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can anybody offer me any advice please? watch

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    Ok, so I don't really know where to start but im just asking for some other opinions, I've been told that I should see someone about my problems.

    I've been told I have low self esteem because I 'constantly put myself down' but I don't really think there is a problem with this because its not like I do it to any extreme, just like that I'm not good at things, or that I'm ugly etc... but to me this is just something that everybody does, its not low self esteem its just low confidence and I have always had low confidence but it has got so much better in the last few years so its really hard to be basically told that its still not good enough and I need to improve even though I have so much already.

    I went to see a councillor about this and she said that she couldn't do much for me which was fair enough but I've again got the feeling that i didn't try hard enough with this. What more could i have done when she didn't think i needed help.

    Also its been suggested that i might be depressed which i might agree with to a certain extent because i have been very upset a lot in the past 6 months, basically i had a really bad first year at uni, i didnt enjoy the course i was on, didn't make many (if any) friends and messed up my 3 year relationship at the same time. The relationship is getting back on track but I still feel I'm not good enough for my boyfriend because I'm upset a lot and he keeps suggesting things like seeing the councillor etc and i have tried a few of them but they just arent for me, so he thinks i haven't tried hard enough when i have tried so hard to be right for him.

    ok, sorry for the really long rambly post, i tired to keep it brief, basically my question is, should i see a doctor for depression or do something else or just ignore all the bad feelings?

    thanks if you read it all x
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    Ok, well, most of it is down to you. You've been told that you have low self-esteem, but what do you think? only you really know what you think of yourself.
    You have a boyfriend who's been with you for three years, you got into Uni, even if you didn't enjoy it, you have counsellors available-you're not doing too badly!!!
    Just try and tell your bf how you feel, and tell him that you are trying, it's just hard.
    Good luck, hun, hope everything goes well, stay strong!!!
    xxx
    :kiss:
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Ok, so I don't really know where to start but im just asking for some other opinions, I've been told that I should see someone about my problems.

    I've been told I have low self esteem because I 'constantly put myself down' but I don't really think there is a problem with this because its not like I do it to any extreme, just like that I'm not good at things, or that I'm ugly etc... but to me this is just something that everybody does, its not low self esteem its just low confidence and I have always had low confidence but it has got so much better in the last few years so its really hard to be basically told that its still not good enough and I need to improve even though I have so much already.

    I went to see a councillor about this and she said that she couldn't do much for me which was fair enough but I've again got the feeling that i didn't try hard enough with this. What more could i have done when she didn't think i needed help.

    Also its been suggested that i might be depressed which i might agree with to a certain extent because i have been very upset a lot in the past 6 months, basically i had a really bad first year at uni, i didnt enjoy the course i was on, didn't make many (if any) friends and messed up my 3 year relationship at the same time. The relationship is getting back on track but I still feel I'm not good enough for my boyfriend because I'm upset a lot and he keeps suggesting things like seeing the councillor etc and i have tried a few of them but they just arent for me, so he thinks i haven't tried hard enough when i have tried so hard to be right for him.

    ok, sorry for the really long rambly post, i tired to keep it brief, basically my question is, should i see a doctor for depression or do something else or just ignore all the bad feelings?
    thanks if you read it all x
    You can't ignore all the bad feelings forever so yes, I would say the best thing is to see a doctor. Good luck!
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    (Original post by Maevis)
    Ok, well, most of it is down to you. You've been told that you have low self-esteem, but what do you think? only you really know what you think of yourself.
    You have a boyfriend who's been with you for three years, you got into Uni, even if you didn't enjoy it, you have counsellors available-you're not doing too badly!!!
    Just try and tell your bf how you feel, and tell him that you are trying, it's just hard.
    Good luck, hun, hope everything goes well, stay strong!!!
    xxx
    :kiss:

    thanks the thing is though, he's told me to stop telling him how i feel and tell someone else because he doesn't think he can help, but you see the thing is i think he can help, all i want is for him to tell me that everything is fine and will be ok, but he cant seem to do this any more. And i don't want to be forever moaning at him because i know he doesnt like me when im like that so i try not to be like that around him but then that doesnt seem to work either. He still doesn't think things are any better when i think they are.

