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My BF has female friends and hangs out with them alone? Am I being too paranoid?

This is the scenario.

My boyfriend has female friends. He met one of them today, just the two of them and they went to a pub together. It was his idea and he asked her if she wanted to hang out in advance last week. He didn't mention anything about it to me.

... Is that ok for a boyfriend to do?

Am I being too paranoid and insecure?? :frown:

Reply 1

randdom

20

While I can understand why you might be worried I really think that you are reading too much into it.

I have some close male friends who I often meet up with and go out for meals or for drinks and it is completely plutonic.

I would talk to him about it, I am sure that he doesn't want to upset you and probably isn't aware that you are feeling threatened.

Reply 2

Simply Bread

randdom

While I can understand why you might be worried I really think that you are reading too much into it.

I have some close male friends who I often meet up with and go out for meals or for drinks and it is completely plutonic.

I would talk to him about it, I am sure that he doesn't want to upset you and probably isn't aware that you are feeling threatened.

Platonic.

Other than that, you are completely right. I go out with female friends a lot, even if we are both in relationships.

Reply 3

coolh5000

12

There are some boys who just get on better in a friend-type way with girls. I know my brother has always had a lot of friends who are girls but whenever he has been with a girlfriend he's been completely comitted to her, but won't let her stop him seeing his actual friends. I'm also fairly sure that he didn't tell her everytime he was going out with someone else for a drink, say when he was home for the holidays. Trust him - if he says there's nothing going on and they're just friends then I'd say you should believe him.

Reply 4

jaked275

I wouldn't worry about it. Guys should be able have female friends and vice-versa. It doesn't sound like he went behind your back to hang out with this girl anyways, just a drink, no big deal :smile:

Reply 5

stargirl12

i dont think its such a big deal to be honest, if he was doing it regularly for long periods of time and not telling you where he's been, then yeah..that might be somthing to worry about. As he told you he was going for a drink with a girl mate, thats okay, especially if he has a few girl mates anyway :smile:

Reply 6

ste0731

12

If he is making it fully aware that he is going to meet said friend, then he is clearly not hiding anything at all. So no reason to worry :smile:

Also a boy meeting a female friend for a drink is probably safer than your bf meeting the lads down pub and being encouraged to be a real man and pull the fit bartender or some other crap that lads think is cool :biggrin:

so be happy :p:

Reply 7

Savahl

90% of my friends are male, and I will often go out for drinks with them alone. Platonic relationships do really exist :smile:

If he is telling you that is what he doing the chances are he has nothing to hide and is just meeting up with a friend
x

Reply 8

ellingham

well i have alot of femal friends, and were alone we usually end up having sex, so...

Reply 9

Anonymous #1

OP

ste0731

Also a boy meeting a female friend for a drink is probably safer than your bf meeting the lads down pub and being encouraged to be a real man and pull the fit bartender or some other crap that lads think is cool :biggrin:

so be happy :p:

Oh no..

He goes out with the lads alot... do you think this could be happening too? oh god, im feeling so paranoid :frown:

...

Reply 10

TDF1

Well it would be like you having male friends and hanging out with them...there would be nothing wrong in it right? Guys and girls can be just friends.
He probably didn't mention it to you because he thought by doing so it would make you paranoid and uncomfortable worrying about it too much.
Trust is an integral part of any relationship :yep:

Reply 11

ste0731

12

Anonymous

Oh no..

He goes out with the lads alot... do you think this could be happening too? oh god, im feeling so paranoid :frown:

...

wow you really do have insecurity issues. take a look at yourself. Your boyfriend is WITH YOU! Why? be confident! The BIGGEST TURNOFF and annoying thing ever is a girl CONSTANTLY being jealous. My (now-ex)gf hated me going tesco for a loaf of bread incase a random girl looked at me and started chatting me up. Seriously get a grip. Your boyfriend obviously likes/loves/is attracted/cares about you. Accept that. don't EVER question why or "why me and not the fit next door neighbour" ANd be happy. The more insecure you are the quicker you push him away and then he will go down pub, moan about his annoying gf and then it could all end in disaster.

have some confidence :smile:

Your together. Accept it and be grateful! Don't question cupids mysterious ways :biggrin:

Reply 12

Davezk

12

Depends on the guy. What is he like?

Reply 13

Sorani

16

One of my exes had a couple of close female friends, he went out alone with them a couple of times and it didn't bother me. I suppose it depends on what he's like around them, you could tell with my ex that they were just his friends, sometimes a bit like brother and sister.

It's understandable to be concerned, but I'd give him the benefit of the doubt.

Reply 14

bete noire

17

Anonymous

Oh no..

He goes out with the lads alot... do you think this could be happening too? oh god, im feeling so paranoid :frown:

...

guys dont really do this

Reply 15

Manlyman09

Your bf is banging some ripe gash as we speak! Thers no way someone as butters and gay as urself can hold on to him. Definately break up with him..grow some balls..become a prostitute and then move to vegas.

Muchos gracias xx

Reply 16

jammythedodger

12

Anonymous

This is the scenario.

My boyfriend has female friends. He met one of them today, just the two of them and they went to a pub together. It was his idea and he asked her if she wanted to hang out in advance last week. He didn't mention anything about it to me.

... Is that ok for a boyfriend to do?

Am I being too paranoid and insecure?? :frown:

Considering I have atleast 3 girls that I classify as "best friends" then I really would expect to go out with them and meet with them without a gf needing to know.

Please dont be worried, because it really is a normal thing to do.

Reply 17

miki_da_magpie

2

coolh5000

There are some boys who just get on better in a friend-type way with girls. I know my brother has always had a lot of friends who are girls but whenever he has been with a girlfriend he's been completely comitted to her, but won't let her stop him seeing his actual friends. I'm also fairly sure that he didn't tell her everytime he was going out with someone else for a drink, say when he was home for the holidays. Trust him - if he says there's nothing going on and they're just friends then I'd say you should believe him.

^this

Reply 18

xoxAngel_Kxox

21

It's fine.
I have guy friends, who have girlfriends & we always go out together, to clubs, bars, parties etc.
& nothing's every happened..
You need to stop being paranoid unless he gives you reason to be.
Honestly, it will be fine :smile:

Reply 19

Helioghost

13

Anonymous

This is the scenario.

My boyfriend has female friends. He met one of them today, just the two of them and they went to a pub together. It was his idea and he asked her if she wanted to hang out in advance last week. He didn't mention anything about it to me.

... Is that ok for a boyfriend to do?

Am I being too paranoid and insecure?? :frown:

I've possibly been that boyfriend, with honourable intentions, so mainly I'd say that you're insecure. On the other hand, it turned out that I fancied that girl (I just didn't realise it at the time), so it could go either way...

My BF has female friends and hangs out with them alone? Am I being too paranoid?

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