships...the next 3 years will be certain to increase your cynicism about relationships/guys on the whole.
Did you guys intentionally pick the same Uni?
Because I can only see such a situation causing problems/restricting your ability to develop as an individual, independent of your boyfriend/friends from home.
People change so much at Uni, partly down to the fact its a new place, with new people, hence a chance to start again or become who you've always wanted to be. And to be honest, that's a chance which rarely comes along in life, so for it be restricted, in my opinion seems like a waste.
Not to say I'm right, but the thought of intentionally picking the same Uni as my gf immediately strikes me as a bad, bad idea.
Did you guys intentionally pick the same Uni?
Because I can only see such a situation causing problems/restricting your ability to develop as an individual, independent of your boyfriend/friends from home.
People change so much at Uni, partly down to the fact its a new place, with new people, hence a chance to start again or become who you've always wanted to be. And to be honest, that's a chance which rarely comes along in life, so for it be restricted, in my opinion seems like a waste.
Not to say I'm right, but the thought of intentionally picking the same Uni as my gf immediately strikes me as a bad, bad idea.
Yea we did, but only cos its our local uni! In the first year im movin in to halls, hes stayin at home! And Nottingham isnt a new place to us, we have lived here for all our lives lol! And I have been with him for 5years when we start university! But I dont think it will restrict us from meetin people etc, cos at the moment we dont spend every minuite of everyday with each other! He sees his friends, I see mine etc! And as for being someone you have always wanted to be, well that aint being yourself!
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