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Memoir
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#1
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#1
This what it all is, if your wondering.


*There is a sale on any item, you buy 100 of them.

* You make tea in a saucepan.
* You never buy bin bags, but use your saved grocery bags for it.

* You have a 'Singer Brother' sewing machine at home.

* Your mother has a minor disagreement with her sister and doesn't talk to her for ten years.

* You call an older person you've never met before "uncle".
* You hide everything from your parents.

* Your mother does everything for you if you are male.
* You do most the housework and cooking if you are female.

* Your relatives alone could populate a small city.

* Everyone is a family friend.
* You went to a university as far away from home as possible.

* You still came back home to live with your parents after you had finished.
* Your best friend got married at the age of 18.

* You only make telephone calls after 6pm.

* You eat onions with everything.
* You use chilli sauce instead of tomato ketchup.

* You say you hate Indian films(/songs) but secretly watch(/hear) them with your parents.

* You teach Westerners swearwords in your language.

* You avoid public places when with a member of the old age crew.
* You always say "open the light" instead of "turn the light on".

* You secure your baggage with a rope.
* You're walking out of customs with your trolley at the airport and you see all fifteen members of your family who have come to pick you up.

* You get very upset when airlines refuse to accept your luggage which is just 80 lbs. overweight.

* You ask your dad a simple question and he tells you story of how he had to walk miles barefoot just to get to school.
* (For females) You're parents would freak out if you wore a crop top baring your midriff but wearing a sari is perfectly acceptable.

* (For females) Your brother had no curfew while you had to be home at 11pm.
* You are ALWAYS taking off and putting on your shoes wherever you go.

* When you were little you always wondered why your English friends waited until after breakfast to brush their teeth when you did it first thing in the morning.

* To your English friends, oil is used purely for cooking and not as a grooming aid.
* When your English friends cringe at the thought of their parents in bed, you wonder how odd it would be to see your parents get within one foot of each other.

* Your parents have nicknames but only because people they work with just stop when trying to read their names.
* You have annoying nicknames like Chotu or Chicku.

* Your parents call all your friends "Beta" whether they are Asian or not.

* Your parents drink 6 cups of tea a day.
* Your friends could not explain your religion to someone even if they tried their hardest.

* Your parents push the concept of an arranged marriage on you and try and demonstrate how well it works whenever they're not fighting.
* Your parents compare you to all of their friends kids or your older brothers and sisters.

* No one ever seems to call ahead of time to say they are coming over for a visit.

* Your parents worry what other people will think if you're not going to be a doctor/ lawyer/dentist etc.
* You're parent's always say, "It's cheaper in wilkinsons"

* At the end of a meal, you're parents and friends etc take to picking their teeth (with toothpicks) in the most unsavoury manner
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Pegasus
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#2
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#2
It's funny cos its true
Here's another list I found with some you missed out:


your parents still tried to get you into places half-price saying you were 12 when you were really 15.
you ask your parents help on one math problem and 2 hours later they're still lecturing.
you have a 40 lb. bag of rice in your pantry.
everyone thinks you're "Indian" no matter what part of South Asia your ancestors were from.
your parents enjoy comparing you to their friends' kids.
you've had to sit through videos with scantily clad, ugly Asian women attempting to dance and walk around a temple, forest or library.
your parents say, "Don't forget your heritage."
you've learned to keep bargaining even if the prices are rock bottom.
you know what's going to happen in every Hindi movie before it happens
piles of shoes tend to make it hard to open the front, back and closet doors.
you're father and grandfathers have hair on their ears
idiot people try to impress you with pathetic imitation Asian languages
at least one family member wears black wire/plastic frame glasses
your parents hover over your tired, caffeine-drugged body at 12 midnight to say, "In India (or other native country), we studied even more."
your parents expect you'll be best friends with any one off the street in any given area as long as they are Asian.
an Asian woman comes on campus and people ask: "Is that your mother? Well then, is it your sister?"
your relatives' houses smell like incense, mothballs or both
your parents say, "Calculus? I took calculus in 8th grade!!"
everyone thinks you're good at maths.
your aunts and uncles bring you back adorable clothing From Asia with fuzzy bunnies, vinyl ducks and English words that make no sense, in great colors like yellow, pink, magenta, orange and the ever popular lime green.
your parents insist you marry within your race.
you learned about the birds and the bees from someone other than your parents
"You want a stereo!" When I was your age, I didn't even have shoes!!"
you have to call just about all your parent's friends "Auntie and Uncle."
you have 12+ aunts and uncles from both your mother's and your father's side
at expensive restaurants, you order a delicious glass of water for your beverage and NEVER order dessert.
your parents simply cut the green/black part off the bread and say "Eat it anyway. It's still good."
the vast majority of the people related to you wear glasses. Thick glasses.
you will most likely be taller than your parents.
you get nothing if you do well in school, but crapped on if you don't
when going to other peoples' houses, you always have to bring a gift.
your dad still pulls his socks up to his knees, you know, the ones with the blue and pink stripes at the top.
your family owns a tennis racquet.
the furniture in your house never matches the wallpaper, the carpet, the decorations or any of the rest of the furniture.
you have rocks, sticks, leaves and strange-smelling, unknown substances in your pantry for use as medicine.
you own a rice cooker or two
you buy corn oil by the gallon.
your family owns butcher knives bigger than your head.
your parents tell you about how long it took for them to get to school, how horrible the weather was in their native country, and how much they still appreciated going
your parents buy you clothes and shoes many sizes too big so you can "grow into it" and wear it for years to come."
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Svivafia
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#3
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HAHAHA!!! Sooo many of these are completely true!!!!! Thanx for the laugh~*
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AT82
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Its a bit racist but some things on there are true. For example the Singh family of Manchester. Its quite scray as all these people I have never seen in my life before keep going upto and saying "hiya Ian hows it going at Salford" etc. And I am like who are you the reply "I am Bobby's cousin twice removeds uncle's best friends son" and Iam like ok so how do you know me, they go "I was with Bobby and he pointed me out".

