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My boyfriend is closer with his (girl) friend than me
First of all, he's not cheating on me, she's not his type and she has a boyfriend
I'm not usually a jealous person and I don't resent the girl or anything but it actually saddens me so much how close my boyfriend is to one of his friends. He talks to her all the time, probably sees her more than me and they just seem to have a connection that we don't have. I hate it and it's driving me away from our relationship, I just want to be his number one, at least sometimes
We've been together over a year now and I've tried to get used to it but it's so hard, I hate myself for feeling like this because I know that if the girl was a boy, there would be no problem
i just don't know what to do, any advice would be appreciated
I'm not usually a jealous person and I don't resent the girl or anything but it actually saddens me so much how close my boyfriend is to one of his friends. He talks to her all the time, probably sees her more than me and they just seem to have a connection that we don't have. I hate it and it's driving me away from our relationship, I just want to be his number one, at least sometimes
We've been together over a year now and I've tried to get used to it but it's so hard, I hate myself for feeling like this because I know that if the girl was a boy, there would be no problemi just don't know what to do, any advice would be appreciated
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*hugs*
Tell him how you feel - he obviously doesn't realise how its making you feel.
Tell him how you feel - he obviously doesn't realise how its making you feel.
d.b.asf
Have you explained how you feel to your boyf?
No, I just told him that I feel more like a friend than a girlfriend
It's hard for me to just come out with that tbh, I wouldn't want anyone telling me how to be with my friends so it's probably not right I tell him either
Sigh, I think I should just end it
Anonymous
First of all, he's not cheating on me, she's not his type and she has a boyfriend
I didn't read the rest. There is no problem.
How long has he known that girl for? I mean, if she's an old friend of his, it's normal. Maybe they just have a really good connection, that you guys haven't developed yet. This doesn't mean it's a more-than-a-friend relationship, simply they get on great.
I can understand why you're stressed about it, but you shouldn't be. Just because he spends more time with her, it doesn't mean he prefers her. Maybe he just has more reasons to see her (eg. they go to kickboxing together or something)
I can understand why you're stressed about it, but you shouldn't be. Just because he spends more time with her, it doesn't mean he prefers her. Maybe he just has more reasons to see her (eg. they go to kickboxing together or something)
I have this at the moment, but I think he actually likes her. A few other people have seen it too, but I don't know.
I know how you feel, and it is horrible, but he's with you for a reason, right? And she's got a boyfriend, so nothing will happen. I feel jealous of their connection all the time because I feel like I can't provide that for him. I'm trying to tell myself I'm being irrational because I don't want him to feel as though I don't trust him. Is this the same with you?
I supppose if it's driving you away then... maybe you should end it. It's not fair to either of you. But like a previous poster said, talk to him. It'll be hard but (here comes the cliche) nothing worth having is easy to get. If you ever need to talk, because I understand completely, then feel free to PM me. I recommend talking to him and then making a decision from then on. But I also think he's with you for a reason.
I know how you feel, and it is horrible, but he's with you for a reason, right? And she's got a boyfriend, so nothing will happen. I feel jealous of their connection all the time because I feel like I can't provide that for him. I'm trying to tell myself I'm being irrational because I don't want him to feel as though I don't trust him. Is this the same with you?
I supppose if it's driving you away then... maybe you should end it. It's not fair to either of you. But like a previous poster said, talk to him. It'll be hard but (here comes the cliche) nothing worth having is easy to get. If you ever need to talk, because I understand completely, then feel free to PM me. I recommend talking to him and then making a decision from then on. But I also think he's with you for a reason.
Anonymous
No, I just told him that I feel more like a friend than a girlfriend
It's hard for me to just come out with that tbh, I wouldn't want anyone telling me how to be with my friends so it's probably not right I tell him either
Sigh, I think I should just end it
It's hard for me to just come out with that tbh, I wouldn't want anyone telling me how to be with my friends so it's probably not right I tell him either
Sigh, I think I should just end it
That's quite admirable. He would deserve an honest explanation if you did break up with him though, so you may as well tell him the truth without breaking up? I think that makes sense.....
I've been in a bit of a similar situation, though I think for me it was more that I imagined he liked his other (girl)friends better than me when it probably wasn't the case. Do you think jealousy might be clouding your vision?
