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    (Original post by xbabydollx)
    hi and salams i was wondering if ne body cud help me- basically ders this guy i want 2 marry (guy A) but ma mum n dad want me 2 marry sum1 else(guy b) but i cant marry him because i realy dont like him, but parents are insistin- they wont force me or neting but im scared that by me inisisting that i marry guy A i mite lose my parents and i realy dont want that 2 happen. so i duno wat 2 do :confused:
    Inform your parents about guy A and tell them how you genuinely feel about him. Also tell them that you wouldn't be happy if you married guy B, and remember to pray in earnest that Allah guides you onto that which is best for you.

    But always keep in mind that you should neither disobey nor make angry your parents; not marrying someone whom you love is much much better than losing all kinship with your parents.

    May Allah aid you endeavour.

    Dimez
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    (Original post by rashid1988)
    Shanghai!! Whats that like? I'd love to come to the far east! (And become a Samurai :rolleyes: ) I loved Malaysia when i went there! Such a nice country... It's really great!
    Thank you. Lol, you're just stoking the flame of a patriot. A few more minutes and I'll end up waxing poetic about Malaysia, but I'll restrain myself. Shanghai is just another city :p:. As you can probably tell, I've lived in too many cities to care too much about Shanghai. On one hand it's dirtier, louder, faster-paced, more polluted, less sunny, more haze, but also it's fun, dynamic and interesting!

    I wanted to become a samurai too (especially after watching Rurouni Kenshin), but I realised after reading several articles, that the Japanese are becoming less Japanese :eek: :eek: :eek: and actually losing the culture, whilst it is everyone else that romanticises their history. I feel sad.
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    Salaam & Hi all :hello:
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    (Original post by locutionatoress)
    Thank you. Lol, you're just stoking the flame of a patriot. A few more minutes and I'll end up waxing poetic about Malaysia, but I'll restrain myself. Shanghai is just another city :p:. As you can probably tell, I've lived in too many cities to care too much about Shanghai. On one hand it's dirtier, louder, faster-paced, more polluted, less sunny, more haze, but also it's fun, dynamic and interesting!

    I wanted to become a samurai too (especially after watching Rurouni Kenshin), but I realised after reading several articles, that the Japanese are becoming less Japanese :eek: :eek: :eek: and actually losing the culture, whilst it is everyone else that romanticises their history. I feel sad.
    Yeah i heard the Samurai regime and the whole self-defence ideology is dying out. Are there still Samurais or places where you can train (like the original places)?

    Same could be said about Colombo i suppose. Which is where i live.

    Salaams Hira, how are you? I had an interesting day to say the least! I spent much of it in a salon with the hairdresser and then i found out that my cousin had lost my grandma's phone... So yeah! Interesting! :p:
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    (Original post by rashid1988)
    I really don't know what you can do without a few details. Why do your parents not want you to marry him (guy A - some reasons could be culture/ religion)? What's so special about guy B? (Like good job/ brainy fellow?)
    Care to give us more details?

    Edit: I see that you haven't been active for a while so here's what i might suggest (fairly blindly). If you really are set on marrying this guy, which i can understand, then you need to go about convincing the parents. It's easier said than done, which may cause some troubles. I would suggest either try and get them to become fond of 'guy A'. Perhaps invite him for a family dinner and sit down and explain things to them. Both of you because perhaps they'd need to see how sincere he is about his liking you.
    Failing that then i suggest getting an older relative/ important person in the town to speak to your parents and try and convince them.
    Dunno if you've tried all this and i don't know any even mildliy basic specifics so please suggest more. Otherwise that's about the best i can do. Maybe i'll think of something later and come and add it. Hopefully all will work out well and all the best to you!
    well guy a is from the same culture, hes a muslim, speaks the same language same famly backgrounds xcept that hes not famly and guy b hes not at colege or uni hasnt read the quran and my parents like him because hes famly. guy As famly are gona kum 2 ma house sumtime but in the meantime my mum and dad want me 2 marry my cuz, i do love ma mum n dad but i cant marry guy b kos ill just be tinkin bout guy A.
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    (Original post by Dimez)
    Inform your parents about guy A and tell them how you genuinely feel about him. Also tell them that you wouldn't be happy if you married guy B, and remember to pray in earnest that Allah guides you onto that which is best for you.

    But always keep in mind that you should neither disobey nor make angry your parents; not marrying someone whom you love is much much better than losing all kinship with your parents.

    May Allah aid you endeavour.

    Dimez
    but it isnt rite 2 marry some1 whilst u have feelings for some 1 else either
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    (Original post by xbabydollx)
    well guy a is from the same culture, hes a muslim, speaks the same language same famly backgrounds xcept that hes not famly and guy b hes not at colege or uni hasnt read the quran and my parents like him because hes famly. guy As famly are gona kum 2 ma house sumtime but in the meantime my mum and dad want me 2 marry my cuz, i do love ma mum n dad but i cant marry guy b kos ill just be tinkin bout guy A.
    I suggest you tell your parents about 'Guy A' before this whole predicament aggravates.

    All the best.
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    sALAAM
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    (Original post by xbabydollx)
    hi and salams i was wondering if ne body cud help me- basically ders this guy i want 2 marry (guy A) but ma mum n dad want me 2 marry sum1 else(guy b) but i cant marry him because i realy dont like him, but parents are insistin- they wont force me or neting but im scared that by me inisisting that i marry guy A i mite lose my parents and i realy dont want that 2 happen. so i duno wat 2 do :confused:

    I can't give you much advice because you haven't given us any detail about both guys. Why would you're parents want you married to GUY B and not GUY A? whats so special about GUY A?

