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More than friends, but less than lovers?
Way back at the beginning of uni, I met a guy who made a real impression on me. Seven months down the line, I still think he's possibly the most interesting and intriguing person I've ever met. I find it impossible to get my mind off him. We're friends and live in the same halls, so I see him fairly often, yet just chatting to him is still enough to make my day.
When we first met, I had a boyfriend back home and was so caught up in it being the first week of uni and trying not to do anything silly that I didn't make a move. Looking back I'm pretty sure the attraction was mutual at that point (he'd send me very sweet text messages and was generally giving the right signals). However, soon afterwards he started seeing another girl (I saw them together and heard about it through mutual friends). It only lasted for 5 minutes, but I didn't actually realise this. By the time I discovered they were long over, he'd started going out with somebody else.
Now, we're still friends in that when we see each other, we can sit chatting for ages (the connection I have with this guy is unreal, I've never found anything like it). What I find weird is that he never actually told me he has this girlfriend! I've heard about it from other people, and I've seen him walking around with the same girl, but whenever I say 'what are you up to tonight?' or whatever, there's no mention of her. To put it in perspective, by my reckoning they've been together about 6 months, and he and I have been friends all that time. They musn't spend much time together though, as I rarely see them together yet I see him around constantly. He also says things to me which are just more than friendly but less than flirtatious. He's not leading me on at all (I don't get those sweet texts any more) but it's like we're more than friends, but less than 'more than friends', if that makes any sense
There is always, always a spark between us and he is so lovely to me.
I'm just curious as to why he hasn't told me about his girlfriend? He's talked about her to pretty much everyone else I know, but not me, and without being outright I always try and ask questions which would make it easy for him to tell me, but nada. Does he just assume I know somehow? Or what...? We see each other a lot and talk often, so what's stopping him?
I seriously like this boy. I find it hard to get him out of my mind even after all this time. I think he's amazing and I wish I could figure out what's going on, because I feel like I've missed my chance with him.
When we first met, I had a boyfriend back home and was so caught up in it being the first week of uni and trying not to do anything silly that I didn't make a move. Looking back I'm pretty sure the attraction was mutual at that point (he'd send me very sweet text messages and was generally giving the right signals). However, soon afterwards he started seeing another girl (I saw them together and heard about it through mutual friends). It only lasted for 5 minutes, but I didn't actually realise this. By the time I discovered they were long over, he'd started going out with somebody else.
Now, we're still friends in that when we see each other, we can sit chatting for ages (the connection I have with this guy is unreal, I've never found anything like it). What I find weird is that he never actually told me he has this girlfriend! I've heard about it from other people, and I've seen him walking around with the same girl, but whenever I say 'what are you up to tonight?' or whatever, there's no mention of her. To put it in perspective, by my reckoning they've been together about 6 months, and he and I have been friends all that time. They musn't spend much time together though, as I rarely see them together yet I see him around constantly. He also says things to me which are just more than friendly but less than flirtatious. He's not leading me on at all (I don't get those sweet texts any more) but it's like we're more than friends, but less than 'more than friends', if that makes any sense
There is always, always a spark between us and he is so lovely to me.I'm just curious as to why he hasn't told me about his girlfriend? He's talked about her to pretty much everyone else I know, but not me, and without being outright I always try and ask questions which would make it easy for him to tell me, but nada. Does he just assume I know somehow? Or what...? We see each other a lot and talk often, so what's stopping him?
I seriously like this boy. I find it hard to get him out of my mind even after all this time. I think he's amazing and I wish I could figure out what's going on, because I feel like I've missed my chance with him.
It seems like he either presumes you know about her already, and doesn't want to bring it up because of the attraction between you to. Or maybe he doesn't want to tell you because he wants to appear still open so he can still flirt and spend alot of time with you. You are obviously still close friends, and it doesn't seem from your post that he is very serious about the other girl so maybe you haven't missed your chance. Also by not telling you directly about the other girl he must care what you think on the issue, and obviously knows you like him. I say hold on, because him and the girl he is with probably won't last. 