If you haven't got strong compatibility and you don't feel close to him they're very good reasons to end something, but ask yourself if that is the case or if it's just jealousy. I think you need to do something though, either tell him or end it.
Don't end it, unless there are other problems but this on its own isn't enough.
I mean you shouldn't ask him to stop seeing his friend or anything because that would upset them both and probably drive you two further apart, but tell him how you feel. Is the actual problem the fact you don't see him much and don't feel as important to him, or is it just you think he values the other girl more?
If it's the first one (sorry I might not be being very clear), tell him that you feel like he doesn't see you much and sometimes you don't feel close to him (or whatever the problem is) without mentioningthe girl. I think if you mention his friend he could get defensive and feel you are accusing him, so unless she is the actual problem, keep her out of it.
I mean you shouldn't ask him to stop seeing his friend or anything because that would upset them both and probably drive you two further apart, but tell him how you feel. Is the actual problem the fact you don't see him much and don't feel as important to him, or is it just you think he values the other girl more?
If it's the first one (sorry I might not be being very clear), tell him that you feel like he doesn't see you much and sometimes you don't feel close to him (or whatever the problem is) without mentioningthe girl. I think if you mention his friend he could get defensive and feel you are accusing him, so unless she is the actual problem, keep her out of it.
Anonymous
First of all, he's not cheating on me, she's not his type and she has a boyfriend
I'm not usually a jealous person and I don't resent the girl or anything but it actually saddens me so much how close my boyfriend is to one of his friends. He talks to her all the time, probably sees her more than me and they just seem to have a connection that we don't have. I hate it and it's driving me away from our relationship, I just want to be his number one, at least sometimes We've been together over a year now and I've tried to get used to it but it's so hard, I hate myself for feeling like this because I know that if the girl was a boy, there would be no problem
i just don't know what to do, any advice would be appreciated
I'm not usually a jealous person and I don't resent the girl or anything but it actually saddens me so much how close my boyfriend is to one of his friends. He talks to her all the time, probably sees her more than me and they just seem to have a connection that we don't have. I hate it and it's driving me away from our relationship, I just want to be his number one, at least sometimes
We've been together over a year now and I've tried to get used to it but it's so hard, I hate myself for feeling like this because I know that if the girl was a boy, there would be no problemi just don't know what to do, any advice would be appreciated
Just let him be, he's happy.
If he's joking with her and doesn't joke with you then he's feeling smothered by you. Stop nagging and let him be free.
FuzzySheep
I have this at the moment, but I think he actually likes her. A few other people have seen it too, but I don't know.
I know how you feel, and it is horrible, but he's with you for a reason, right? And she's got a boyfriend, so nothing will happen. I feel jealous of their connection all the time because I feel like I can't provide that for him. I'm trying to tell myself I'm being irrational because I don't want him to feel as though I don't trust him. Is this the same with you?
I supppose if it's driving you away then... maybe you should end it. It's not fair to either of you. But like a previous poster said, talk to him. It'll be hard but (here comes the cliche) nothing worth having is easy to get. If you ever need to talk, because I understand completely, then feel free to PM me. I recommend talking to him and then making a decision from then on. But I also think he's with you for a reason.
I know how you feel, and it is horrible, but he's with you for a reason, right? And she's got a boyfriend, so nothing will happen. I feel jealous of their connection all the time because I feel like I can't provide that for him. I'm trying to tell myself I'm being irrational because I don't want him to feel as though I don't trust him. Is this the same with you?
I supppose if it's driving you away then... maybe you should end it. It's not fair to either of you. But like a previous poster said, talk to him. It'll be hard but (here comes the cliche) nothing worth having is easy to get. If you ever need to talk, because I understand completely, then feel free to PM me. I recommend talking to him and then making a decision from then on. But I also think he's with you for a reason.
Thanks so much, I'm glad someone understands and yes, I defo tell myself I'm being irrational, I do trust him but I just can't face the fact he wants to be with and talk more with her than me. I'm annoying myself because I'm making myself feel bad. By the way I've known her longer than he has x
I'm in this situation- except I'm the friend. His girlfriend tried to make him stop speaking to me, but he wasn't having any of it, & got really angry with her & dumped her.
Now, there's no way me & him could ever be together, but yes, we do have an amazing connection!
