you thinks it possible to ‘stay out of your bf’s personal life’

Ive just told my boyfriend, that I don’t want to be involved in his personal life. I can’t explain it, it’s like I’ll still be with him, but I don’t want be involved in his personal life outside of our relationship. Like I don’t want to know what he’s up to, and I don’t want constant texts asking what I’m up to. Do you think this is possible?

0

How old are u?

OP

md_red_uk

How old are u?

I'm 19

Reply 3

ruthiepoothie

11

Hayley_2k4

Ive just told my boyfriend, that I don’t want to be involved in his personal life. I can’t explain it, it’s like I’ll still be with him, but I don’t want be involved in his personal life outside of our relationship. Like I don’t want to know what he’s up to, and I don’t want constant texts asking what I’m up to. Do you think this is possible?

Surely if you love him then you will love all of him, and be interested in what he's doing and what he's interested in.

My ex-bf did do exactly what you're suggesting, and it was very hurtful and upset me a lot.

Ruthie xx

Reply 4

smiley1

Surely by entering a relationship with someone you are saying that you want to share time with them and it shouldn't matter whether its 'your' time or just hanging out together outside of that. I can understand that you don't want to be involved in all the same activities as him and you need to have a few different things that are your personal 'thing' and so does he, but I agree with ruthie that its a bit harsh. Also be careful when you say you don't want to know what he does with his free time, obviously I'm not saying anything personally about your guy but I know some guys might take that a little too literally. Good luck with finding the balance! :-)

Reply 5

Inverurie Jones

1

When you're in a relationship with someone you are their personal life.
Admittedly, that isn't always a good thing in a world of full of clingy weirdoes with mobile 'phones, but there you go...

Reply 6

Flicker

13

no, it's not possible. you sound very unsure about being with this guy, from reading your previous posts. he doesn't trust you and i don't think you can be in a relationship like that!

i think it's really important to be involved with each other's lives - of course you need to have your own friends and be independent but i couldn't be with my boyfriend if i didn't meet and know his friends and he mine. that's just how relationships work, you need to share everything! be hard to find things to talk about if you didn't want to know anything about hsi personal life!

Reply 7

kingslaw

14

Ermmm...you are his personal life if you're going out with him :confused:

Reply 8

pikaboo

13

Even friends like to know what each other's been up to. Seems to me if you don't want to get involved in his life like that then you're just using him for the physical stuff.

Reply 9

Mad_Monkey59

2

well if you are his g/f you are pretty much in his life... when you agree to go into a relationship its a prerequisite that you are part of his life, and he is a part of yours. Otherwise why would you become his g/f if you didnt want any commitment from him.

If its space you need then fine, but completely refusing to be part of his life apart from when you a) have sex b) go out, is a very immature attitude, and to be honest if he started cheating on you on the grounds that he didnt feel like he was in a relationship, or even was in an open relationship, it would be very tricky to blame him.

Reply 10

Adhsur

15

Inverurie Jones

When you're in a relationship with someone you are their personal life.

:dito:

Reply 11

SciFi25

1

That really wasn't the most clever thing you could have done. There is not being possesive and there is you. If my gf said that to me I would assume we were over because she didn't care about me at all.

Reply 12

Sophdoph

1

Just because you are in a relationship with somebody doesn't mean you lose out on being an individual in your own right. If you want to stay out of his other life then to a certain extent you can..like not texting each other all the time..but when you meet up surely you'd talk about what you'd both been up to etc?

Reply 13

magiccarpet

2

Hayley_2k4

Ive just told my boyfriend, that I don’t want to be involved in his personal life. I can’t explain it, it’s like I’ll still be with him, but I don’t want be involved in his personal life outside of our relationship. Like I don’t want to know what he’s up to, and I don’t want constant texts asking what I’m up to. Do you think this is possible?

i think its ok. i never involve any of my bfs/frinds in my personal life stuff like my family etc its private

Reply 14

Inverurie Jones

1

If a girlfriend (as opposed to casual squeeze) said she didn't want anything to do with my personal life, she'd pretty quickly find herself having nothing to do with my life at all.
This relationship is clearly broken beyond repair.

Reply 15

Butterfly

1

I think it's totally unreasonable!

Reply 16

saz_1989

2

how exactly do you mean that? like, do you just want to be able to have your own space and not have to constantly get texts off him, or are you simply not interested or dont care what he does apart from when he's with you? if it's the first, then talk to him. if it's the second, you'd be better off single, or having just a f*ck buddy.

i kinda know what you mean and i dont think it's unreasonable at all to want your own space and do your own thing and not be constantly harassed.

you thinks it possible to ‘stay out of your bf’s personal life’

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