A Question for Muslim Girls...

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NGyano

so if dating is haram then are you supposed to marry someone by just seeing them? You need to date a person to see if they are the right one for you. Taking a risk by just marrying them because you are told they are "right" is not advisable, especially with the difficulty of divorce in Islam

Thats what engagement is for -_- ...you can always break it off if you dont like the dude!

Reply 41

hungrybear

well to be honest, as a Muslim you shouldn't be dating anyway. So from a religious perspective, if you are breaking the rules by dating, does it really matter who it is that you are breaking the rules for? If you feel uncomfortable with the fact that he's had sex before, then don't go for him. In my opinion, if you have no intention of marrying him, does it really matter if he's not a good Muslim?

Reply 42

Rimipie

not religious at all so i woudnt mind

Reply 43

tazarooni89

RaJz92

Hell no! Muslim girls can only married to Muslim men according to the holy Quran. I know it is not fair, but did you know Muslim men can marry to Christian or Jewish girls?

Errm... source please?

The Qur'an says "Do not marry your women off to Al-Mushrikun".
Al-Mushrikun are polytheists, or people who associate divinity with God, worshipping stone idols etc.
Even men can't marry these people.

Although according to the Qur'an, a Muslim man or woman (who assumedly has not had sex before marriage) may only mrry people who also have not had sex before marriage.

Reply 44

tazarooni89

NGyano

Dating *is* allowed in Islam, contrary to popular belief - but it is not dating in the traditional sense.
As in you can't be holding hands and kissing and having sex, and sitting alone together in the back seat of a cinema where nobody can see you etc. It is necessary to maintain chastity and modesty.

You can get to know each other though, talk to each other and meet up from beforehand (although preferably not in private).

Reply 45

tazarooni89

navalist

Because muslims accept Jesus and Moses as a messenger. So when they marry to a chirstian or jewish girl, muslim men will have regard to their religious and the messengers.
But according to the christianity and jewish; our messenger Muhammed is not accepted. So when a muslim girl marries to a christ men, christ men will not accept her messenger and may hurt her.
In order to protect muslim women, it is not allowed to marry to a men who is not muslim.
So it is exactly fair.
regards,

He may hurt her because she believes in one extra messenger? :confused:

Where exactly in the Qur'an does it say that a Muslim woman may only marry Muslim men?

Reply 46

ForAllOfThis

Circularmover

i just dont want girls to judge me over that one little thing...I was stupid...ive accepted what happened...i dont want to be depressed about it and i know i have to face God about it one day...but ive seriously been worried about in the future when im gonna have to tell the girl i love about what happened and it being awkward after. I mean...i dont even know how i would tell them.

Don't tell her/them? I mean how will she know if you have had sex or not (unless you have children obviously)? Your justified if you believe you should not have to pay for the mistake in not finding happiness again? More so why follow the religion if it doesn't make you happy, which it is clearly not by saying your depressed (directly/indirectly you choose)? You have many choices, and most of all free will so my advice would be to choose to do something about it :smile:

Reply 47

vortex_199

Muslim men are only allowed to marry Jewish and Christian women of chastity, by the way.

In regards to the OP, if he had sex before beginning to practice or before converting to Islam, but sincerely regretted it afterwards, then no, I wouldn't judge him or have a problem with that. If he thought it was okay or still engaged in it, then I honestly wouldn't be interested in him at all. A girl who abstains and keeps herself for her future husband should be entitled to the same treatment.

I know that some cultures have the boys thinking it's okay for them to do whatever while the girls sit around virtuously, but in Islam it's all the same. The Quran states that fornicating men should only marry fornicating women.

Reply 48

Anonymous #7

vortex_199

So what if a girl muslim boy/girl has sex before marriage, but then regrets it afterwards and never does it again until he/she gets married? Do you go straight to hell anyway, even if you sincerely repent?

I wouldn't mind if my husband had sex before marriage but repented - and sincerely repented.

As for being circumsized, do muslim converts have to be circumsized after they convert? If they don't, then it's not a problem. Also, I expect most born muslim men would be circumsized.

Reply 49

vortex_199

Anonymous

I don't think that you read my post properly. If he sincerely regretted it, then of course nobody would have the right to look down on him. Some Muslim girls would write him off straight away, but I honestly wouldn't mind. Everyone makes mistakes at some point in life. Sincere repentance is accepted by God. Why would he go to hell?

Reply 50

RaJz92

tazarooni89

Islamic Scholars

Reply 51

Anonymous #7

vortex_199

Yeah sorry I do completely agree. I just thought you go to hell for sure if you made the mistake of doing that.
It would be a little difficult though to tell your family or someone you wanna marry that you're not a virgin - even though you've repented. I reckon some people hold it against you, even if you're sorry about it.

Reply 52

Turbanator

Dubstepper

all bout muslims here. no1 wants to talk bout hindus 8-) lol

lets talk about them then :p:

Reply 53

vortex_199

Anonymous

Which is pretty sad, seeing that you'd only be wanting to be honest with your future partner.

Reply 54

Sishii

RaJz92

Hell no! Muslim girls can only married to Muslim men according to the holy Quran. I know it is not fair, but did you know Muslim men can marry to Christian or Jewish girls?

Yay!

Reply 55

Anonymous #3

Circularmover

you know wat i really admire your courage to ask for advice. it seems u have realised wat uv done and u seem really worried about ur future nw. if i met a guy in ur position in many years time hu had the heart to ask for forgiveness from allah and repent then i wouldnt hold a grudge against the non-virgin thing. as long as he dd tell me this before hand. its all aboutt trust ryt. as girls im sure they have had the odd date and so before marrige.maybe not as far to loose their viginity. but as society is today its understandable wat stuff goes on. tbh ur a guy...im sure ull get away with it lmao!

Reply 56

Mask Of Sanity

Yes, of course, to the extent where I'd feel the need to castrate the sinning bastard.

Reply 57

RaJz92

Sishii

Yay!

Lol! I assume you are a christian person and are you fall in love with a Muslim guy?

Reply 58

Sishii

RaJz92

Lol! I assume you are a christian person and are you fall in love with a Muslim guy?

Haha... kind of sort of thing lol

Reply 59

tazarooni89

Anonymous

No - the only unforgivable sin, according to Islam, is associating partners in Allah's divinity, knowing full well that there is only one God, and that stone idols/dead people etc. can't help or harm you in any way.

I wouldn't mind if my husband had sex before marriage but repented - and sincerely repented.

How would you know if he sincerely repented though?

You'll find a lot of Muslim girls who are unwilling to marry people who have converted to Islam, or people who have had sex before marriage etc. for the reason that you can never really be sure whether the repentance is genuine. He could just be saying that to get you to marry him.

Although I'd say that as long as you personally are satisfied that the repentance is genuine, then it's fine, because it's your intention that counts.

As for being circumsized, do muslim converts have to be circumsized after they convert? If they don't, then it's not a problem. Also, I expect most born muslim men would be circumsized.