The TSR Islamic Society Watch

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The Green Manalishi
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#9701
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#9701
(Original post by TSR_Princess)
Hey Rashid, how are you, inshallah eveything is good
What time is it in SL btw?
Masha Allah everything is good! And with u? It's 22.33 here as we're approx 6 hrs ahead of UK time. So whats been up people?
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The Green Manalishi
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#9702
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#9702
(Original post by mizfissy815)
Here’s my honest opinion….
I don’t think in Islam there is anything such as a ‘love’ marriage. If two people want get married because they love each other…then somewhere along the line, something went wrong. Either the guy didn’t lower his gaze and/or the girl didn’t act as modest as she should have.I mean can you really ‘fall in love’ with someone you hardly know? I honestly think that love comes after marriage, only after you get to know the person well enough to say that yes, ‘I love this person’. If you make that declaration before the Nikkah, I can guarantee you something went wrong. However, during the agreement before the Nikkah or the engagement, once the 2 people in question had the chance to talk (with the presence of other family members), there is nothing wrong with admiring the person because of their modesty or personality, for example.
I agree completely although can't one fall for someone's modesty/ perseverance towards their religion? This can come through observation (Not looking at the face or anything, just noticing someone's spirit/ passion for religion) instead of direct interaction. But i agree with basically every word especially the part about admiring in front of the family, someone's modesty and piety. And i also agree with two people growing to love each other.

My point is that through the family's interactions then the two people must somehow get to understand each other in orser to make an honest Nikkah and intend on their feelings correct? And this cannot be done in the external environment...
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hiky
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#9703
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#9703
(Original post by mizfissy815)
Here’s my honest opinion….
I don’t think in Islam there is anything such as a ‘love’ marriage. If two people want get married because they love each other…then somewhere along the line, something went wrong. Either the guy didn’t lower his gaze and/or the girl didn’t act as modest as she should have.I mean can you really ‘fall in love’ with someone you hardly know? I honestly think that love comes after marriage, only after you get to know the person well enough to say that yes, ‘I love this person’. If you make that declaration before the Nikkah, I can guarantee you something went wrong. However, during the agreement before the Nikkah or the engagement, once the 2 people in question had the chance to talk (with the presence of other family members), there is nothing wrong with admiring the person because of their modesty or personality, for example.
I totally diagree with this post. What if you realise that you don't love the guy after you're married? What do you do then?
hiky
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#9704
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#9704
As Rashid said, can't one fall for anything except for looks and physical apperance?
Their love for their religion, there determination, their personality, although i believe arrange marraige can work as long as the particpants argree, i also think that love marriage work as well. One doesnt need to indecently look at a lady to fall in love with her
xxxxx
mizfissy815
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#9705
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#9705
I agree completely although can't one fall for someone's modesty/ perseverance towards their religion? This can come through observation (Not looking at the face or anything, just noticing someone's spirit/ passion for religion) instead of direct interaction. But i agree with basically every word especially the part about admiring in front of the family, someone's modesty and piety. And i also agree with two people growing to love each other.

My point is that through the family's interactions then the two people must somehow get to understand each other in orser to make an honest Nikkah and intend on their feelings correct? And this cannot be done in the external environment...
Yes, I agree.

Assalaamu Alaikum TSR Princess! how's things going?
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hiky
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#9706
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#9706
fine thank you and you habibti!
Milli
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#9707
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#9707
(Original post by mizfissy815)
Here’s my honest opinion….
I don’t think in Islam there is anything such as a ‘love’ marriage. If two people want get married because they love each other…then somewhere along the line, something went wrong. Either the guy didn’t lower his gaze and/or the girl didn’t act as modest as she should have.I mean can you really ‘fall in love’ with someone you hardly know? I honestly think that love comes after marriage, only after you get to know the person well enough to say that yes, ‘I love this person’. If you make that declaration before the Nikkah, I can guarantee you something went wrong. However, during the agreement before the Nikkah or the engagement, once the 2 people in question had the chance to talk (with the presence of other family members), there is nothing wrong with admiring the person because of their modesty or personality, for example.
Excellent post. I cannot say i completely agree with the 'love comes after marriage' statement. I personally couldn't marry someone if i'm not in love. What if you're personalities don't match, and it's to late to say no since you're already married. You have to get to know the person because you'd be spending the rest of you're life with him. If it was that easy then i'd accept the first offer of marriage that comes, since like you said 'love comes after marriage.'
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liverpool
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#9708
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#9708
(Original post by TSR_Princess)
I did not mean socialising outside school. And wehre did you get the bit about hugging??! I wear a scarf and like the majority of muslims, females dress modestly, this way the boys repsect me. I dont see the harm of friendly gestures, i dont see the harm of bridging the gap and reducing isolation, and elimanating any stereotyped views, do you?


