Sleep Together?

wtf???

sorry i only just read the bit you havent kissed her yet. so how is she ur gf? are u sure u rnt just mates? how can you think you can sleep with her if after 7 weeks u rnt kissing?

Reply 22

OP

Well I know I shouldnt compare but with my ex it was a blantent yes or no moment/ answer - hence my problem has occured with someone new.

However my new gf is very quiet (not that shy, just quiet if you get what i mean). Every time I see her we dont say goodbye at the end of the day until we reallllly have to (to the point of on wednesday i missed my last train home and got stuck in ldn - my mum wasnt impressed when i called at 2am for her to pick me up, but thats another story). She doesnt give any signs as far as I am aware of of physical things, apart from holding hands.

Though when I left her from Wednesday, she did give me a kiss on the cheek and a MASSIVE hug, so she def likes me. She even says "i love you" in texts.

Im not sure if its the case of "Im a girl, and since your a guy you should make the moves first". Though if I am wrong in presuming this - Im in trouble... :frown:

Reply 23

Zurich

9

blissy

Sleep on the floor, if she wants you she'll invite you into the bed :smile:

Yup!

Reply 24

Fleffzilla

3

Hugs are always a good place to start. I wouldn't sleep in the same bed as her on the first night if you haven't kissed already...
Just wait and see how close you two get before, erm, bed time, don't push for anything, just be patient or whatever, and you can't go far wrong.
If you want, talk to her about it during the day time or something, ask her if she wants the bed and you'll kip on the floor/somewhere else.
Just don't bugger it up on the first night, because you'll have the rest of the week with her.

Reply 25

SsEe

13

Sleep on the floor. She may feel sorry for you being uncomfortable, or she may want you in the bed anyway. If she feels sorry for you and she offers to swap places have none of it. Whatever happens, she sleeps in the bed. Remember that just because you sleep in the same bed doesn't mean you have to have sex. Just being together is great.

Reply 26

OP

OK, so the best option from what I gather is to sleep on the floor for night one and see what happens. I dont expect anything, unless its obvious signs of course.

Am I right so far? What would you folks do? Ever been in this situation before? Come on! I do not believe I am the ONLY one who is confussed about this whole "when to sleep with them" lark. :rolleyes:

Reply 27

SciFi25

Just sleep on the floor, if she wants anything she will invite you into the bed. Trust me, It happened to me!!

Reply 28

__Dreams__

i agree with

Sleep on the floor, if she wants you she'll invite you into the bed

its surely the safest way to go because then its up to her how far you 2 go and u cant mess it up that way.

Reply 29

Debussy

and she'll love you for respecting her and being such a gentleman.

Reply 30

OP

Cheers. Sounds like I am kipping on the floor tomorrow night then. Good job I brought my sleeping bag along with me! :wink:

I would say I will let you know what happens, but I think thats going a little too far. hehe :redface:

Thanks for the advice people! :smile:

Reply 31

Anubis

Well I know I shouldnt compare but with my ex it was a blantent yes or no moment/ answer - hence my problem has occured with someone new.

However my new gf is very quiet (not that shy, just quiet if you get what i mean). Every time I see her we dont say goodbye at the end of the day until we reallllly have to (to the point of on wednesday i missed my last train home and got stuck in ldn - my mum wasnt impressed when i called at 2am for her to pick me up, but thats another story). She doesnt give any signs as far as I am aware of of physical things, apart from holding hands.

Though when I left her from Wednesday, she did give me a kiss on the cheek and a MASSIVE hug, so she def likes me. She even says "i love you" in texts.

