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making friends - how?
I was ok in high school but recently im finding it impossible! I think its cause i appear inconfident but i am quite confident underneath i thnk its cause i look young and have a weird voice. For example i'l go to a lesson where theres people talking in groups who i haven't got to know (i only started in february) and after a while of standing on my own feeling stupid i'l go up to a group of girls and say 'hi do you know what time it is please' or 'when does the lesson end' to try and start a convo and they'l just answer me and carry on talking and i'l feel stupid and desperate asking them something else so i just go back to standing on my own lol!
Im not the outgoing type but still there are quiet confident people who have loadsa friends.
Also ive been attending a badminton club for 6 years now and there are only a few girls go who are about 5/6 years older than me but theyve been going for 11 years and know each other well and go to each others parties etc. Ive been speaking to them for years yet im not actually their 'friend'
The coach there says he thinks im weird (seriously lol) and they probably do to so im just embarrased all the time thinking im being judged so i keep quiet.
Ive turned out to be a right loser lol has anyone else been in this situation? Im in it all the time
Im not the outgoing type but still there are quiet confident people who have loadsa friends.
Also ive been attending a badminton club for 6 years now and there are only a few girls go who are about 5/6 years older than me but theyve been going for 11 years and know each other well and go to each others parties etc. Ive been speaking to them for years yet im not actually their 'friend'
The coach there says he thinks im weird (seriously lol) and they probably do to so im just embarrased all the time thinking im being judged so i keep quiet.
Ive turned out to be a right loser lol has anyone else been in this situation? Im in it all the time
Reply 1
i think u just need to find ur niche. badminton doesn't need to be ur only club, join another...or try to find situations where u aren't the only 'new kid'.
Reply 2
The trick is to actually make friends in the literal sense of building them from scratch. Watch a few Frankenstein films and build yourself a lab that looks like the ones you see in those, then just go out and start picking out bodyparts from your local graveyard. Before you know it you'll have a whole legion of slightly decayed friends.
Ferret_messiah
The trick is to actually make friends in the literal sense of building them from scratch. Watch a few Frankenstein films and build yourself a lab that looks like the ones you see in those, then just go out and start picking out bodyparts from your local graveyard. Before you know it you'll have a whole legion of slightly decayed friends.
lol! better than nothin
xbellax
i think u just need to find ur niche. badminton doesn't need to be ur only club, join another...or try to find situations where u aren't the only 'new kid'.
Ive joined quite a few but the thing is they turn out to be people i just talk to at the very most, i dont actually make friends
from personal experience high schools often seem jam packed with people that are dull, not everyone of course! Although when I was at school there were so many people so far up themselv... Have you tried talking to other people that don't appear to be with a group I often seem to find I have things in common with these people. You could always invite the people from your badminton club out and do a bit of general socialising, just go out and have a good time, do some bonding! Or alternativly do some of those wierd exercise were a group of people have to get accross a paddling pool using only a piece of string and a brick, these often create firm friendships.
shazzam
from personal experience high schools often seem jam packed with people that are dull, not everyone of course! Although when I was at school there were so many people so far up themselv... Have you tried talking to other people that don't appear to be with a group I often seem to find I have things in common with these people. You could always invite the people from your badminton club out and do a bit of general socialising, just go out and have a good time, do some bonding! Or alternativly do some of those wierd exercise were a group of people have to get accross a paddling pool using only a piece of string and a brick, these often create firm friendships.
im not high school its uni lol. I cant really ask ppl from badminton since they just wouldnt expect it they go with people they know anyway. I do sometimes talk to other 'loners' lol if i see them thats the only way it works since they are probably desperate to make friends too.
Its just no one seems to be alone apart from me i mean they all make friends easily dunno how
alio~
im not high school its uni lol. I cant really ask ppl from badminton since they just wouldnt expect it they go with people they know anyway. I do sometimes talk to other 'loners' lol if i see them thats the only way it works since they are probably desperate to make friends too.
Its just no one seems to be alone apart from me i mean they all make friends easily dunno how
Its just no one seems to be alone apart from me i mean they all make friends easily dunno how
how about joining a society other than a sporty one, I'm not sure.. debating or something? Surely once you got talking about an issue conversation would flow and things would go from there? I'm not in uni so I guess I'm not much help.
Reply 8
Well, first you need a lab, then a brain...
