Right, this is going to be a confusing post. Right, now I have this boyfriend who quite controlling, he does not like me talking to men for fear I will ‘go off with them’. He checks my phone, and makes me delete blokes numbers from my phone. Right, and there’s this guy, I used to talk to, that he cannot stand, and who I am ‘never’ allowed to talk to. He made me block him on msn, and reads my chat logs to see if I’ve been speaking to him, he also makes me delete his numbers, and I’m never allowed to see him.
Right, so he has this other mate, one I cannot stand, and my bf knows I hate his mate. But he still goes to see him, and lies to me, saying he hasn’t been to see him, he still talks to him, and everything. Even though, I’m not allowed to talk to my mate. He said to me ‘if I want to see my mates, I will, no matter what you say’ which is fair enough, but when I said the same to him he said ‘oh, you’ll go off and leave me, I bet you fancy all those men, don’t you?’ then he started saying, I’m never allowed to go clubbing on my own in case I get drunk and go off with some bloke. He also said he wants a text from me saying where I’m going, whenever I am going somewhere he doesn’t know about. (eg. Up the shops to get milk)
And then if he finds out I went out, and didn’t text him, he gets all on edge saying ‘I bet you met some bloke, didn’t you’?
I just don’t’ feel it’s fair, that he can see his mate (who he knows I hate) he goes and see’s him, even though he knows I don’t like it. But yet, I can’t even talk to mine on msn. it’s like I’m being controlled. But my one friend, thinks I’m the one controlling him. Who Is being unreasonable here?
He is. Most definitely. He sounds incredibly possessive and pig-headed, not to mention controlling. He has NO right to tell you not to see people, or to control when/where you go out. Fair enough text him if you're off out clubbing, and perhaps when you get back, but expecting you to let him know your every movement is ridiculous.
I can't even begin to express my horror at his invasion of your privacy. Does he not trust or respect you one little bit? He needs to sort this out.
As long as you haven't done anything to him then yeah what he is doing is unfair. My girlfriend stayed over at this guys house last night and i know they have a history, i trust her not to have done anything but i am still very worried that she has cheated on me.
I got a text from this guys girlfriend this morning telling me that she had just caught them in the same bed. What do you think i should do?
He is. I have Pm'ed you cos I have experienced something similar. A bit long to put on here.
please please please get rid of this guy.... unless you think he can change, but it doesn't sound like it to me... you don't need people like this in your life
For the love of god- any god- stop it! It's like a bloody talk show. If your relationship makes you unhappy, end it. They are supposed to make you happy.
Hayley: You need to find out why he treats you like this. It could be that he let his last gf do whatever she wanted and she cheated on him or something. In that case you need to make him see that you are not her.
Either that or he has very low self esteem and does not believe he is worth being with you. That might also need some major work to convince him that you are not going to run off with some other bloke.
Mankyscot: You need to find out what actually happened. It could be perfectly innocent or the other guys gf could be lying. If it is true they might not have 'slept' together but could just have fallen to sleep next to each other. I have done that many times.
If she has cheated then you do have to think about getting rid of her. She obviously doesn't care about you despite what she may say. However if you can forgive her then do!!
I don't think it's good to come to any kind of conclusion simply from hearing the threadstarter's side of the story. Of course she's going to come out as the reasonable one.
But yes, I agree, if that really is the case then he is wrong.
Seriously Get rid of this guy, Hes no good for you. He doesnt own you, and You shouldnt let him. If he this unsecure in himself that he cant trust you to go out and repect you wont go off with anyone else, Hes the one who needs to sort his head out.
If you find yourself in a relationship asking yourself whether one of you is being or has been grossly unreasonable, you should not be in that relationship. Full stop.
A boyfriend is meant to support you, trust you, make you happy, be there for you (just like a girlfriend should) - and people who do none of these things deserve to be dumped so that they realise that other people will not tolerate this kind of behaviour.
Just for the record, I'd say exactly the same thing if the girl was being 'unreasonable'. However, often with these kinds of situations, it seems to be the girl that is being controlled, no one has to put up with this and letting someone control you is not doing them any favours either. End it!