Im not sure if its the case of "Im a girl, and since your a guy you should make the moves first". Though if I am wrong in presuming this - Im in trouble... :frown:

anubis!!!! this is exactly like me in the start of my relationship!!!!

are you definately sure she isnt lying about her past relationship?

im like this because i dont have hardly any experience and am a virgin but i knew my bf had alot of experience. i do txt my bf and say i lov him, i txt him everyday. and i did hug him and hold his hand and kiss him only on the cheek for weeks as i was really shy and didnt have alot of experience - i'd only kissed 1 person before.and as a guy, especially as he had alot of experience i did expect him to make the moves.

when she says she had a past relationship, dmaybe they didnt go very far?she seems very very shy althought she does like you

Reply 32

Emma05

The best thing to is ask her what she would like to do and then see what happens

Reply 33

OP

She has def finished her previous relationship over a year ago. Apparently he used to be a drunk and only wanted to be with her whenever he felt the urge to sleep with her - she told me this. Hence this is why I dont want her to get the impression that her "dream guy" suddenly changes into all the other guys and is only after one thing (when I am not).

So, do you expect me to make the first move in the circumstance? I am def gonna sleep on the floor but as to going any further - I REALLLLLLY dont want to hurt my girlfriend. It seems she has been through enough and has been told too many times "i love you", when really her ex meant " i want to sleep with you". :frown:

*Sorry to all the guys out there. I know a lot arent out there for one thing but to this girl they are and I seem different to her. I dont want to spoil that, even though I wanna take things up a peg or two.

Reply 34

maybe that was her only relationstp? otherwise how comes hasnt she kissed u? i must say, u r a gentleman for waiting so long! maybe tell her u lov her and care about her and don wana hurt her like the other men did, and that u'll wait until she trust u and is ready. and also, do try to go in for the kiss, but if she turns the head away or only kisses the cheek then she dont want anymore.

or, say to her, ok im going to sleep on the floor, and then she might say 'no dont do that' or else she'll leave u to sleep on the floor then u wont have any.

Reply 35

__Dreams__

this is a very good way to make her like you more as it shows you respect her and dont want to hurt her. the last bit will make her think what her last relationship was like and how much better it is with u

maybe that was her only relationstp? otherwise how comes hasnt she kissed u? i must say, u r a gentleman for waiting so long! maybe tell her u lov her and care about her and don wana hurt her like the other men did

Reply 36

queenselphie

On one hand, you have the likelyhood she is asuming that at some point in the week you two will have sex. She's coming to stay in your room, she's your girlfriend, she isnt a virgin, and she likes you. It seems like in most, normal, natural cases this would happen.
However, I think you'd benefit from sleeping on the floor for three reasons:
1: She can always ask you to sleep with her, and no harm will have been done, whereas assuming she wants you in the bed might do harm.
2: Building tension is nice. You'll appreciate things more if you dont rush them. You can take the first day just to kiss and then there isnt any pressure to do more.
3: It prooves to her that you arent just interested in her for sex, that you are patient, romantic, and self sacrificing.

Then if there is an issue, like she has worries about sex, dosent feel ready, or worries about what you want her for, she is reassured. If she asks you into the bed, hints as much, or it happens naturally then you'll know where you stand there too.

Reply 37

OP

I sort of get what you saying. In other words, drop a very small subtle hint thats "kind" in a way about sleeping on the floor.

O btw, dont worry - Im not that stupid to turn around and leave her to sleep on the floor. How mean would that be!!! I think I would kick myself out without her assistance. lol. :p:

Reply 38

queenselphie

On one hand, you have the likelyhood she is asuming that at some point in the week you two will have sex. She's coming to stay in your room, she's your girlfriend, she isnt a virgin, and she likes you. It seems like in most, normal, natural cases this would happen.
However, I think you'd benefit from sleeping on the floor for three reasons:
1: She can always ask you to sleep with her, and no harm will have been done, whereas assuming she wants you in the bed might do harm.
2: Building tension is nice. You'll appreciate things more if you dont rush them. You can take the first day just to kiss and then there isnt any pressure to do more.
3: It prooves to her that you arent just interested in her for sex, that you are patient, romantic, and self sacrificing.

Then if there is an issue, like she has worries about sex, dosent feel ready, or worries about what you want her for, she is reassured. If she asks you into the bed, hints as much, or it happens naturally then you'll know where you stand there too.

this is excellent advice

Reply 39

OP