Assalamu ALlaikum


never did i say sister that YOU HUG a boy. but in my skool i see a lot of hugging. not in a love meaning hugging i mean girls and boys who are just mates hug. This is no way right and esspecially as those people are "supposed" to be well practising muslims.


and to brother rashid. You can have a freing that is LIKE a sister but by now means in islam are you allowed to hug her. if she your sister irl then thats different. you do know that in islam COUSAINs over the age of 12 who are of the opposite sex should not hug OR be in a room togerther alone. so if as cousains you are not allowed to do this you will not be allowed with close freinds.


thats why if you have a chance to go to a all boy/girl skool you should jump at it. free mixing is not good, BUT as we are living in the western world we have to. If i could afford do go to private skool i would but by no means can i.

i hope i have put my points through clearly.

and ALLAH KNOWS BEST


everyone take care


Wsalaamuallaikum
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Milli
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#9709
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#9709
(Original post by liverpool)
Assalamu ALlaikum


never did i say sister that YOU HUG a boy. but in my skool i see a lot of hugging. not in a love meaning hugging i mean girls and boys who are just mates hug. This is no way right and esspecially as those people are "supposed" to be well practising muslims.


and to brother rashid. You can have a freing that is LIKE a sister but by now means in islam are you allowed to hug her. if she your sister irl then thats different. you do know that in islam COUSAINs over the age of 12 who are of the opposite sex should not hug OR be in a room togerther alone. so if as cousains you are not allowed to do this you will not be allowed with close freinds.

i hope i have put my points through clearly.

and ALLAH KNOWS BEST


everyone take care


Wsalaamuallaikum

salams liverpool

are you serious about the cousin thing? Aren't they you're mehram, since you cannot marry them. Afterall they are family.

I have cousins who i'm pretty close with. I don't hug but i do speak and joke with them.
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mizfissy815
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#9710
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#9710
I'm fine alhamdullilah...
As Rashid said, can't one fall for anything except for looks and physical apperance?
Their love for their religion, there determination, their personality, although i believe arrange marraige can work as long as the particpants argree, i also think that love marriage work as well. One doesnt need to indecently look at a lady to fall in love with her
xxxxx
Of course you can. What I’m saying is that you can admire a person for their piety, modesty etc… but in my opinion love is a strong word that cannot evolve simply from basic interaction. You need to know the person really well, before ‘falling in love’ with them.
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mizfissy815
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#9711
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#9711
are you serious about the cousin thing? Aren't they you're mehram, since you cannot marry them. Afterall they are family.
Actually, they are not your mahram and islamically you are allowed to marry them.
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The Green Manalishi
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#9712
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#9712
(Original post by Milli)
Excellent post. I cannot say i completely agree with the 'love comes after marriage' statement. I personally couldn't marry someone if i'm not in love. What if you're personalities don't match, and it's to late to say no since you're already married. You have to get to know the person because you'd be spending the rest of you're life with him. If it was that easy then i'd accept the first offer of marriage that comes, since like you said 'love comes after marriage.'
Yes i agree, which was i queried some of the things sister Muhiba put across. So i suppose getting to know one another before the marriage in the right circumstances... would that be ok?
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The Green Manalishi
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#9713
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#9713
(Original post by Milli)
salams liverpool

are you serious about the cousin thing? Aren't they you're mehram, since you cannot marry them. Afterall they are family.

I have cousins who i'm pretty close with. I don't hug but i do speak and joke with them.
Technically you can marry them so they would not be mahram towards you.
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Milli
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#9714
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#9714
(Original post by rashid1988)
Yes i agree, which was i queried some of the things sister Muhiba put across. So i suppose getting to know one another before the marriage in the right circumstances... would that be ok?
Hope so ....as long as you do everything islamically then i suppose it's okay.
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liverpool
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#9715
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#9715
(Original post by mizfissy815)
Actually, they are not you're marhram and islamically you are allowed to marry them.


well you are allowed to marry them, and by all means talk to them, notthing wrong with that but the hugging and in the rooom alone is correct.

and to the other sister ( milli i think) well you can marry a lot of people, that does not mean that you can do the hugging and so on.

hope the points is clear
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mizfissy815
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#9716
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#9716
Excellent post. I cannot say i completely agree with the 'love comes after marriage' statement. I personally couldn't marry someone if i'm not in love. What if you're personalities don't match, and it's to late to say no since you're already married. You have to get to know the person because you'd be spending the rest of you're life with him. If it was that easy then i'd accept the first offer of marriage that comes, since like you said 'love comes after marriage.'
That is what the engagement period is for. You can get to know each other in 'halal' environment. If things don’t work out, you can break off the engagement. I'm not saying you have to rush into things; this is a life decision after all…and of all of Allah’s permissible things, divorce is the most disliked.
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Milli
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#9717
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#9717
(Original post by mizfissy815)
Actually, they are not you're marhram and islamically you are allowed to marry them.
Oh right..
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Milli
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#9718
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#9718
(Original post by liverpool)
well you are allowed to marry them, and by all means talk to them, notthing wrong with that but the hugging and in the rooom alone is correct.

and to the other sister ( milli i think) well you can marry a lot of people, that does not mean that you can do the hugging and so on.

hope the points is clear

Never said i agreed with 'hugging.' I'm absolutely against the whole idea.
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mizfissy815
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#9719
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#9719
Assalaamu Alaikum Liverpool! How are you?

Hope so ....as long as you do everything islamically then i suppose it's okay.
Yep!
May I ask why the sad face?
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liverpool
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#9720
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#9720
(Original post by Milli)
Never said i agreed with 'hugging.' I'm absolutely against the whole idea.
ok, i dint really intend to it aim it at you, srry for that

just wanted to ask doenst it ( hugging) happen as your skool?

if not then what the hell is happening at mine. i need to start an active islamic society in skool.
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