I think you just have to accept that.. if you ask him to stop spending as much time with her to spend time with you, it won't go down well trust me. Or, if he doesn't mind, and does stop spending as much time with her, then it isn't fair on her.
Now, there's no way me & him could ever be together, but yes, we do have an amazing connection!
I think you just have to accept that.. if you ask him to stop spending as much time with her to spend time with you, it won't go down well trust me. Or, if he doesn't mind, and does stop spending as much time with her, then it isn't fair on her.
cats_have_teats
That's quite admirable. He would deserve an honest explanation if you did break up with him though, so you may as well tell him the truth without breaking up? I think that makes sense.....
I've been in a bit of a similar situation, though I think for me it was more that I imagined he liked his other (girl)friends better than me when it probably wasn't the case. Do you think jealousy might be clouding your vision?
If you haven't got strong compatibility and you don't feel close to him they're very good reasons to end something, but ask yourself if that is the case or if it's just jealousy. I think you need to do something though, either tell him or end it.
I've been in a bit of a similar situation, though I think for me it was more that I imagined he liked his other (girl)friends better than me when it probably wasn't the case. Do you think jealousy might be clouding your vision?
If you haven't got strong compatibility and you don't feel close to him they're very good reasons to end something, but ask yourself if that is the case or if it's just jealousy. I think you need to do something though, either tell him or end it.
Thanks for the advice, It's most probable that I'm jealous of their friendship right now I'm thinking the best thing for the both of us is to end it, but he still says he wants to be with me
I guess I should start thinking about myself thoughGemma :)!
I'm in this situation- except I'm the friend. His girlfriend tried to make him stop speaking to me, but he wasn't having any of it, & got really angry with her & dumped her.
Now, there's no way me & him could ever be together, but yes, we do have an amazing connection!
I think you just have to accept that.. if you ask him to stop spending as much time with her to spend time with you, it won't go down well trust me. Or, if he doesn't mind, and does stop spending as much time with her, then it isn't fair on her.
Now, there's no way me & him could ever be together, but yes, we do have an amazing connection!
I think you just have to accept that.. if you ask him to stop spending as much time with her to spend time with you, it won't go down well trust me. Or, if he doesn't mind, and does stop spending as much time with her, then it isn't fair on her.
Thanks for posting, I would never tell my boyfriend to stop talking to his friend, like I said in a earlier post, I wouldn't want anyone telling me who I can and can't be friends with. I know I have no right to tell him, which is holding me back from telling him the real reason I feel unhappy about our relationship
Anonymous
First of all, he's not cheating on me, she's not his type and she has a boyfriend
I'm not usually a jealous person and I don't resent the girl or anything but it actually saddens me so much how close my boyfriend is to one of his friends. He talks to her all the time, probably sees her more than me and they just seem to have a connection that we don't have. I hate it and it's driving me away from our relationship, I just want to be his number one, at least sometimes We've been together over a year now and I've tried to get used to it but it's so hard, I hate myself for feeling like this because I know that if the girl was a boy, there would be no problem
i just don't know what to do, any advice would be appreciated
I'm not usually a jealous person and I don't resent the girl or anything but it actually saddens me so much how close my boyfriend is to one of his friends. He talks to her all the time, probably sees her more than me and they just seem to have a connection that we don't have. I hate it and it's driving me away from our relationship, I just want to be his number one, at least sometimes
We've been together over a year now and I've tried to get used to it but it's so hard, I hate myself for feeling like this because I know that if the girl was a boy, there would be no problemi just don't know what to do, any advice would be appreciated
Like other people said, tell him in the most honest and blunt way possible that him being closer to her than you makes you feel like you're a second class citizen to him, and that it's really messing with yuor self esteem. Then see what he says and does. If he is not willing to put you first as his girlfriend, then the only option is to dump him really, before you completely lose all your self esteem.
EDIT: not that he should stop talking to her or anything, but he should simply pay more attention to his girlfriend, and make an effort to be clsoer with you than her, then there's not much that can be done
I have a situation like this at the moment, but, like the person a few above, I'm good friends with a boy who has a girlfriend.
His girlfriend seems very different to you, mind, but she's made me feel very uncomfortable by accusing me of acting guilty around her, telling my other friends that she has a problem with me and being openly resentful of any time that me and her boyfriend spend together, even though we share 3 classes, have similar career interests and go to many of the same extra-curricular activities. I am confident that I have done nothing to indicate that I am interested in a closer relationship with him.