    Ask yourself one question..who's more important to you?...you're parents or this guy? Perhaps you could try and convince you're parents....or like Rashid said, send someone else to talk to them....or even invite the guy to you're house. I'm sure there must be a reason why you're parents wouldn't want you marrying this guy. Afterall every parents want the best for their children.

    Hope all goes well

    Good luck
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    (Original post by xbabydollx)
    well guy a is from the same culture, hes a muslim, speaks the same language same famly backgrounds xcept that hes not family and guy b hes not at colege or uni hasnt read the quran and my parents like him because hes famly. guy As famly are gona kum 2 ma house sumtime but in the meantime my mum and dad want me 2 marry my cuz, i do love ma mum n dad but i cant marry guy b kos ill just be tinkin bout guy A.
    hmmm...well it's a bit obvious now isn't it....choose guy A :p:

    Forget the whole family thing...who cares? family or not? As long as he's a muslim, decent guy, good family background, has an education...then marry him. I don't see why you're parents need any convincing...it's blatantly obvious who's better
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    (Original post by Milli)
    hmmm...well it's a bit obvious now isn't it....choose guy A :p:

    Forget the whole family thing...who cares? family or not? As long as he's a muslim, decent guy, good family background, has an education...then marry him. I don't see why you're parents need any convincing...it's blatantly obvious who's better
    A marriage, devoid of the parent's blessings, is not worth having.

    Also, keep in mind that in order for the nikaah to be valid, the bride's father must oblige.
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    (Original post by Dimez)
    A marriage, devoid of the parent's blessings, is not worth having.

    Also, keep in mind that in order for the nikaah to be valid, the bride's father must oblige.
    Dimez i never said she should marry this guy without her parents blessing. What i said was that its obvious which guy is better...right? so why would her parents need convincing.....anyone would be able to recognise the difference. Just give you're parents the facts....compare both of them...and i'm sure they will agree.
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    (Original post by Milli)
    hmmm...well it's a bit obvious now isn't it....choose guy A :p:

    Forget the whole family thing...who cares? family or not? As long as he's a muslim, decent guy, good family background, has an education...then marry him. I don't see why you're parents need any convincing...it's blatantly obvious who's better
    I agree and this was why i asked about the circumstances, i knew something must be amiss. Coming from Asia i have enough knowledge to guess about marital fiascos and parents not giving blessings.

    So basically i agree with the post above. You should fight for the guy you love, but also keep in mind that your parents are essential, so try and get them to like him. Otherwise, be like me and persevere until they have no choice! :p:
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    (Original post by Milli)
    Dimez i never said she should marry this guy without her parents blessing. What i said was that its obvious which guy is better...right? so why would her parents need convincing.....anyone would be able to recognise the difference. Just give you're parents the facts....compare both of them...and i'm sure they will agree.
    Except that guy B has the advantage of being family so 'blood'. In Asia and many muslim societies they believe when marrying someone you marry into a family/ bloodline and whatever other nonsense they can come up with. So this may weigh in at a big advantage for guy B.

    That being said, they should only considering the guy in question! Not his entire ancestral domain.
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    (Original post by Milli)
    Dimez i never said she should marry this guy without her parents blessing. What i said was that its obvious which guy is better...right? so why would her parents need convincing.....anyone would be able to recognise the difference. Just give your parents the facts....compare both of them...and i'm sure they will agree.
    Easier said than done, sister. I doubt a culturally-orientated parent would give any weight to the Islamic character of one's prospective spouse.

    It's merely a matter of gaining the parent's blessings whilst, simultaneously, marrying whom you 'love', so to speak.
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    (Original post by rashid1988)
    Except that guy B has the advantage of being family so 'blood'. In Asia and many muslim societies they believe when marrying someone you marry into a family/ bloodline and whatever other nonsense they can come up with. So this may weigh in at a big advantage for guy B.

    That being said, they should only considering the guy in question! Not his entire ancestral domain.
    oh i don't agree with marriage's within the family, whatever the reasons.
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    Dear sister Milli, thank you for that eloquent yet haughty response to Massimo! It was perfect timing to back up what i said before!

    Also wanted to ask, Is 'Milli' a turkish name? Cos there used to be a girl in school named Milli who could've been from that area...
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    (Original post by Milli)
    oh i don't agree with marriage's within the family, whatever the reasons.
    Hear hear! I hate the idea, cos why should someone be judged on a crime/ wrong they haven't commited! It's just another form of prejudice imo... Luckily my family isn't like that... (I think :p:)
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    thanks everyone i supose ill hafta keep trying 2 convince my parents- they dont know bout guy A yet- well my mum does but not my dad. but my dad does know him-meets him at mosque and everyting , he just doesnt know that i wana marry him. so il tell him 2 get his mum n dad 2 kum ova and see how it goes. i dont agree with marryin famly, kos all my cousins have and they all on the verge of divorcing, proving that it doesnt always work and that even tho ure parents have the best intentions they arent always rite.its sooo anoying tho when nobody listens!!!!!:mad:
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    (Original post by rashid1988)
    Dear sister Milli, thank you for that eloquent yet haughty response to Massimo! It was perfect timing to back up what i said before!

    Also wanted to ask, Is 'Milli' a turkish name? Cos there used to be a girl in school named Milli who could've been from that area...
    I really don't like massimo's posts...had to say something :p:

    Nope 'Milli' isn't a turkish name...well as far as i know...it's not even an islamic name. Abbas looked it up from the internet...and i think he said it was partly spanish or something. I could be wrong. It's been quite a while.
 
 
 
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