a little help...

i want to help him/her

I have a friend who is clinically depressed. She's also a compulsive liar, and a self-harmer. The best thing you can do, in my view, is make it known that you are there for him or her. They will seek professional help if and when they feel the need to. If you try and force them, you isolate yourself from them, and they feel pressured and may not confide in you anymore. Just be there. Talk, hug, listen, and don't judge.

no offence, but that is **** advice. he needs help now.... not when he decides to slash himself and ends up bleeding on the floor in hospital

listen to gonnabavet, she just gave very good advice

No, because most self harmers aren't actually suicidal, they harm themselves, but rarely with the intention of actually doing alot of damage. It's a release mechanism. Few doctors do much for self harmers. Antidepressants obv. are an option but many people refuse to take them, plus they can make people withdrawn, tired, moody, lose appetite etc. Yes, this friend needs help now, but what help can he be given? He knows that he needs help, he knows whats wrong, he knows that he should get it sorted, but he hasn't. Why not? Because he isn't ready? Or he just doesn't want to? Whatever the reason, pressuring someone into seeking help before they are ready doesn't have good outcomes, in my experience. Maybe others are different, but as long as you feel it's under this person's control, it should be okay. Otherwise, suggestions about getting help, and showing them the sort of help they can get may be a good idea.

Still, what do I know?
I'm talking **** right?

I could well have written that post - I have a friend very much the same. and it's gotten to the point that no matter how many times I've insisted that they get out of this cycle, help themselves [and they've actually agreed with me, and made some sort of action plan] she ALWAYS goes back to the lying, cheating, using and just thinking about herself and how to make herself sound better and more grown up, and in more dramatic situations than anyone else...

I think the only thing that has gotten to my friend so far is [as has been mentioned] the "tough love" approach.

Because, as it stands, they're getting the attention they want, creating a drama, letting everyone fawn all over them, and then shoving their advie where the sun don't shine. I've found with my friend if I'm a lot more truthful, and if I let her know that I *KNOW* she's lying to me, she gets very unsettled, and starts to untwist the lie, and eventually bring the truth to the surface.

I think if you're finding it hard to handle the situation yourself, then you must insist that some sort of authority figure or professional begins to deal with your friend, before they become even more self destructive.

cheers for the post, the tough love does work well, but the person storms off usually, so little process is made. Better a little progress than leaving them to rot I suppose...