They are a very friendly bunch they run my local kwiksave and I can't go in without seeing all these strangers that know me!

Its quite cool being famous in that family.
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pkonline
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#5
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#5
LOL this is very good stuff!
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GK1
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#6
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#6
yup, this is definitely interesting.
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tagzt
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#7
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#7
lololololololool

How true!
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curryADD
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#8
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#8
(Original post by amazingtrade)
Its a bit racist but some things on there are true. For example the Singh family of Manchester. Its quite scray as all these people I have never seen in my life before keep going upto and saying "hiya Ian hows it going at Salford" etc. And I am like the who the **** are you the reply "I am Bobby's cousin twice removeds uncle's best friends son" and Iam like ok so how do you know me, they go "I was with Bobby and he pointed me out".

They are a very friendly bunch they run my local kwiksave and I can't go in without seeing all these strangers that know me!

Its quite cool being famous in that family.
VERY VERY FUNNI
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Sire
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#9
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#9
Uhmm right, ok, gotcha, yup, yep, hmmm
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Anna
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#10
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#10
(Original post by Memoir)
This what it all is, if your wondering.


*There is a sale on any item, you buy 100 of them.

* You make tea in a saucepan.
* You never buy bin bags, but use your saved grocery bags for it.

* You have a 'Singer Brother' sewing machine at home.

* Your mother has a minor disagreement with her sister and doesn't talk to her for ten years.

* You call an older person you've never met before "uncle".
* You hide everything from your parents.

* Your mother does everything for you if you are male.
* You do most the housework and cooking if you are female.

* Your relatives alone could populate a small city.

* Everyone is a family friend.
* You went to a university as far away from home as possible.

* You still came back home to live with your parents after you had finished.
* Your best friend got married at the age of 18.

* You only make telephone calls after 6pm.

* You eat onions with everything.
* You use chilli sauce instead of tomato ketchup.

* You say you hate Indian films(/songs) but secretly watch(/hear) them with your parents.

* You teach Westerners swearwords in your language.

* You avoid public places when with a member of the old age crew.
* You always say "open the light" instead of "turn the light on".

* You secure your baggage with a rope.
* You're walking out of customs with your trolley at the airport and you see all fifteen members of your family who have come to pick you up.

* You get very upset when airlines refuse to accept your luggage which is just 80 lbs. overweight.

* You ask your dad a simple question and he tells you story of how he had to walk miles barefoot just to get to school.
* (For females) You're parents would freak out if you wore a crop top baring your midriff but wearing a sari is perfectly acceptable.

* (For females) Your brother had no curfew while you had to be home at 11pm.
* You are ALWAYS taking off and putting on your shoes wherever you go.

* When you were little you always wondered why your English friends waited until after breakfast to brush their teeth when you did it first thing in the morning.

* To your English friends, oil is used purely for cooking and not as a grooming aid.
* When your English friends cringe at the thought of their parents in bed, you wonder how odd it would be to see your parents get within one foot of each other.

* Your parents have nicknames but only because people they work with just stop when trying to read their names.
* You have annoying nicknames like Chotu or Chicku.

* Your parents call all your friends "Beta" whether they are Asian or not.

* Your parents drink 6 cups of tea a day.
* Your friends could not explain your religion to someone even if they tried their hardest.

* Your parents push the concept of an arranged marriage on you and try and demonstrate how well it works whenever they're not fighting.
* Your parents compare you to all of their friends kids or your older brothers and sisters.

* No one ever seems to call ahead of time to say they are coming over for a visit.

* Your parents worry what other people will think if you're not going to be a doctor/ lawyer/dentist etc.
* You're parent's always say, "It's cheaper in wilkinsons"

* At the end of a meal, you're parents and friends etc take to picking their teeth (with toothpicks) in the most unsavoury manner

thats interesting but quite racist. Im half indian and a lot of that stuff doesn't apply to me. I know loads of indian families and only some of those things apply to them, but not all.
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_EMMA_
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(Original post by Anna)
thats interesting but quite racist. Im half indian and a lot of that stuff doesn't apply to me. I know loads of indian families and only some of those things apply to them, but not all.
i agree, this seems to be mostly prejudices with no real facts behind
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Anna
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#12
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#12
(Original post by _EMMA_)
i agree, this seems to be mostly prejudices with no real facts behind
exactly,its just people with there stupid stereotypical views.
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curryADD
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#13
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(Original post by Anna)
exactly,its just people with there stupid stereotypical views.
yes, but its still funny
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acidbubble
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damn funny
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matouwah
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#15
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hmm.....i bet if someone posted something similar about blacks this thread would recieve more adverse comments...
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_EMMA_
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(Original post by matouwah)
hmm.....i bet if someone posted something similar about blacks this thread would recieve more adverse comments...
i think so to
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Anna
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#17
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(Original post by curryADD)
yes, but its still funny
i dont find it that funny.
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curryADD
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#18
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#18
(Original post by Anna)
i dont find it that funny.
of course not, your indian...feel free to tell racist jokes about texans and then i will get mad too
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matouwah
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#19
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#19
no need for jokes then....bush is from texas....
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_EMMA_
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#20
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#20
(Original post by curryADD)
of course not, your indian...feel free to tell racist jokes about texans and then i will get mad too
i acctually thinks it is more than that, these prejudices or all prejudices about texans as well will make people think of you in some way you aren't. if you are going to hate me don't hate for who you think i am hate me for who i am
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