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Depressed getting older ?
dam this has just hit me. like i am 22 and like last 7 years all i did is work. when i was teen 16 all i did is work neva enjoyed or had a teen life. while everybody was partying enjoying. gf etc.best of their teen life.
this same happned in uni they enjoyed partying etc. where i had to study and work.
i had to work to support myself and family. i had no choice.all my frinds they enjoyed their life they went on holiday, been in relationship partying. where i had to work for my livin.everything i did was by myself where they got help from their family
i didnt have anytime always buzi i think thats why i was neva close with them.like now i dont have any clsoe friends
and now i am in real world work. so are they.all this hard work i been throgh and i am same position as them.
now evrtytime i look at teen in town i get deprssed that this is the life i have neva had and neva will and i get really depressed.i dont know wat to do.i feel really bad inside
this same happned in uni they enjoyed partying etc. where i had to study and work.
i had to work to support myself and family. i had no choice.all my frinds they enjoyed their life they went on holiday, been in relationship partying. where i had to work for my livin.everything i did was by myself where they got help from their family
i didnt have anytime always buzi i think thats why i was neva close with them.like now i dont have any clsoe friends
and now i am in real world work. so are they.all this hard work i been throgh and i am same position as them.
now evrtytime i look at teen in town i get deprssed that this is the life i have neva had and neva will and i get really depressed.i dont know wat to do.i feel really bad inside
Reply 1
you're only 22, its not too late to get out and enjoy yourself 
Reply 2
Live your teendom now! Why not? Maybe consider going on one of those life-affirming 'Build a hut in Africa' or 'Save a Swine in Mexico' trips everyone raves about. You must have saved away a bit from your working life and that kind of experience might be what you need to make you appreciate things and have fun again.
I know what you mean though, I'm 21 and hate thinking that it is now unacceptable for me to seek help from 'adults' when I do stupid things like not cancel my phone when it is lost so that someone uses it abroad for the equivalent of £1500 straight from my bank account... Responsibility is so inconvenient.
I know what you mean though, I'm 21 and hate thinking that it is now unacceptable for me to seek help from 'adults' when I do stupid things like not cancel my phone when it is lost so that someone uses it abroad for the equivalent of £1500 straight from my bank account... Responsibility is so inconvenient.
Reply 3
I am a teenager, not old enough to go to clubs. Me and my friends have nothing to do to be honest!
I'd say you are at the best age for partying !
I'd say you are at the best age for partying !
Reply 4
You're 22; go to a festival and get wrecked or something. You're still really young. Honestly, I think you can do all the drink/drugs/party crap until you're around 26ish.
Reply 5
16
im 18 and i feel the same. I read this somewhere
We live like we will never die
And die as we have never lived.
Dunno why im quoting this though...lol
We live like we will never die
And die as we have never lived.
Dunno why im quoting this though...lol
Reply 6
ClaireHogben
you're only 22, its not too late to get out and enjoy yourself
This, really. You're not old yet. Live a little a make up for all those years you missed.
Reply 7
Hard lesson in life 1 - we ultimately are responsible only to ourselves for the decisions we make. We have to live by the consequences.
Be grateful you have realised now that you could have made different choices and there would have been different outcomes.
You may not think the following will ever happen but one day you may be grateful you had this realisation. You can't bring back that time - and that is a difficult realisation. Don't let others "gloss over" your feelings. If you feel it was crap, it was crap.
HOWEVER. You can choose whether you continue to live with regret or you can put this behind you and start doing what you really enjoy. Most people will go around in a frenzy trying to "fill in the gaps" - you might choose to do that. You might try to have a string of sexual realisationships if that is where you feel you "missed out". There will be consequences to that - which may be good or maybe bad. But remember you always have a choice and a responsibility to yourself - even if you feel your decision may let down or upset other people. That's different from doing things that deliberately or neglectfully hurt others. There's a big difference between taking responsibility for yourself and being selfish to the detriment of others - but it sometimes is difficult to see that. No-one else will take as much concern about your life as you.
Don't generalise from what you know (or what you think you know) about other people and their lives. Don't envy their lives and their experience. There are billions of people on the planet and you know nothing of them or what they have experienced or never had.
There will be others who envy your opportunities and achievements even though you feel now those achievements are worthless. Envy, envy, everywhere - not pretty is it? They had it right when they said envy is one of the deadly sins.
Just make your own life, start today. Make a list of things you really want to do before you die. Do the difficult things first - these will be the most difficult to achieve (and you may well "fail" ) but they will give you most reward. Don't expect every moment to be thrilling - but don't accept that things will always be dull or isolating. If you feel you will not succeed that is exactly what will happen. Failure isn't not getting what you wanted, failure is not trying.
