I get seriously obsessed with people - Why am I like this and how can I get better?

hmmm...that's interesting. I wouldn't have linked them either but like I said earlier I get obsessive over people, my dad died when I was 10. Maybe a link?

MUST be kept anon or deleted, thanks.

Ok, don't be too freaked out by this, some parts are weird.

I never realised how bad I was, until recently when I entered a relationship with someone I liked. I always knew since I was young that I had issues with getting obsessed with people. I don't mean just liking someone, but falling madly in love with them, regardless of their gender, and having a desire to know more and more about them, to be part of their lives, to grab their attention and to control them so they noticed me.

There have been numerous times when this happened, growing up - I would become obsessed with other people my age, and want to be them, want to have their lives, and disregard my own. Then there were some bad cases, where I may have seen someone perhaps on holiday, spotted them, never made contact, but followed their moves, checked where they were, if they had noticed me - then it would take me months to get over them. They would occupy my thoughts all the time, to the point that concentration became difficult - and this was at the age of only 15 - on this particular occasion, after I got home from holiday, I became so overwhelmed with obsession over the target, that I rang the hotel pretending to be a family member of the target to try and get the family name (I worked out my target's first name) and then try to track down their address and home number...

Now I am 20, and started seeing someone a few months ago on and off...I quickly became badly obsessed with them, I developed a tunnel vision where my every thought was them. I could not bring myself to revise for my university exams because this person occupied my thoughts so much, I wanted to know EVERYTHING about them, their whereabouts, and would often feel overwhelmed when they showed interest me. Despite the fact we have had sex and see eachother regularly, I still feel a burning desire to want to control them and force them to love me as much as I love and am obsessed with them. It's so overwhelming, at times it has made me emotional, which is rare for me, and I have found it difficult to function normally on a social level.

None of my friends know about my problem - I am just normal to them. But behind this verneer of confidence and sureness, I am a deeply sad and troubled person, I know this. I am just DESPERATE for the person I am in love with to love me the same way and to return the passion and obsession I have for them. They are never out of my thoughts.

I feel like I am slowly losing my grip over them - they are becomign distant and their texts/messages to me have become increasingly erratic and unpredictable.

Part of me wants me to force myself to just end it - but the thought of doing so makes me want to cry and curl up and die. I can't let go of this person; after so many obsessions with people, finally someone is at least partially interested in me! But I am leaving this town next month for good and will be leaving them behind and I'm not really even in a relationship with them- we're just seeing eachother.

How can I get better? I just have this crushing feeling that my obsessive problem with people is going to haunt and follow me for the rest of my life. I don't want to feel like this forever.

I also have no idea of the cause for my behaviour - why am I like this? I have a feeling it may have something to do with being socially rejected a LOT when I was a young child, and constantly feeling worthless and inferior to other children. I also experienced the traumatic and sudden death of a best friend and soulmate at the age of 15.