The Student Room Group

I love my squishy bits!

I've been reading a lot of magazines lately, and it strikes me as somewhat ironic that they write articles on loving yourself for who you are, and not measuring yourself up against impossible standards and so on and so forth, but illustrate them with pictures of gorgeous models who are supposed to be representative of real women.

They do features on anorexia, bulimia and the hidden dangers of liposuction, but turn over the page and you've got the fashion section, packed full of pictures of waif like models who are about six foot tall and weigh about six stone, and the message is supposed to be that these women look great. I just get the feeling that they tell you you're fine just the way you are, but they don't actually mean it.

Reading through the threads on here, it's evident. People have so many insecurities, ranging from height, to weight, to boob size, to body hair.....

For pity's sake, can't you just try and love yourselves the way you are?

I used to spend hours staring at myself in the mirror miserably, thinking, "My tummy wobbles, I have big thighs, I'd love to lose five pounds from here and stick it on here, why couldn't I be born with straight hair, my teeth are slightly crooked, I have big feet, my face is too round, my forehead is too big......blah blah blah."

Then one day it dawned on me that I'm probably the only person who notices all my imperfections. No one else was scrutinising my body and my face in the way that I was, and I wasn't nearly as critical of others as I was of myself.

When I was with my first boyfriend, at first I was really nervous about getting my kit off in front of him, because I was so self-conscious about my body. But seriously - even if you do have wobbly bits - the guy is just so ecstatic that you're naked, he doesn't even care! Plus, my male friends tell me they quite like to have a bit of extra flesh to hold onto anyway!

To be fair, I now straighten my hair (could never really embrace my curls) and I did have braces on my teeth for a while, but the single biggest thing I have changed is my attitude. I can now look at myself in the mirror and think, "Yeah, I'm gorgeous!"

Sounds strange, but it's true. We can talk about diets and slimming pills and liposuction, and we can have boob jobs and botox, and in this day and age no one cares. But we can't be heard to say we actually think we're good looking, because then we're branded as cocky show offs.

Maybe self-appreciation is the biggest taboo of all?

That's my little rant over, hope someone liked it.

:smile:

Scroll to see replies

congratulations for finding such self acceptance - most people never do.
I know I always feel more down after Ive read magazines with pretty people in, and sometimes I hate my looks, but I do believe like you do that a girl can be less than perfect looking and find happiness still.
Well done for posting what you feel, anyway.
Pah... I never read magazines or anything with pretty peoplei .. and I still hate the way I look :bawling:

Congrats to you though :smile:
Reply 3
i'm really glad for you... i like some of my squishy bits... but some of them really shouldn't be there and need attending to soon...

but you're theory is exquisite (as are your wobbly bits)
Reply 4
i wud love myself. but noone, absolutly NOONE, loves me. how can i love myself- knowing something like that?!?!
Reply 5
My mum loves me, that will do for now!
RiOt GiRl
i wud love myself. but noone, absolutly NOONE, loves me. how can i love myself- knowing something like that?!?!


Love yourself first, enjoy loving yourself, make it look cool, and then everybody else will follow suit and do the same!

Trust me, it works!

Well thanks for reading, everyone. :smile:
Reply 7
RiOt GiRl
i wud love myself. but noone, absolutly NOONE, loves me. how can i love myself- knowing something like that?!?!


I'm sure someone loves you :smile: I've never had a chance really to feel unconfortable with myself, although everyone has those 'i'm getting really fat' thoughts. One of my best friends was diagnosed with anorexia when she was 13, and she nearly died becasue of it...she knows people that did die because of it...it was heartbreaking for me and everyone else who knows her to see her at under 4 stone, and from then on i decided that i would never obsess about my weight cos i knew what it could lead to. Since then i have ahd another friend who has had anorexia, although not as severe as my other friend. I love myself for the way i am, and i know that other people love me just the way i am. If i was another 5 inches taller i wouldn't be the person that i am, and those people that love me, maybe wouldn't. Love yourself for who you are :biggrin:
Reply 8
susiemakemeblue
But seriously - even if you do have wobbly bits - the guy is just so ecstatic that you're naked, he doesn't even care!


:biggrin: :biggrin: Quality quality post!

And the rest of it too, go forth, spread your belief amongst your people!
People will love you whoever you are, whatever you look like. You can only get back what you give.
lessthanthree
I guess loving yourself is a stage a little far off from where you are now.

The first step, I think is realising that in not liking yourself, you'll not get anywhere fast, and if you don't like yourself, I think you send that vibe to the people you meet, and they'll possibly think "well, if she can't be bothered to look after/like herself, why should I?" If the truth be told, it is VERY hard for a friend or boyfriend or whatever to be constantly havaing to pick someone up, and try to cheer them up/make them see past their body.
It's very tedious when you've got a friend who hates themselves despite the fact that you are constantly trying to make them see how nice they really are.

I think that you first need to be accepting of who you are before you begin to like/love yourself. What don't you like, and what could you feasably change for the better? Make yourself some attainable goals to that effect. What do you like about yourself [or what do you dislike the least] - and can you accentuate that?

Loving yourself is not about knowing how many people love you -it's about knowing that deep down, you're a good person, and if they don't like you for who you are, why are they worth worrying about anyway?


Exactly.
Reply 11
Nobody's perfect :p:
Zurich
Nobody's perfect :p:


Exactly :smile:
Zurich
Nobody's perfect :p:


:biggrin::biggrin::biggrin:
Reply 14
Weeeee love yoooooooouuuuu!!!!!1
I think lessthanthree needs some sort of award/statue/recognition in honour of her aptitude for advice.

(not to glaze over susiemakemeblue, but lessthanthree is ubiquitous on this forum)
Reply 16
Its really good that you've managed to reach that nirvana of self esteem. :smile:
I once was there... it was quite nice. Then someone told me that I was an ugly munter >_<
Needless to say I came out of my dreamworld then :frown: Pah... never mind
Reply 17
I think this thread is brill. I realise that I'm not perfect and have accepted it now, however, when I was 16 I went on a diet, but I didn't change at all! I guess this is the way I'm meant to be!! Complete with wobbly and squishy bits :biggrin:
Reply 18
Wobbly and squishy bits are brilliant. Have you never heard the queen song 'fat bottomed girls'?? Fat bottomed girls make the rocking world go round!!
Reply 19
lessthanthree
Oh, I'm such a big booty white girl (:


HI!! lol! :biggrin: