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Nearly finished first year university, made virtually no friends.

Hey guys..

I'm feeling really lonely right now.. Well the thing is that when I joined uni last september, I had a sort of culture clash and ahd a hard time adapting and making friends...Then at the start of my second semester, I had got used to my new environment, and I made it a point to join some societies to meet new people..Well the truth is it never really worked out, I made some acquaintances through dance classes and badminton socials but that's it.

I don't really have a group of friends I hang out with, I just have a few acquaintances here and there.. I feel really lonely all the time and now that the first year is over, I'm worried I'm going to spend the next two years at uni feeling like that, always so lonely.. Any advice on how to make friends during my second year? :frown:

Reply 1

Anonymous #2

I sort of have this situation at uni, i have friends on my course but they never go out with me or meetup outside of lectures except for work because they all have their own friends. I have two friends who i met through a society and we play sport together, but i never go out with them either. I barely ever go out, i only went out about 3 times the whole of term two. But luckily for me, i enjoy my own company and i can spend hours in my room quite happily, the truth is that i don't really enjoy going out and getting lashed, I just like a quiet drink with friends but no one seems to do that at uni. Anyway, I don't really think there is a miracle cure for finding a good group of friends except for being friendly to people, try not to be shy and gradually work on aquaintances until they become friends. Keep going to the socials and eventually you will become more friendly with people. Go the the badminton sessions and maybe try and get a regular partner etc. Also, try to make friends in lessons, i find they are the easiest place to do it as you regularly see the same people.

Reply 2

JayAyy

14

Try and join societies or clubs. You could even go out on a day with one of your acquaintance's groups of friends and potentially make friends that way?

I'll be your friend.

Why don't you suggest to your accquaintances that everyone should go out together? It would be a great bonding thing.

Reply 5

thecdon

17

Nick_000

I'll be your friend.

im nursing a semi looking at the pic in your sig.

good work

Reply 6

Nick_000

16

thecdon

im nursing a semi looking at the pic in your sig.

good work

I was going to put the naked Rhianna pics up on my sig instead but TSR might ban me. :awesome:

Reply 7

Anonymous #3

Anonymous

Hey guys..

I'm feeling really lonely right now.. Well the thing is that when I joined uni last september, I had a sort of culture clash and ahd a hard time adapting and making friends...Then at the start of my second semester, I had got used to my new environment, and I made it a point to join some societies to meet new people..Well the truth is it never really worked out, I made some acquaintances through dance classes and badminton socials but that's it.

I don't really have a group of friends I hang out with, I just have a few acquaintances here and there.. I feel really lonely all the time and now that the first year is over, I'm worried I'm going to spend the next two years at uni feeling like that, always so lonely.. Any advice on how to make friends during my second year? :frown:

Im in the exact same boat, i feel exactly like this, apart from, im at the end of my second year. I have hundreds of acquaintances, but non of those i can call 'friends'. Dont get me wrong, i havent the greatest social skills, but im trying, i go all out there to try and talk to people and talk to my acquaintances, hopefully to further our relationship. When im not in uni, i spend the majority of my time alone, do things alone, go shopping alone, go to the cinema alone - all this to try and make me feel better, but just confirms my suspicions of being depressed, lonely and without any friends. I ******* hate it! All i want in life is to meet a couple of great friends and not have to be alone. I haven been out once this term, its bloody depressing! I want to go out and have fun, but all the people ive met ive always clashed with. Ive joined loads of clubs and societies, but with no avail, i just feel there is no helping the situation. Ive got to the point where i cant wait to finish uni to start over.

Reply 8

Anonymous #4

i'm in esentially the same situation, which is why i've signed up to be in halls again next year in the hope that i'll ge along better with some of the random freshers i get stuck with.

Reply 9

bradburyj

12

Where are you going to live next year?

if you dont have anywhere sorted then look for flats that already have 3 people and have an extra room where there looking for a flat mate,

go for one of them and just be casual and nice to them all and there you go 3 friends straight away

Reply 10

The Procrastinator

15

Same here but it's hard for me because I don't live on campus. From this thread you can see you're not alone :smile:

Reply 11

BeautifullyTragic

13

Having acquaintances is a good start - do what hothead suggested and make the effort to go out, whether in a group or just you and 1 other person shopping. Making friends is all about wanting to get to know someone better.

Reply 12

x.Crystal.x

2

bradburyj

Where are you going to live next year?

if you dont have anywhere sorted then look for flats that already have 3 people and have an extra room where there looking for a flat mate,

go for one of them and just be casual and nice to them all and there you go 3 friends straight away

I did that this year. Yeah... it didnt work out too good! :s-smilie:

But next year im moving into a flat with 14 other people. I have my fingers crossed that it will work out, theres got to be a couple out of that 14 who i click with.

Reply 13

Anonymous #1

OP

Thanks for all the input. I'm not allowed to live in halls again next year so I'm going to rent a flat with 3 other people whom I met in classes. They're nice and and friendly but we don't hang out anymore as they too already have their own friends and it's very hard to mix with them (language problems! they're both international students and their friends are people from their own country so they prefer to speak their own language when they're with their group of friends). I don't blame them at all, if i'm the minority I don't see why they should make an effort to include me.

Anyway, the point is, I won't be able to have close friends in the people I live with. To people who suggested joining clubs and socs, the thing is, I've tried to do that this semester but it didnt seem to work out. I can't seem to get closer to the people I've met there- I just meet them there and that's it. It's hard for me to suggest stuff like going for a drink together when they already have their own cliques in the society and I'm the 'tag-along'.

I feel stuck, but it does comfort me a bit that I'm not the only one with this sort of social issues.

Reply 14

Anonymous #1

OP

*sorry for the weird sentence constructions, I wrote this in a hurry and made quite a lot of mistakes :s

Reply 15

GodspeedGehenna

3

Same situation. Don't worry; its not as uncommon as you'd think!

Reply 16

Anonymous #1

OP

^Are you in your first year too?

Reply 17

Kevin J

15

Anonymous

Hey guys..

I'm feeling really lonely right now.. Well the thing is that when I joined uni last september, I had a sort of culture clash and ahd a hard time adapting and making friends...Then at the start of my second semester, I had got used to my new environment, and I made it a point to join some societies to meet new people..Well the truth is it never really worked out, I made some acquaintances through dance classes and badminton socials but that's it.

I don't really have a group of friends I hang out with, I just have a few acquaintances here and there.. I feel really lonely all the time and now that the first year is over, I'm worried I'm going to spend the next two years at uni feeling like that, always so lonely.. Any advice on how to make friends during my second year? :frown:

It's really as easy and as simple as over hearing one of the acquaintances talking about going out somewhere and you drop the line "oh, I haven't been there before is there any chance I can come along?" They will either make an excuse or BAM you're in.