The Student Room Group

Why I'm turning lesbian...

Why is it that the very nicest guys sometimes turn out to be complete morons?

:mad:

Some of you might remember me mentioning a guy at work who I'd been slightly involved with a couple of times (spent the night at his house, but didn't have sex). Anyway, I really liked him, but had kind of accepted that it wasn't going to happen, and so was ok just being his friend.

Last night we all went to my friends Simon and Leanne's house to play poker. Almost all of us there were people from work, and a couple of people brought their partners along, but there are a lot of couples within the office, so most people who were there either do or did work there. There was one girl there, Gemma, who is an old school friend of Leanne's and she's really the only person not involved with our office at all.

So we're all having a nice time, and I see Pete talking to Gemma quite a bit, but as soon as she got knocked out of the tournament, she went home, which was about 10 o'clock. Everyone else stayed until the end, which was about 2am, and I was staying over at Leanne's. Anyway, as Pete was going home, he went upstairs to get his stuff and asked me to come with him. When we were alone, he said, "You can come back with me and stay at ours, if you'd like to..."

I was tempted, but I didn't want to be rude to Leanne and Simon, and I think when you've agreed to stay at someone's house it's a bit rude to then go off and stay at someone else's house like you've got yourself a better offer. So I said, "No, it's ok thanks Pete, I'm staying here tonight."

Later on I sent him a text saying, "Thanks for offering and it would have been nice, but I didn't want to offend Leanne and Simon. Another time, maybe."

So once everyone had gone home, Simon and the other two guys who were staying started another game of poker and Leanne and I went upstairs to have a girlie chat. She told me she was quite surprised I'd not gone home with Pete, because she knew I liked him, and asked me whether he'd asked me to. I told her he had, but I'd decided to stay at hers.

She then said this:

"I'm glad you're staying here tonight, I'm really proud of you for saying no. I think Pete was quite interested in Gemma earlier. They were both supposed to be coming over for dinner last week, but it got cancelled. Anyway, when we were in the kitchen earlier he basically said he was kind of surprised that Gemma took off so early like that, and maybe he'd take you home instead. I've been trying to set him up with one of my friends for a while, and when it seemed like it wasn't going to happen between you two, I introduced him to Gemma. But he hasn't been straight with her either. He definitely hasn't told her that anything happened between you two. I'm going to tell her what he said tonight, because she quite likes him too, but I don't think she'll be interested any more once she finds out."

Then two hours later, I get a text back from him saying, "Katie, I know this might sound a bit sleazy, but if you'd like to come over this weekend, I have a free house until Sunday night. Tell me to push off if you want to, but if you'd like to, text me back."

Leanne told me to suggest I'd meet him in Winchester for a drink, and that way it'd be clear he wasn't getting any sex, so I replied as if I had no idea what he'd been suggesting. She said it would be a good opportunity for me to tell him what I thought.

He replied in the morning saying, "Yeah, that'd be cool. Let me know what time you'll get there and I'll come and meet you." But then an hour later, he sent me another message saying, "Sorry, I'm going to have to take that back, something's come up. Enjoy the long weekend and I'll see you Tuesday."

We were texting a bit more, turns out a friend called and asked him if he wanted to go do something, so obviously as he knew I wasn't going to sleep with him he'd got himself a better offer. We've arranged to meet for a drink after work next week, as I didn't let him know how angry I am, but I am going to tell him exactly how I feel.

I don't deserve to be treated like some cheap tart. :frown:

So I think it's self-love or girly love from now on...

I've had it with men. They only want one thing.

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Reply 1
susiemakemeblue
Why is it that the very nicest guys sometimes turn out to be complete morons?

:mad:

Some of you might remember me mentioning a guy at work who I'd been slightly involved with a couple of times (spent the night at his house, but didn't have sex). Anyway, I really liked him, but had kind of accepted that it wasn't going to happen, and so was ok just being his friend.

Last night we all went to my friends Simon and Leanne's house to play poker. Almost all of us there were people from work, and a couple of people brought their partners along, but there are a lot of couples within the office, so most people who were there either do or did work there. There was one girl there, Gemma, who is an old school friend of Leanne's and she's really the only person not involved with our office at all.

