This discussion is now closed.

Check out other Related discussions

My boring ex still wants to be friends. How can I get out of it?

I dated my ex for an entire year, though now I am totally bewildered as to how I put up with him for this long. He is the most boring, irritating person, with nothing interesting to say... 12 months was a lonnng time with him and eventually we broke up just for distance reasons, ironically, though I never really saw it going anywhere. We broke up last October and I started with my current boyfriend in January, who I actually love and have tonnes in common with.

Basically whenever my ex is back from uni he is always ringing/texting/facebooking me about when we can meet up! We ended amicably but I don't really have any interest in a friendship with him, for aforementioned reasons. He also seems to see me as some kind of free relationship counselling service (hmm, maybe I should introduce him to TSR H&R!) and is constantly whining to me about his girl problems - he's had one girlfriend since me for about six months who, as far as I can see, was a liar and just stamped all over him.

But the bottom line is I am sick of being sympathetic; I'm not interested in him and I find him verrrry annoying. I don't want to upset him however, we did spend quite a nice year together. Ways to avoid it?

Reply 1

Snookercraze

12

Erm, you can either blank him, or tell him straight up. I don't see any other possible ways for you.

Reply 2

*Star*Guitar*

17

I don't think you can avoid it. I would personally explain it to him.

Reply 3

_Ravi_

10

Agree to meet him then don't turn up. Actions speak louder than words.

Reply 4

Anonymous #1

OP

*Star*Guitar*

I don't think you can avoid it. I would personally explain it to him.

But that will really upset him! Plus it will sound pretty odd: "I dated you for a year and saw you about every other day but now I find you so god damn irritating I can't bear to spend an afternoon with you three times a year."

Reply 5

Zap Brannigan

Tell him that he is not terribly important to you.

Reply 6

neiljeff123

14

you dont come across as the type of person id be desperate to stay in touch with

Reply 7

Anonymous #1

OP

neiljeff123

you dont come across as the type of person id be desperate to stay in touch with

A bit irrelevant that though, isn't it?

Reply 8

*Star*Guitar*

17

Anonymous

But that will really upset him! Plus it will sound pretty odd: "I dated you for a year and saw you about every other day but now I find you so god damn irritating I can't bear to spend an afternoon with you three times a year."

You found him boring before, you said so yourself! I don't get why he'd be like that, you obviously split for a reason - I don't want anything to do with my exes because its just never a good idea. You have to be cruel to be kind. Tell him for both your sakes.

Reply 9

OrmondDrone

14

It took you a year to figure out that he didn't have anything interesting to say?

Tell him straight you don't want to be friends - he deserves friends that like him for who he is and aren't fakes.

Reply 10

alenax

14

Just tell him you're really busy and don't have time to meet up with him.

Reply 11

Anonymous #1

OP

OrmondDrone

It took you a year to figure out that he didn't have anything interesting to say?

I always knew it, but it seemed better to be with him than alone. He was very keen on me, and I fond of him.

Reply 12

OrmondDrone

14

Anonymous

I always knew it, but it seemed better to be with him than alone. He was very keen on me, and I fond of him.

So you were using him til you found someone better....

Reply 13

Anonymous #1

OP

OrmondDrone

So you were using him til you found someone better....

Not using... the way I saw it, he really wanted to be with me and I was happy to be with him. We had a good year. But yes, I did treat him a bit badly considering how much he cared.

Reply 14

Buster_Bunny

9

Fake your death.

Reply 15

One Man Clique

13

Just put up with him. It's not like you have to see that much. There are plenty of people from my old home town who I tolerate rather than look forward to seeing. Can you not meet your ex as part of a group rather than just you and him on your own? Is he not part of your old friendship group?

Reply 16

Joanna May

15

OrmondDrone

So you were using him til you found someone better....

Is that relevant to the scenario at all? She doesn't want to be with him, or be friends with him. What happened in the past is fairly irrelevant. Why bother coming into a thread just to judge her, when she hasn't exactly done anything abhorrent?

OP, just don't make the effort with him. You aren't obligated to be his friend. Either tell him you just don't think you have that much in common, so meeting up would be awkward. Or just don't reply to him. He'll take the hint eventually.

Reply 17

gers

Blank his texts that would sound nice and quite funny for you.

Reply 18

phonebooth

you're mean
i think you should just suck it up 3 times a year is not like a massive amount of time!

similary you could just tell him that your new guy is getting jealous and so maybe he should cool the chating and meeting up and soo like se him once etc
but dont cut him out completely

Reply 19

sandro

8

you sound really mean

Maybe learn to be a nicer person,

The least thing you can offer is bit of free counselling!
You were together for a whole year

My boring ex still wants to be friends. How can I get out of it?

Related discussions

Articles for you