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I need to lie for her!
My mate has a bf. Even though they are only 15 they are very serious. Practically act like a married couple and have been going out for about a year this month i think it is. Anyways, last Friday, she came to a party with me and ended up kissing my cousins mate for the entire night. 
She was really very drunk but it still doesn't excuse her and she was the one who made the first move. The next morning she told me never to talk about it again, but that day she went to her bf's house and he asked her if she liked any guys there. She lied and said that there was a guy that was following her about all night but she just ignored him. Now whenever anyone asks she tells them this and she's saying i should say the same if i get asked. If her bf asks me, how the hell can i lie to him?! He's a good mate of mine as well and he really doesn't deserve to be cheated on like this. My question is, if you were in my situation, what would you do?
She was really very drunk but it still doesn't excuse her and she was the one who made the first move. The next morning she told me never to talk about it again, but that day she went to her bf's house and he asked her if she liked any guys there. She lied and said that there was a guy that was following her about all night but she just ignored him. Now whenever anyone asks she tells them this and she's saying i should say the same if i get asked. If her bf asks me, how the hell can i lie to him?! He's a good mate of mine as well and he really doesn't deserve to be cheated on like this. My question is, if you were in my situation, what would you do?Scroll to see replies
Say something like:
'Its not my place to say, I think you'd better talk to her about it.'
'Its not my place to say, I think you'd better talk to her about it.'
Say how uncomfortable it makes you feel having to lie for her, but I don't think you should (potentially) ruin their relationship by telling him the truth. If she wants to lie to him, fine, but make your feelings about it clear, and say you will never do it in future, this is a one off, last chance, sort of thing. That'll hopefully keep her a little more controlled...
Whatever Trevor. Tell the guy!
PublicSchoolAnn
Whatever Trevor. Tell the guy!
And ruin someone elses relationship?
In my opinion, the only people that should be able to stop a relationship (unless it's illegal or something) are the people in the relationship. Even if that means lying once or twice; make it very clear you'll never do it again for her, then if the relationship IS ruined, it's not your fault, and you don't feel guilty (as much)... Hmmm, I rambled on a bit there...
Although I'm all for honesty in a relationship I would actually do as your friend asks of you in this situation.
They're obviously very close, and have been for some time. Intimacy and trust between them isn't much of an issue. As you said, she was drunk and therefore her judgement was clouded. However, she did make the conscious decision not to take the situation any further. There's a difference between kissing someone when you're drunk, and sleeping with him or her.
As a male, I could cope with it if my girlfriend did that, but I probably wouldn't want to know about it if possible because it would cause some emotional damage on mine and her part. The end result for them will be that they stay together if they're as close as you make out. After all, it was only a kiss. This way, only the female friend has any kind of punishment by living with the guilt for a while. The other option would result in leaving them both hurt.
Obviously, if it happens again take some more drastic action. Do tell her you're not comfy lying for her.
They're obviously very close, and have been for some time. Intimacy and trust between them isn't much of an issue. As you said, she was drunk and therefore her judgement was clouded. However, she did make the conscious decision not to take the situation any further. There's a difference between kissing someone when you're drunk, and sleeping with him or her.
As a male, I could cope with it if my girlfriend did that, but I probably wouldn't want to know about it if possible because it would cause some emotional damage on mine and her part. The end result for them will be that they stay together if they're as close as you make out. After all, it was only a kiss. This way, only the female friend has any kind of punishment by living with the guilt for a while. The other option would result in leaving them both hurt.
Obviously, if it happens again take some more drastic action. Do tell her you're not comfy lying for her.
Tell her you won't go and tell him, but you're not prepared to lie either, and you think she should tell him.
Fleff
And ruin someone elses relationship?
In my opinion, the only people that should be able to stop a relationship (unless it's illegal or something) are the people in the relationship. Even if that means lying once or twice; make it very clear you'll never do it again for her, then if the relationship IS ruined, it's not your fault, and you don't feel guilty (as much)... Hmmm, I rambled on a bit there...
In my opinion, the only people that should be able to stop a relationship (unless it's illegal or something) are the people in the relationship. Even if that means lying once or twice; make it very clear you'll never do it again for her, then if the relationship IS ruined, it's not your fault, and you don't feel guilty (as much)... Hmmm, I rambled on a bit there...
They guy is her friend too.
a)I dont like lying in genral
b)I couldnt lie to a friend
c)lying makes the baby jesus cry
ZigZag
Although I'm all for honesty in a relationship I would actually do as your friend asks of you in this situation.
