Is there any way u can teach yourself to be more confident and outgoin? cos im quite shy around people i dont know, i kinda freeze up and just dont know what to say, or i worry i sound stupid if i say something and no matter how much im saying to myself "just say something!" i just cant!!!
being shy (and its not like i never speak cos i have a lotta friends and i do try and make an effort wiv new people) is really getting me down, as i have lost a job because the boss said i wasnt talkative enough so didnt fit in, and also means that i am 18 and am the only one outta all my friends who has never had a boyfriend! im also really worried about going to uni as im so scared i wont make any new friends!
please help its really upsetting me!
You lost your job because you weren't talkative enough? Surely that is a bit unfair. Where did you work?
I lack confidence at times, but I have gained a lot since going to university and having to stand up in front of 150 people and give a presentation. I'm not shy, I just sometimes don't feel confident in myself to speak up about certain things, although I am getting better as I am getting older!
I wouldn't worry about uni too much, your first day will be a prime opportunity to make friends straight away. Everyone is in the same boat and so it is easier to approach people. I have never seen anyone at uni without a friend, even really, really shy people. You will make loads of new friends at uni, and you never know they might coax you out of your shell!
well...one thing to bear in mind is..people never think what you think they think, about you. And..no one is going to bite your head off because you talked to them. Dont worry about uni either..there are too many people at uni, you're bound to mix in with a bunch. Me thinks...theres gotta be something you have in common with someone.
i know what you mean.. i sometimes am too scared to say anything because im so scared of being judged!!
its crazy- im getting better as i get older like lynseyweth though.
just be yourself thats the most important thing.
When I was younger I wasn't the most confident/talkative person but I made myself get involved in public speaking/debates things like that and just generally made myself speak infront of people. Slowly I became more and more confident as people listened to what I had to say and didn't laugh which built up my confidence and now I never shut up! You have to be harsh on youself at first and force yourself to do things like I mentioned even if you feel you don't want to. Trust me it'll pay off in the end.
I came to be more confident when I stopped caring about what other people think.
well i used to be uber shy and all introverted but when i went to college (from secondary school) i re-invented myself as a 'confident' person, although it was an act, gradually it became who i was. I still fundamentally find it difficult in new situatitions but i try my best and thats all i can do.
Change the way you walk! It really helps, i walk with my head held high staring off into space, and one foot in front of the other, causing me to have a wiggle. It feels silly but you look really confident
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confidence is probably one of the only things you cant simply teach yourself to improve at. you need to do new things, experience stuff and have a "fcuk it" attitude.
thanks for all the help guys!! i do quite often think they dont know me yet, so just act confident and loud and they wont think its strange cos they dont know ure normally quiet,, but its just so hard!!! guess ill jst hav 2 keep trying really hard! i worked in a cafe place for a few weeks, and yeah it was well harsh for them to sack me for that and its annoying cos being with new people was so good for me, i was starting to get the art of making conversation, but then they go and sack me!
good idea bout kick boxing/martial arts i might see if theres anything in my area! i guess itll fill up my time too, considering i dont hav a job anymore!!
Intrinsically i have a confident core but as i have never socialised with particularly confident people..my confident core has never been used and strengthened and shoown in the light of day. I think alot is all to do with what are friends are like...im a rebounder person...and it defo helps if your friends are similar to your intrinsic self because you know it can flourish rather than being a shy person....im a bit shy....its not a complete negative but i wish i wasn't so much so as it probably isn't really the real me. However, its too simplistic to say a shy person needs a boisterous character to bring confidence out from them..often not.
the thing is its all very well saying that people wont think ure stupid and its much better to be talkative than it is to stay quiet, but the thing is i know all this, but its still difficult! and also if ive been drinkin i become much more loud and talkative! and if im in a group of people i know reasonably well im fine, its just when im with peope i dont know or just with one or two people i dont know that well! i think one of the big issues is just knowing what to say, cos with my friends it comes easily and i could talk for ages!