So we're all having a nice time, and I see Pete talking to Gemma quite a bit, but as soon as she got knocked out of the tournament, she went home, which was about 10 o'clock. Everyone else stayed until the end, which was about 2am, and I was staying over at Leanne's. Anyway, as Pete was going home, he went upstairs to get his stuff and asked me to come with him. When we were alone, he said, "You can come back with me and stay at ours, if you'd like to..."

I was tempted, but I didn't want to be rude to Leanne and Simon, and I think when you've agreed to stay at someone's house it's a bit rude to then go off and stay at someone else's house like you've got yourself a better offer. So I said, "No, it's ok thanks Pete, I'm staying here tonight."

Later on I sent him a text saying, "Thanks for offering and it would have been nice, but I didn't want to offend Leanne and Simon. Another time, maybe."

So once everyone had gone home, Simon and the other two guys who were staying started another game of poker and Leanne and I went upstairs to have a girlie chat. She told me she was quite surprised I'd not gone home with Pete, because she knew I liked him, and asked me whether he'd asked me to. I told her he had, but I'd decided to stay at hers.

She then said this:

"I'm glad you're staying here tonight, I'm really proud of you for saying no. I think Pete was quite interested in Gemma earlier. They were both supposed to be coming over for dinner last week, but it got cancelled. Anyway, when we were in the kitchen earlier he basically said he was kind of surprised that Gemma took off so early like that, and maybe he'd take you home instead. I've been trying to set him up with one of my friends for a while, and when it seemed like it wasn't going to happen between you two, I introduced him to Gemma. But he hasn't been straight with her either. He definitely hasn't told her that anything happened between you two. I'm going to tell her what he said tonight, because she quite likes him too, but I don't think she'll be interested any more once she finds out."

Then two hours later, I get a text back from him saying, "Katie, I know this might sound a bit sleazy, but if you'd like to come over this weekend, I have a free house until Sunday night. Tell me to push off if you want to, but if you'd like to, text me back."

Leanne told me to suggest I'd meet him in Winchester for a drink, and that way it'd be clear he wasn't getting any sex, so I replied as if I had no idea what he'd been suggesting. She said it would be a good opportunity for me to tell him what I thought.

He replied in the morning saying, "Yeah, that'd be cool. Let me know what time you'll get there and I'll come and meet you." But then an hour later, he sent me another message saying, "Sorry, I'm going to have to take that back, something's come up. Enjoy the long weekend and I'll see you Tuesday."

We were texting a bit more, turns out a friend called and asked him if he wanted to go do something, so obviously as he knew I wasn't going to sleep with him he'd got himself a better offer. We've arranged to meet for a drink after work next week, as I didn't let him know how angry I am, but I am going to tell him exactly how I feel.

I don't deserve to be treated like some cheap tart. :frown:

So I think it's self-love or girly love from now on...

I've had it with men. They only want one thing.


no dont think like that, youve had one bad experience, most of us are nice me thinks.
Reply 2

I agree with <3. He sounds like a bit of a prick which is a shame because there seemed to be some mutual attraction there. Its good you had a friend there to tell you what was going on and i think its good you're going to confront him about how you feel.

Incidentally, i'm not too far from Winchester so if you'd like a random stranger to come along and slap him and say something like "and thats for being such a bastard", then i'd be happy to :biggrin:
Hey, not all men are like that. But as you have found out, alot of men are players and are just in it for one thing :frown: He is going to feel so bad when he finds out you've got him sussed though :p: You go girl :biggrin: Give him what he deserves x
lessthanthree
That sounds like a pretty sad situation, but I think you've proven yourself to be strong and ultimately, very dignified. For that, I totally applaud you.

gruh. I guess right now you're just feeling a bit narked with men on the whole because of past experiences and this one in particular, but you've got to know that not all men are like that, and not all men see women as sex on tap.

