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How much care should i expect from my friends
i think this is the right section but feel free to move it to gc if not.
Basically im upset because i feel like my friends dont care. My sister has been a severe anorexic for about a year now. her illness is particularly serious and its destroyed my family with worry and feelings of responsibility. i told this to a friend once wen i was drunk and she blagged it to the rest of them (i didnt want them to know for exactly the reason im about to explain). but none of them showed any concern or understanding that i have a problem. my "best friend" for example keeps complaining that her sister has lost weight and is annoyed that she's now as almost as slim as her. without thinking for one second this might not be wat i need to hear about.
On top of this i myself have had some issues with food for about 3 years. at the moment i weight 7stone 8 and im 5foot 7 and a half. my parents tell me i look to slim, but i cant help feeling that if my friends havent noticed then that cant be true.especially wen they sometimes get annoyed if i dont accept chips etc (i do eat btw but i cant eat that kind of thing).
I know these are hard things for ppl to understand. am i expecting to much from my friends or am i right to let this get to me?
Sorry about the essay!
Basically im upset because i feel like my friends dont care. My sister has been a severe anorexic for about a year now. her illness is particularly serious and its destroyed my family with worry and feelings of responsibility. i told this to a friend once wen i was drunk and she blagged it to the rest of them (i didnt want them to know for exactly the reason im about to explain). but none of them showed any concern or understanding that i have a problem. my "best friend" for example keeps complaining that her sister has lost weight and is annoyed that she's now as almost as slim as her. without thinking for one second this might not be wat i need to hear about.
On top of this i myself have had some issues with food for about 3 years. at the moment i weight 7stone 8 and im 5foot 7 and a half. my parents tell me i look to slim, but i cant help feeling that if my friends havent noticed then that cant be true.especially wen they sometimes get annoyed if i dont accept chips etc (i do eat btw but i cant eat that kind of thing).
I know these are hard things for ppl to understand. am i expecting to much from my friends or am i right to let this get to me?
Sorry about the essay!
Try telling your friends how you're feeling. They're not mind-readers; they might have noticed your problems but thought if you never bring it up, it's because you don't want to talk about it. Different people handle different problems in different ways - some of my friends like to tell people how they're feeling, others prefer just to talk about other things to forget about their problems.
Your problems are obviously very important to you, and although you may think it's obvious that you're going through a hard time, it might be that you're really good at carrying on as normal and you don't make it obvious to your friends. It's also possible that if they see you every day, they won't have noticed any minor changes in your appearance so this might be why they won't have noticed you've been losing weight.
Your problems are obviously very important to you, and although you may think it's obvious that you're going through a hard time, it might be that you're really good at carrying on as normal and you don't make it obvious to your friends. It's also possible that if they see you every day, they won't have noticed any minor changes in your appearance so this might be why they won't have noticed you've been losing weight.
Even if they are aware they may find it hard to approach the subject/give advice etc. without causing offence as they often don't know what to say.
Do you want to talk about it and be comforted?
Or do you wish to forget about it and have fun?
What do you expect from them?
Do you want to talk about it and be comforted?
Or do you wish to forget about it and have fun?
What do you expect from them?
As people have suggested above...you need to clear up in your mind exactly what you want from your friends, then decide if they are going to be able to give it you. Most people have a friend who is good at listening and most have a friend who is good for having a chat and having fun, but if you want feedback and support then that may be harder to find. If you really don't think you can get what you want from them then there are plenty of people on here that would be willing to listen and help in anyway that they can. x x x
Everyone else has made the most pertinent points so I'll just add this:
It's hard to know when a friend needs help or someone to talk to, especially if you've got your own problems. After all, if you're worrying about your weight and your sister you might neglect them in the same way. The times I'm able to help a friend the most are either when they tell me their problems or I find out the problem independently and get them to talk about it. Hope that helps!
It's hard to know when a friend needs help or someone to talk to, especially if you've got your own problems. After all, if you're worrying about your weight and your sister you might neglect them in the same way. The times I'm able to help a friend the most are either when they tell me their problems or I find out the problem independently and get them to talk about it. Hope that helps!
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