It hasn't really been resolved as of yet, I have just learnt to let them have as much space as his girlfriend needs, which isn't an ideal situation.
What might be helpful to you, is that I would hate for him and his girlfriend to split up, they've been together for a long time and are in love - as much as she seems to dislike me, I like to see them together. So if this is the only problem in your relationship then I don't think you should end it, but do what you think is best because no-one on here knows the full situation except you.
His girlfriend seems very different to you, mind, but she's made me feel very uncomfortable by accusing me of acting guilty around her, telling my other friends that she has a problem with me and being openly resentful of any time that me and her boyfriend spend together, even though we share 3 classes, have similar career interests and go to many of the same extra-curricular activities. I am confident that I have done nothing to indicate that I am interested in a closer relationship with him.
It hasn't really been resolved as of yet, I have just learnt to let them have as much space as his girlfriend needs, which isn't an ideal situation.
What might be helpful to you, is that I would hate for him and his girlfriend to split up, they've been together for a long time and are in love - as much as she seems to dislike me, I like to see them together. So if this is the only problem in your relationship then I don't think you should end it, but do what you think is best because no-one on here knows the full situation except you.
Don't end it. I can understand how you feel but like you say, it's completely irrational, and I think given time and effort, it can be worked past.
Talk to your boyfriend. You should never ask him to stop talking to her, but maybe tell him you'd also like to have the same amount of closeness they share. The idea of boyfriend/girlfriend also incorporates being each other's best friend, and in the long-run, dependency on each other - so he should try to make that side of your relationship stronger too.
I've been in situation where I really thought I would never work past something (different issue, but similar feelings), however, after a lot of talking and reassuring and effort on both our parts, I can happily say that the issue hardly exists at all now Don't give up so easily, a strong relationship is one where problems can be worked past.
Talk to your boyfriend. You should never ask him to stop talking to her, but maybe tell him you'd also like to have the same amount of closeness they share. The idea of boyfriend/girlfriend also incorporates being each other's best friend, and in the long-run, dependency on each other - so he should try to make that side of your relationship stronger too.
I've been in situation where I really thought I would never work past something (different issue, but similar feelings), however, after a lot of talking and reassuring and effort on both our parts, I can happily say that the issue hardly exists at all now
Don't give up so easily, a strong relationship is one where problems can be worked past.
I've had this problem- its so horrible not to feel No.1 when in a long-term relationship Having said that, our relationship lasted three years and all through those years she was always, in his eyes, better than me, more fun than me, he'd rather spend more time with her than me. He used to flirt with her more than me and seemed more interested in what she had to say. I'm not a jealous person either but it does really hit on your self-esteem hard if he's acting like that over and over again.
Try talking to him about it. Things might work out, they might not. It depends on what their relationship is like, and how you feel about it, and how he treats you. If its a touchy-feely flirty friendship and it bothers you, it will always be there in the back of your mind no matter how much you ignore it. If its purely platonic and they don't hold hands/flirt/dance together/act like a couple then it's probably just a problem that will blow over, and he just needs to pay you a bit more attention.
For my old relationship it was always a problem, whether I tried to ignore it or I outright said about it. In the end thats what fuelled us breaking up. My advice is: don't end it now, give it a chance but don't ever supress your true feelings and don't be a doormat for him.
Having said that, our relationship lasted three years and all through those years she was always, in his eyes, better than me, more fun than me, he'd rather spend more time with her than me. He used to flirt with her more than me and seemed more interested in what she had to say. I'm not a jealous person either but it does really hit on your self-esteem hard if he's acting like that over and over again.Try talking to him about it. Things might work out, they might not. It depends on what their relationship is like, and how you feel about it, and how he treats you. If its a touchy-feely flirty friendship and it bothers you, it will always be there in the back of your mind no matter how much you ignore it. If its purely platonic and they don't hold hands/flirt/dance together/act like a couple then it's probably just a problem that will blow over, and he just needs to pay you a bit more attention.
For my old relationship it was always a problem, whether I tried to ignore it or I outright said about it. In the end thats what fuelled us breaking up. My advice is: don't end it now, give it a chance but don't ever supress your true feelings and don't be a doormat for him.
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