is my mother a *****? Watch

Anonymous #1
#1
Report Thread starter 9 years ago
#1
Over lunch with my mum I was complaining about the number of birthdays that are coming up (including hers) and going to leave me with no money for myself. My mum told me that's how it is and I said something along the lines of "what? so I have to suffer to make other people happy?" and she replied "Well I've suffered since the day I found out I was pregnant." I was stunned and sat and ate the rest of my lunch in silence while she carried on chatting away to me quite happily. I went upstairs and just broke down in tears because frankly, what she said really cut deep. She walks past my room and asks what's wrong and when I explain she starts shouting at me saying I'm pathetic, can't take a joke and need to get a grip. Is she right? Am I being stupid? Or was that a horrible thing for a mother to say to her child?
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BullsOnParade
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#2
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#2
ive heared worse. Are you sure she didnt just mean financially?
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Devil's Advocate
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#3
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lol obvious joke is obvious.

She didnt mean anything by it. Just a joke.
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Oladz
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#4
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Over lunch with my mum I was complaining about the number of birthdays that are coming up (including hers) and going to leave me with no money for myself. My mum told me that's how it is and I said something along the lines of "what? so I have to suffer to make other people happy?" and she replied "Well I've suffered since the day I found out I was pregnant." I was stunned and sat and ate the rest of my lunch in silence while she carried on chatting away to me quite happily. I went upstairs and just broke down in tears because frankly, what she said really cut deep. She walks past my room and asks what's wrong and when I explain she starts shouting at me saying I'm pathetic, can't take a joke and need to get a grip. Is she right? Am I being stupid? Or was that a horrible thing for a mother to say to her child?
Yeah, that certainly is harsh of her.
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King4eva
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#5
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nope ......she just means you have been a ***** of a child
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carrotboy
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#6
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i think she probably meant it in the context of having to shell out for your birthdays... not that shes suffered due to you as a person or having you as a child
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Mushaboom
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#7
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No mothers always say things like that, don't take it personally
I can see why they would - I mean we are a complete drain on their lives since the day we were born, financially, socially ... EVERYTHING!
My Mum's always saying about how different her life would be if she hadn't had children! But she doesn't really mean it to cause offense, don't take everything so seriously
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xmarilynx
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#8
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If you begrudge your mum a birthday present, no wonder she's been suffering since you were born! I think you're the ***** OP!
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obscurename
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#9
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It was a joke, you overreacted.
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Terry Acky
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#10
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YOU WAS AN ACCIDENT!!!! only joking, probably a joke, or if it wasnt a joke, she might ment it another way, like you can be annoying sometimes.
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shorty.loves.angels
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#11
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Aww come on having kids is expensive and hard work and I'm sure that's all she was trying to get at by just comparing it to a few birthdays. My mum is similar, she says things which she means as a joke but they come across really harsh and I get told off getting upset :rolleyes:

Maybe just explain that you feel like you can't make everyone happy and you don't want them to feel like you've not put in the effort when really it's because you're not exactly rich at the moment.

You shuld ask her what she would do, that might put it into perspective for both of you... If I were you I would prioritise, family comes first, closer family before distant family and I'm sure any friends who have birthdays will understand and perhaps look forward to you treating them maybe later on in the year? That's what me and my skint friends do Try not to get upset x
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Antimatter
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#12
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I think youre a little ungrateful, tbh.
You expect gifts, you buy the gifts! If that fails, make them instead?
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FloraMidgley
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Sorry to break it to you babes, but you're an accident. The condom split and you're mother's still frustrated with you because of it.

Here, here. :console:
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Vokes
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#14
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She probably meant is as a joke, but tbh its pretty true. Doesn't mean she doesnt love you or would have it any otherway tho.

When you have kids, you sacrafice alot of the things you like if you want to be a good parent. You cant go out anywhere near as much, you have less money, if its a choice between you getting something and your kid getting something you will normally go without.

Thats what part of being mature is, knowing its worth sacraficing something you want for someone else.

If you mean suffer as in you wont be able to eat then no you shouldnt get her a present.
However if (and tbh more likely that) you wont be able to go out this week with your mates or buysomething you want, then yes sacraficing it is worth making her happy for all the years that she made sacrafices for you. That's just my opinion ofc.
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menaa-x
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#15
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#15
Over reacted, OP over reacted much?
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Skadoosh
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#16
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#16
Yes.








Sorry, I didn't read it.
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Anonymous #1
#17
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It's not so much the comment that upset me, it's the way she reacted to me getting upset by it. If I said something to my friend in jest and it upset them, I wouldn't shout at them for not being able to take a joke. I'd apologise for not realising it would hurt them. I don't see why she couldn't do the same.
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punktopia
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#18
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#18
You're both terrible people. Suffer? Suffer? There's people starving to death and you're suffering because you don't have money to buy new shoes for a few weeks? Get a grip.
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XDaydreamer
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#19
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#19
(Original post by carrotboy)
i think she probably meant it in the context of having to shell out for your birthdays... not that shes suffered due to you as a person or having you as a child
yepp, this, don't take it to heart OP! It's a bit horrible to shout at you though if you were clearly upset, maybe she felt guilty.
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Jelkin
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#20
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She was joking. Her reaction was pretty extreme, but think about it this way: she has looked after you your entire life, spent an obscene amount of money on making you happy and probably sacrificed a LOT of her own personal freedoms, her time and even her looks in the process. She makes a little joke about it over lunch and then you completely overreact and act as though she's a horrible person/terrible mother for making the joke. She was probably a little annoyed at how ungrateful you seemed.
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