ALthough i love my boyfriend very much and it's been almost a year we're together, i'm still not sure wether i would have been happier if i never lost my virginity. Growing up with 2 older brothers i could see the differences put between me & them. My parents would allow them to go out a lot more than me, they went to boarding school abroad(we were born and raised in europe anyway but they went abroad anyway), they were allowed to talk about having girlfriends. While i was the little precious girl that was "innocent." Of course i would always question all these things and my mom would be very nice about it and try to explain to me. But i was never satisfied with the answers but what could i do. My parents trusted me so much by sending me (finally) abroad for uni and i feel like i have betrayed their trust by having sex. The guilty feeling in me is absolutely awful and i think you should really think about that. Because no matter what, you're always going to have those conscious/or unconscious values you've been taught. I think the biggest problem for me, any many other muslim girls is that sex is never talked about. It's just one of those "silent" rules where you don't mention it, EVER. it's shameful. If i had been taught about it i think i would have kept my virginity just like my parents wanted it....and the point is not to do what your parents want but especially in islamic circles i think the emphasis on respecting your parents upbringings and applying the values they have tried to raise you with is essential. If you don't, you might have to live with a sense of guilt...So I'm rather confused. Im still trying to decide wether i had sex because i wanted to or it was merely a rebellious act. One thing i can tell you is that i am so sick of people judging girls when in fact its all the parents' fault for the wrong upbringing. Double standards, hypocrites, its disgusting....