Good luck x luv lil_crazyflakes x
Good luck x luv lil_crazyflakes x
lil_crazyflakes
It seems like he either presumes you know about her already, and doesn't want to bring it up because of the attraction between you to. Or maybe he doesn't want to tell you because he wants to appear still open so he can still flirt and spend alot of time with you. You are obviously still close friends, and it doesn't seem from your post that he is very serious about the other girl so maybe you haven't missed your chance. Also by not telling you directly about the other girl he must care what you think on the issue, and obviously knows you like him. I say hold on, because him and the girl he is with probably won't last. Good luck x luv lil_crazyflakes x
Good luck x luv lil_crazyflakes x:dito: What she said
I'd back up what has already been said.
I know if I really fancy a guy, but Im attached, I try and mention I am attached, but I can see that he might fancy you, and not want to mention his girlfriends for that reason, as if he thinks it would spoil his chances with you, which,...uh...it would, presumably. He's be better off being straight with you.
I know if I really fancy a guy, but Im attached, I try and mention I am attached, but I can see that he might fancy you, and not want to mention his girlfriends for that reason, as if he thinks it would spoil his chances with you, which,...uh...it would, presumably. He's be better off being straight with you.
yeah i was in a situation like that a few years ago, i was mad about a guy and he appeared to be mad about me, but he was seeing someone and never mentioned anything about her to me, i got it into my head that he wasn't telling me cos he knew i liked him and didnt want to upset me, and nothing more, but i was stil crazy about him, and one night i just blurted it out and asked him about her, he told me it wasnt serious cos he had feelings for me all the time, he had no idea how i felt about him,
moral of the story, if u dont tell him how u feel, it could be a wasted opportunity cos he probably is mad about u too.
it didnt work out with that guy cos we were young and it was our first year of college but it was a lovely experience and im with my fiancee now who is te most amazing guy in the world, we just got engaged last week and im SOOO over the moon
moral of the story, if u dont tell him how u feel, it could be a wasted opportunity cos he probably is mad about u too.
it didnt work out with that guy cos we were young and it was our first year of college but it was a lovely experience and im with my fiancee now who is te most amazing guy in the world, we just got engaged last week and im SOOO over the moon
just bring it up in conversation... ask him how things are going with so-and-so. guys are weird about telling girls they like about gfs (i found out today my ex has a gf that he hadn't told me about)
i know when i started uni i met a guy i really liked (and he still is one of my close friends) and i didn't tell him i had a bf... but it was partly cos i didn't want him to think that i thought he liked me (i'm sure that makes sense...) and so be arsed whether i had a bf... and i also found out that some guys won't even speak to you if they realise you have a bf so sometimes it's easier to keep quiet... and as for the guy i liked, he completely embarrassed himself by trying to pull me in front of half my flatmates and me having to confess...
lou xxx
i know when i started uni i met a guy i really liked (and he still is one of my close friends) and i didn't tell him i had a bf... but it was partly cos i didn't want him to think that i thought he liked me (i'm sure that makes sense...) and so be arsed whether i had a bf... and i also found out that some guys won't even speak to you if they realise you have a bf so sometimes it's easier to keep quiet... and as for the guy i liked, he completely embarrassed himself by trying to pull me in front of half my flatmates and me having to confess...
lou xxx
If i was his girlfirend and found out he had casually forgotten to mention me to a friend Id be pretty pi$$ed! If he just sees you as a friend but can tell that you fancy him, that may have put him off telling you about her. But surely it would make more sense if he told you about her and then seen from your reaction whether you liked him or not?!
I dunno if im making sense but you and this bloke obv. have a connection with each other, so he owes you less of this secrecy and a bit more of the truth! Y dont you play dumb and ask him out to the cinema or something, dat way he might say "oh I have a girlfriend"... or hopefully the relationship with this other girl may have fizzled out and so he'll say "yeah sure, I've fancied you for ages!"
Well I dunno if it will work out like that but you never know! good luck, don't let him get away cos its hard to find someone who you have a good connection with
I dunno if im making sense but you and this bloke obv. have a connection with each other, so he owes you less of this secrecy and a bit more of the truth! Y dont you play dumb and ask him out to the cinema or something, dat way he might say "oh I have a girlfriend"... or hopefully the relationship with this other girl may have fizzled out and so he'll say "yeah sure, I've fancied you for ages!"
Well I dunno if it will work out like that but you never know! good luck, don't let him get away cos its hard to find someone who you have a good connection with
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