    I've spoken to my mum about the feelings about myself and she just said its fine to feel like that, and that shes like that and she seems happy enough in herself and her life. My friend said pretty much the same as my mum so in getting conflicting advice and i don't know which to listen to because i think my image of myself is fine, just low confidence. but obviously it still is an issue with my boyfriend and i don't know what to do about it because everytime i think about how he thinks i feel about myself it gets me even more down.
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    How long has this been going on? Cos if it has been a long time, then maybe that's why your bf is annoyed. Not that he's entitled to be tho!! You're his girlfriend, he should be looking out for you!!
    Thing is, you've been to see counsellors, and you've talked to your mum and friend, and now you're on this site for advice, so I really don't see what more he can expect you to do.
    Even though your mum and friend are happy, or seem to be, it's defferent for everyone. But it seems like the main thing getting you down atm is your bf!
    Talk to him again, and just say that you feel fine-your self-esteem is good, you've got a more positive outlook on life and that you're ready to throw yourself back into the relationship!
    BUT ONLY IF YOU REALLY ARE!!
    What do you think??
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    (Original post by Maevis)
    How long has this been going on? Cos if it has been a long time, then maybe that's why your bf is annoyed. Not that he's entitled to be tho!! You're his girlfriend, he should be looking out for you!!
    Thing is, you've been to see counsellors, and you've talked to your mum and friend, and now you're on this site for advice, so I really don't see what more he can expect you to do.
    Even though your mum and friend are happy, or seem to be, it's defferent for everyone. But it seems like the main thing getting you down atm is your bf!
    Talk to him again, and just say that you feel fine-your self-esteem is good, you've got a more positive outlook on life and that you're ready to throw yourself back into the relationship!
    BUT ONLY IF YOU REALLY ARE!!
    What do you think??
    I am completely ready for that, its what I have been trying to do for the past 6 months and its not been easy and other things have been happening as well. I just want him to realise how much i am trying, but i dont want to bring it up because it always ends badly when i try to say things or ask him what he thinks and anyway now he has stopped telling me what he thinks because he doesn't want to upset me which is upsetting me even more because i just want to know his feelings
    Meh, im sorry, im ranting again. its just im not good at keeping things in emotion wise and most of the time i feel im being told to just get over it but i dont know how!
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    oh dear lol serious anon fail there
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    (Original post by loopykitten!)
    oh dear lol serious anon fail there
    lol!
    Well sounds like a bit of a mess lol!
    But at least you know he cares? Cos he's trying to save your feelings?
    Don't worry about the ranting, I myself am prone to the occasional outburst (check out the cocky fool!!! thread)!:yep:
    But yeah, I think that what you really need to do is to sit down with your bf and tell him everything you've put down here.
    Tell him that you are sorry about being a bit up and down the past few weeks/months/whatever (this will loosen him up a bit) and that you want to ge back to normal. you value his opinion and you need him to communicate with you in order to fully commit yourself to the relationship. (or words to that effect-I realise that stinks of a Sally/Trisha interview but yeah)
    Does that sound OK? Hope I'm helping, but if my absurd wittering isn't, then tell me lol!!
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    (Original post by Maevis)
    (or words to that effect-I realise that stinks of a Sally/Trisha interview but yeah)
    Does that sound OK? Hope I'm helping, but if my absurd wittering isn't, then tell me lol!!
    Haha, no you are being really helpful and its nice to see what an outsider thinks

    I think we might have to talk about it but i will have to make sure i stay calm and dont get upset otherwise things will be worse.

    thank you
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    Hey you checked out my thread!!! Yaay!!
    Thank you for your words of advice I think I may follow them
    Good luck with the whole bf situation, you will have to contact me to let it know how it goes, yes??
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    (Original post by Maevis)
    Hey you checked out my thread!!! Yaay!!
    Thank you for your words of advice I think I may follow them
    Good luck with the whole bf situation, you will have to contact me to let it know how it goes, yes??

    Indeed i did look hope it was helpful.

    Yeh i will let ya know what happens thanks
 
 
 
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