They're obviously very close, and have been for some time. Intimacy and trust between them isn't much of an issue. As you said, she was drunk and therefore her judgement was clouded. However, she did make the conscious decision not to take the situation any further. There's a difference between kissing someone when you're drunk, and sleeping with him or her.
As a male, I could cope with it if my girlfriend did that, but I probably wouldn't want to know about it if possible because it would cause some emotional damage on mine and her part. The end result for them will be that they stay together if they're as close as you make out. After all, it was only a kiss. This way, only the female friend has any kind of punishment by living with the guilt for a while. The other option would result in leaving them both hurt.
Obviously, if it happens again take some more drastic action. Do tell her you're not comfy lying for her.
They're obviously very close, and have been for some time. Intimacy and trust between them isn't much of an issue. As you said, she was drunk and therefore her judgement was clouded. However, she did make the conscious decision not to take the situation any further. There's a difference between kissing someone when you're drunk, and sleeping with him or her.
As a male, I could cope with it if my girlfriend did that, but I probably wouldn't want to know about it if possible because it would cause some emotional damage on mine and her part. The end result for them will be that they stay together if they're as close as you make out. After all, it was only a kiss. This way, only the female friend has any kind of punishment by living with the guilt for a while. The other option would result in leaving them both hurt.
Obviously, if it happens again take some more drastic action. Do tell her you're not comfy lying for her.
Hm...well yeah the thing was, it wasn't just A kiss, she ended up sucking the face of the guy the whole night. You're right though. I'll just do as she says but if she ever does it again she'll be in a lot of trouble from me.
PublicSchoolAnn
They guy is her friend too.
a)I dont like lying in genral
b)I couldnt lie to a friend
c)lying makes the baby jesus cry
a)I dont like lying in genral
b)I couldnt lie to a friend
c)lying makes the baby jesus cry
I don't like lying either, I'm usually against it, unfortunately I also think it's not right to break someone elses relationship over something as small as a kiss. If it was an affair I could understand her not wanting to lie, but just because they act married doesn't mean they are, so I'm afraid I still stand with not breaking them up.
need_money
Hm...well yeah the thing was, it wasn't just A kiss, she ended up sucking the face of the guy the whole night. You're right though. I'll just do as she says but if she ever does it again she'll be in a lot of trouble from me.
Tell her that. Make it crystal clear you're not happy lying to a friend, and wont do it in future. It gives her no reason to get annoyed with you if she does ever do it again and that time you do decide to tell him. You told her so.
tell her boyfriend and enjoy watching the fallout. There's nothing funnier than a pair of angry, angsty 15 year olds.
MB
MB
THis seems such a familiar story with you and your friends.
foolfarian
THis seems such a familiar story with you and your friends.
almost as common as her pregnancy scares.
MB
foolfarian
THis seems such a familiar story with you and your friends.
And...why's that?
Absolution
Say something like:
'Its not my place to say, I think you'd better talk to her about it.'
'Its not my place to say, I think you'd better talk to her about it.'
Mmmm.. I will probably go with something along the line of Absolution. If she is a good friend of yours, I will tell her to be honest in a relationship too.
What if one day, her boyfriend found out about it, I tell you, it will lead to a big big quarrel..
Guys are about the same as Girls, they don't like to be cheated.. Anyway, who likes? Nobody.
need_money
My mate has a bf. Even though they are only 15 they are very serious. Practically act like a married couple and have been going out for about a year this month i think it is. Anyways, last Friday, she came to a party with me and ended up kissing my cousins mate for the entire night. She was really very drunk but it still doesn't excuse her and she was the one who made the first move. The next morning she told me never to talk about it again, but that day she went to her bf's house and he asked her if she liked any guys there. She lied and said that there was a guy that was following her about all night but she just ignored him. Now whenever anyone asks she tells them this and she's saying i should say the same if i get asked. If her bf asks me, how the hell can i lie to him?! He's a good mate of mine as well and he really doesn't deserve to be cheated on like this. My question is, if you were in my situation, what would you do?
She was really very drunk but it still doesn't excuse her and she was the one who made the first move. The next morning she told me never to talk about it again, but that day she went to her bf's house and he asked her if she liked any guys there. She lied and said that there was a guy that was following her about all night but she just ignored him. Now whenever anyone asks she tells them this and she's saying i should say the same if i get asked. If her bf asks me, how the hell can i lie to him?! He's a good mate of mine as well and he really doesn't deserve to be cheated on like this. My question is, if you were in my situation, what would you do?You have three options:
1. Kill her
2. Kill him
3. Kill yourself
4. Kill everyone else in the world
Saying you have four options does not have the same ring to it
Ring this number for your free ring: 3
Assume from other responses, that a strictly serious response is not critical.
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