I don't :wavey:


I think that smiley should be renamed :waveydavey:
bricktops
no dont think like that, youve had one bad experience, most of us are nice me thinks.


no, most are utter tw*ts...but there are a few good'uns! :smile:
Sarky

I agree with <3. He sounds like a bit of a prick which is a shame because there seemed to be some mutual attraction there. Its good you had a friend there to tell you what was going on and i think its good you're going to confront him about how you feel.

Incidentally, i'm not too far from Winchester so if you'd like a random stranger to come along and slap him and say something like "and thats for being such a bastard", then i'd be happy to :biggrin:


Haha, thank you Sarky....you're even closer to him than you think. Winchester is where we work, but he lives in Eastleigh.

It's just really annoying, because I totally didn't see this coming. He's always been so nice, and such a gentleman. We've always got on really well, and there is serious chemistry there. And to be honest, if I told him what I thought and he was sorry about it and started treating me better, I wouldn't hold a grudge, because stupidly, I still really do like him

But I need someone who wants me as much as I want him.
Reply 7
Babyshambles
no, most are utter tw*ts...but there are a few good'uns! :smile:

were not, the louder, rowdier, chavier ones are ***** but the rest are perfectly fine
susiemakemeblue
Haha, thank you Sarky....you're even closer to him than you think. Winchester is where we work, but he lives in Eastleigh.

It's just really annoying, because I totally didn't see this coming. He's always been so nice, and such a gentleman. We've always got on really well, and there is serious chemistry there. And to be honest, if I told him what I thought and he was sorry about it and started treating me better, I wouldn't hold a grudge, because stupidly, I still really do like him

But I need someone who wants me as much as I want him.


If he treated you, or any girl like that; no-matter how much you still like him don't get romantically involved. Leopards don't change their spots.
I'm not saying hold a grudge forever though, frieds is good :smile:
You will find someone who deserves you, just hang on till that guy comes and don't get too hurt along the way x luv lil_crazyflakes
Reply 9
Not all men are bas^ards.

And you women aint much better.
Yeah_butno
Not all men are bas^ards.

And you women aint much better.


Women don't tend to use people for sex
Reply 11
lil_crazyflakes
Women don't tend to use people for sex


yea but the problem with girls is that they play mind games, which for some reason i always lose, they never really tell you what they want and expect you to know, they want a bad boy, girls also use you for your money. These are all from my experience.
lil_crazyflakes
If he treated you, or any girl like that; no-matter how much you still like him don't get romantically involved. Leopards don't change their spots.
I'm not saying hold a grudge forever though, frieds is good :smile:
You will find someone who deserves you, just hang on till that guy comes and don't get too hurt along the way x luv lil_crazyflakes


But I liked him so much. He was literally, my perfect guy. It hurts.
bricktops
yea but the problem with girls is that they play mind games, which for some reason i always lose, they never really tell you what they want and expect you to know, they want a bad boy, girls also use you for your money. These are all from my experience.


your experience isn't enough to totally generalize like that!
bricktops
yea but the problem with girls is that they play mind games, which for some reason i always lose, they never really tell you what they want and expect you to know, they want a bad boy, girls also use you for your money. These are all from my experience.


Mind games isn't necessarily a girly thing. I don't play mind games at all. What you see is what you get, with me. I've never hurt anyone in my life. He was the one playing mind games.
Reply 15
lil_crazyflakes
Women don't tend to use people for sex


Youd be surprised.

I aint complaining though
bricktops
yea but the problem with girls is that they play mind games, which for some reason i always lose, they never really tell you what they want and expect you to know, they want a bad boy, girls also use you for your money. These are all from my experience.

They don't play 'mind games' as such, they just aren't as forward as men and may not say things straight out because they dont want to hurt you
susiemakemeblue
But I liked him so much. He was literally, my perfect guy. It hurts.

I know 'there are plenty more fish in the sea' sounds derogatory, but it really is true. Just think, if he can be like that, then it was only the surface that was perfect x
Reply 18
I know many men are total morons sometimes but not all of them.

Zain
I'm not so sure you know, even the one i :love: is a bit of an as*hole