Reply 9
Bribe them with sweeties 
alio~
I was ok in high school but recently im finding it impossible! I think its cause i appear inconfident but i am quite confident underneath i thnk its cause i look young and have a weird voice. For example i'l go to a lesson where theres people talking in groups who i haven't got to know (i only started in february) and after a while of standing on my own feeling stupid i'l go up to a group of girls and say 'hi do you know what time it is please' or 'when does the lesson end' to try and start a convo and they'l just answer me and carry on talking and i'l feel stupid and desperate asking them something else so i just go back to standing on my own lol!
Im not the outgoing type but still there are quiet confident people who have loadsa friends.
Also ive been attending a badminton club for 6 years now and there are only a few girls go who are about 5/6 years older than me but theyve been going for 11 years and know each other well and go to each others parties etc. Ive been speaking to them for years yet im not actually their 'friend'
The coach there says he thinks im weird (seriously lol) and they probably do to so im just embarrased all the time thinking im being judged so i keep quiet.
Ive turned out to be a right loser lol has anyone else been in this situation? Im in it all the time
Im not the outgoing type but still there are quiet confident people who have loadsa friends.
Also ive been attending a badminton club for 6 years now and there are only a few girls go who are about 5/6 years older than me but theyve been going for 11 years and know each other well and go to each others parties etc. Ive been speaking to them for years yet im not actually their 'friend'
The coach there says he thinks im weird (seriously lol) and they probably do to so im just embarrased all the time thinking im being judged so i keep quiet.
Ive turned out to be a right loser lol has anyone else been in this situation? Im in it all the time
Ur not a loser. Try and pick out people who arnt completly set in a tight nit group. I had the same problem but i started hanging out with these people (in particular room in college) and gradually started talking to them and adventually became friends with most. Their the best kind of people, willing to accept anyone whos friendly to be their friend. Being majorly friendly, maybe even complimenting people helps. Good luck
and most of the time people dont think "what you think they think" about you. except for the coach.. Id kick him..and tw*t his face.(what a civilized approach)
just be yourself...u'll be ok. and dont like force u self to be friends wi someone.
i dunno but i found friendship a bit different in the uk (only a little little bit..end o day we're all humans)..i mean i have loads of friends here but like back in turkey i dunno i know people that i can trust as my bro or sis. anyway. just be yourself n you'll be reyt
just be yourself...u'll be ok. and dont like force u self to be friends wi someone.
i dunno but i found friendship a bit different in the uk (only a little little bit..end o day we're all humans)..i mean i have loads of friends here but like back in turkey i dunno i know people that i can trust as my bro or sis. anyway. just be yourself n you'll be reyt
alio~
The coach there says he thinks im weird (seriously lol) and they probably do to so im just embarrased all the time thinking im being judged so i keep quiet.
Ive turned out to be a right loser lol has anyone else been in this situation? Im in it all the time
The coach there says he thinks im weird (seriously lol) and they probably do to so im just embarrased all the time thinking im being judged so i keep quiet.
Ive turned out to be a right loser lol has anyone else been in this situation? Im in it all the time
you're not the only wierd one around here...
just don't take it seriously
alio~
im not high school its uni lol. I cant really ask ppl from badminton since they just wouldnt expect it they go with people they know anyway. I do sometimes talk to other 'loners' lol if i see them thats the only way it works since they are probably desperate to make friends too.
Its just no one seems to be alone apart from me i mean they all make friends easily dunno how
Its just no one seems to be alone apart from me i mean they all make friends easily dunno how
I try to talk to other loners too, but the problem with that is we don't trust one another. They don't seem to be very friendly.
The problem with my uni is that everyone is TOO friendly. It's annoying and it hurts when I find out they talk about me and other people behind our backs.
Reply 14
Ive turned out to be a right loser lol has anyone else been in this situation? Im in it all the time
Yeah, I find it difficult making friends too, and keeping them for that matter. It seems I'm okish talking to strangers, but then I get bored and don't acknowledge them (e.g. by not saying goodbye when I leave the class) and most people find this antisocial.
I'm also very crap at talking to non-strangers, get nervous, stutter sometimes etc its very embarrassing. I have zero confidence with this whole making friends business, but we're fairly relaxed in my class at uni. Everyone talks to everyone else to discuss the work/swap answers, so thats nice in a way, certainly not a replacement for close friends, but its a start.