Don't wait around waiting to be invited to the "best parties" - be the person who makes things happen. This takes work and you won't always get the thanks you deserve. Many people will snip and be snidey. They may say you are "trying too hard" or are "needy". Ignore it - all of it. Don't do things to "be liked" - do things, make things happen, because that's the only way good things happen.
Accept people for what they are - don't "select out" people because you feel they are too dull, unattractive, too attractive, too rich, too poor, too old, too posh, too common. Don't pine to be with people who don't treat you with respect. You cannot make everyone like you - accept that.
The greatest reward doesn't come from what you have but from the relationships you have with other people and from being brave enough to stand up and be counted when others turn their backs. Confront quietly but resolutely. Listen first, speak second.
You may not get what you wanted at the start but embrace the unexpected experiences as these will help you grow. Do you still want all the things you wanted when you were 5 years old?
As you change this will make the people around you feel uncomfortable - and they will do subtle things to undermine your confidence in your changes. Realise this will happen and this will be difficult to deal with - however, they will have to accept.
Keep your shoes clean, brush your teeth and accept we all end up in the same place - so decide now what you will do before you are in the ground.
Always be circumspect of the well meant advice of others
.
Good luck.
Be grateful you have realised now that you could have made different choices and there would have been different outcomes.
You may not think the following will ever happen but one day you may be grateful you had this realisation. You can't bring back that time - and that is a difficult realisation. Don't let others "gloss over" your feelings. If you feel it was crap, it was crap.
HOWEVER. You can choose whether you continue to live with regret or you can put this behind you and start doing what you really enjoy. Most people will go around in a frenzy trying to "fill in the gaps" - you might choose to do that. You might try to have a string of sexual realisationships if that is where you feel you "missed out". There will be consequences to that - which may be good or maybe bad. But remember you always have a choice and a responsibility to yourself - even if you feel your decision may let down or upset other people. That's different from doing things that deliberately or neglectfully hurt others. There's a big difference between taking responsibility for yourself and being selfish to the detriment of others - but it sometimes is difficult to see that. No-one else will take as much concern about your life as you.
Don't generalise from what you know (or what you think you know) about other people and their lives. Don't envy their lives and their experience. There are billions of people on the planet and you know nothing of them or what they have experienced or never had.
There will be others who envy your opportunities and achievements even though you feel now those achievements are worthless. Envy, envy, everywhere - not pretty is it? They had it right when they said envy is one of the deadly sins.
Just make your own life, start today. Make a list of things you really want to do before you die. Do the difficult things first - these will be the most difficult to achieve (and you may well "fail" ) but they will give you most reward. Don't expect every moment to be thrilling - but don't accept that things will always be dull or isolating. If you feel you will not succeed that is exactly what will happen. Failure isn't not getting what you wanted, failure is not trying.
Don't wait around waiting to be invited to the "best parties" - be the person who makes things happen. This takes work and you won't always get the thanks you deserve. Many people will snip and be snidey. They may say you are "trying too hard" or are "needy". Ignore it - all of it. Don't do things to "be liked" - do things, make things happen, because that's the only way good things happen.
Accept people for what they are - don't "select out" people because you feel they are too dull, unattractive, too attractive, too rich, too poor, too old, too posh, too common. Don't pine to be with people who don't treat you with respect. You cannot make everyone like you - accept that.
The greatest reward doesn't come from what you have but from the relationships you have with other people and from being brave enough to stand up and be counted when others turn their backs. Confront quietly but resolutely. Listen first, speak second.
You may not get what you wanted at the start but embrace the unexpected experiences as these will help you grow. Do you still want all the things you wanted when you were 5 years old?
As you change this will make the people around you feel uncomfortable - and they will do subtle things to undermine your confidence in your changes. Realise this will happen and this will be difficult to deal with - however, they will have to accept.
Keep your shoes clean, brush your teeth and accept we all end up in the same place - so decide now what you will do before you are in the ground.
Always be circumspect of the well meant advice of others
.Good luck.
Related discussions
- Psychosis/Schizophrenia Misdiagnosis
- Should I stay at Birkbeck or transfer to another uni?
- Compelling Personal Reasons Guide From Someone Whin Got Accepted
- Missed out on my teens/early 20s due to mental illness
- Can I get onto another course with compelling reasons?
- I'm depressed beyond words, how to meet and befriend people
- Does anyone else here regret going to university?
- Why do women give you more chance when you're older??
- DSA Application for EUPD, Bipolar, Depression and Anxiety
- Has the time passed to pursue my dreams?
- Any birthday Perks for a final year uni student?
- What are the rules about posters in accommodation
- Worrying about getting older
- Getting older
- dont see the point in going uni :/
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- Failed a levels and and now I feel like my whole life is over - M3dicine offer
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- St Aiden's
- Is there any point in doing a gap year?
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