What course do you take alio? Don't you all discuss the work together?
black_mamba
Yeah, I find it difficult making friends too, and keeping them for that matter. It seems I'm okish talking to strangers, but then I get bored and don't acknowledge them (e.g. by not saying goodbye when I leave the class) and most people find this antisocial.
I'm also very crap at talking to non-strangers, get nervous, stutter sometimes etc its very embarrassing. I have zero confidence with this whole making friends business, but we're fairly relaxed in my class at uni. Everyone talks to everyone else to discuss the work/swap answers, so thats nice in a way, certainly not a replacement for close friends, but its a start.
What course do you take alio? Don't you all discuss the work together?
I'm also very crap at talking to non-strangers, get nervous, stutter sometimes etc its very embarrassing. I have zero confidence with this whole making friends business, but we're fairly relaxed in my class at uni. Everyone talks to everyone else to discuss the work/swap answers, so thats nice in a way, certainly not a replacement for close friends, but its a start.
What course do you take alio? Don't you all discuss the work together?
Thanks for the replies im doing sports science and psychology so am not with the same people all the time i suppose it doesn't help living at home though.
Yea thats what one of classes are like fairly small and everyone talks to one another but i just keep quiet cause it'd be embarrasing suddenly talking and joining in class discussions after keeping quiet for so long lol - then again they'l probably think im weird for sitting on my own and not speaking etc its ok for lads to be like this but with girls it seems a bit strange if u know what i mean lol
Reply 16
I generally have trouble making friends as well. So far its been the case that at new colleges and schools nearly everybody quickly finds thier own group of friends and I feel like I'm the only one outside of them.
I do talk to some people though, and when I make friends they are good ones. It just takes a while.
I do talk to some people though, and when I make friends they are good ones. It just takes a while.
Sometimes you just have to be bold and start talking to strangers, thats what I did.
In fact I remember on the first day of uni, we were all lining up to get our registration done etc. Since no-one really knew each other, most ppl standing in the line were quiet. I started talking to the person in front of me, started off really lame (I remember saying something on the lines of how long the queue was
) but we ended up talking for quite some time, then we started to talk to 3 ppl infront of us in the queue, and believe it or not these four ppl have been very good friends of mine through my 3 years at uni.
For me, It was really circumstancial, but you have to make an effort and start talking to ppl, no matter how lame it may seem at the time. Since then I think I have started to talk to nearly everyone I meet and by doing so, I have met and made friends with so many nice ppl whom I may have never known if it werent for me taking the first step and talking to them.
In fact I remember on the first day of uni, we were all lining up to get our registration done etc. Since no-one really knew each other, most ppl standing in the line were quiet. I started talking to the person in front of me, started off really lame (I remember saying something on the lines of how long the queue was
) but we ended up talking for quite some time, then we started to talk to 3 ppl infront of us in the queue, and believe it or not these four ppl have been very good friends of mine through my 3 years at uni. For me, It was really circumstancial, but you have to make an effort and start talking to ppl, no matter how lame it may seem at the time. Since then I think I have started to talk to nearly everyone I meet and by doing so, I have met and made friends with so many nice ppl whom I may have never known if it werent for me taking the first step and talking to them.
Reply 18
For me, It was really circumstancial, but you have to make an effort and start talking to ppl, no matter how lame it may seem at the time. Since then I think I have started to talk to nearly everyone I meet and by doing so, I have met and made friends with so many nice ppl whom I may have never known if it werent for me taking the first step and talking to them.
I've done this a LOT. I guess my personality is just so particular that I don't get on with the majority of people for very long.
it'd be embarrasing suddenly talking and joining in class discussions after keeping quiet for so long
I get that feeling too but I tend to join in when my classes are small (i.e. when less than 4 people turn up!!) but its so much harder when we're sitting with 30 other students. <--coward
its ok for lads to be like this but with girls it seems a bit strange if u know what i mean
Naa its the same for both genders.
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- How do I make friends?
- Clingy friend affecting me making new friendships
- bf in the closet and not coming out at all
- Not invited to go out with friends
- SOAS BA Japanese AMA
- Entering the new year with no friends
- friend is starting to make me feel uncomfortable
- Making friends as a postgraduate?
- how to make friends at university?
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