This discussion is now closed.

Check out other Related discussions

Is my life pathetic?

Not much 2 say

sorry but i'm not in a position to say whether people have a right to be hsppy/ miserable. have trouble convincin i shouldn't be miserable!

Reply 2

saz_1989

2

if you're miserable then something in your life isn't right. and everyone has a right to be miserable if that's the case. it's when people aren't satisfied when what they have is good, and people would love to have what they have.

but obviously sometimes people are depressed and that's a mental illness and can't be helped.

Reply 3

username18215

0

10

I think the "tough love" approach came from the manner of the complaint not the content.

Reply 4

**noooni**

3

of coarse you have the right to feel down, but also we must appreciate that others are far off worse, and that if you feel miserable without the problems they have then just imagine if you were in their shoes, if we realise that then when we come out of our miserable phase then we wont forget about those who are really suffering. it really annoys me when ppl i know go through such little dilema's and act as if their world is falling down, while i have to give support and be there ..... when i am in a worst position, no one is there.....
saying that i suppose everyone thinks their problems are worst than others'

i hope that makes sense..

hope u feel better soon :smile:

Reply 5

Angel_Cake

2

md_red_uk

I think the "tough love" approach came from the manner of the complaint nor the content.

Agreed! Especially the bit where he said the guy who'd just had his leg amputated was better off than him...

To be honest, if people just looked on the bright side a bit more, perhaps everyone would be a bit happier! Everyone seems to be depressed/insecure/miserable these days.

Reply 6

username18215

0

10

Angel_Cake

Agreed! Especially the bit where he said the guy who'd just had his leg amputated was better off than him...

To be honest, if people just looked on the bright side a bit more, perhaps everyone would be a bit happier! Everyone seems to be depressed/insecure/miserable these days.

I'd say exam-related.

Reply 7

Apricot Fairy

16

What's annoying is when people post threads like, "X says he loves me and wants my babies, but my boyfriend Y wants me too, and he showers me with presents and takes me to dinner every night, and then there's this guy Z who I kind like as well.....what do I do?" when some of us would just like to have one person to love them. :frown:

Reply 8

Ferret_messiah

8

If you want to feel down you have to fill in a complaint form in triplicate and submit it to the Central Bureaucracy. Your submission will be reviewed by a sub-committee and pending full evaluation you'll be issued a short-term misery license.

Reply 9

jpowell

15

Let us not forget that depression is caused by chemical imbalances in the brain. It is a real thing and can be the result of a lot of different causes. I don't think labelling people as selfish for being depressed because they could be worse is helpful at all.

If you really feel that you are depressed then you should a see a doctor and try and get referred for counselling.

Reply 10

nikk

15

Queen_A

I was reading the thread from 'my life is pathetic' - & I was impressed with your 'tough love' approach - you really could drive a man to suicide! I have a question: Do you think some people have the right to be miserable? Is there a point when you can be like: Have no job - check; mother has cancer check; living with rats - check. Now I can be miserable?

If I live in a lovely house, have a perfectly normal family, and go to a good school - am I therefore supposed to be comforted by the fact that someone down the road's dog just died???

p.s. I have realised that this mayb isn't appropriate for this section - but personally I am miserable, AND 'on paper' I shouldn't be.

I think the thing that annoyed people on the other thread was his attitude that his problems are far worse than anyone elses in the world. That just annoys people that are actually in a worse situation than he is and not moaning about it. It wasn't about him being miserable per se.

Reply 11

Neocortex

Queen_A

I was reading the thread from 'my life is pathetic' - & I was impressed with your 'tough love' approach - you really could drive a man to suicide! I have a question: Do you think some people have the right to be miserable? Is there a point when you can be like: Have no job - check; mother has cancer check; living with rats - check. Now I can be miserable?

If I live in a lovely house, have a perfectly normal family, and go to a good school - am I therefore supposed to be comforted by the fact that someone down the road's dog just died???

p.s. I have realised that this mayb isn't appropriate for this section - but personally I am miserable, AND 'on paper' I shouldn't be.

as others said it depends how a person is. I say my dad had a much worse fortune than him by far coming down from pure hard work to make his way to what he has done so far without complaining about govt. lack of support etc.

You do what you have and imporve yourself. Yes one has right to be miserable at times but must move on and learn. especially when the complain is not reasonabe as the person you meant in the other topic. And seeking comfort online isn't really the best way in a forum anyways for anything serious. I have seen alot of people doing these in other forums to attract attention to themselves. They need to get a life to be honest.

Reply 12

white_haired_wizard

16

Yes i think everyone, whatever their circumstances, has the right to feel miserable and be miserable, but its different if it is vented outside their own sphere in ridiculous over-abundance - i have no respect for that. Be really píssed off, be down, be miserable, but just try not to burden someone else with it, or as few outsiders to your own self as little as possible. I feel down occasionally, but i feel it my own duty to keep my feelings to myself as people have enough problems of their own...and burdening someone else with additional loading of worries is a bit unfair. Sometimes it is ok to vent it out, especially if there is a collective misery because then it isn't so one-sided, but you just have to be careful with singularl misery...you don't want to gain the reputation of something of a misery guts or weigh your friend/family down as a result of such ranting!

But yes, by all means, be privately miserable!

Reply 13

saz_1989

2

the people who are genuinely unhappy dont make a song and dance about it, and you wouldn't know they were unhappy to talk to them, except for some of the things they say.

Reply 14

khil

15

Queen_A

I was reading the thread from 'my life is pathetic' - & I was impressed with your 'tough love' approach - you really could drive a man to suicide! I have a question: Do you think some people have the right to be miserable? Is there a point when you can be like: Have no job - check; mother has cancer check; living with rats - check. Now I can be miserable?

If I live in a lovely house, have a perfectly normal family, and go to a good school - am I therefore supposed to be comforted by the fact that someone down the road's dog just died???

p.s. I have realised that this mayb isn't appropriate for this section - but personally I am miserable, AND 'on paper' I shouldn't be.

I think the trick is - be satisfied with what you have. It doesn't mean you can't be miserable, but just be happy that you have what you have, and carry on. Cus being miserable don't do you any favours, whereas looking on the bright side serves to cheer you a bit, and make you carry on til you're through. Going through the tunnel is always hard but once you're on the other side, it's always worth it.

And I woudln't say you should be "comforted" by other people's misfortunes - that's like pointing the finger and laughing, ah I'm better off than you! But you should merely realise - there's still a lot of good in your life, so there's reason to carry on.

There isn't a point where you are "qualified" to be miserable - but then again if you are depressed you end up getting to wrapped up on your own pain and all that merely leads to self-destruction. It's ok to be hurt and it's ok to be miserable - people need time to let it out, need time to heal and move forward - these things don't happen overnight. But each step you take and each tear you cry should be an effort of healing and moving on - and it's ok to need support, people often do. I don't suppose people often understand other people's sorrows and they can't know the extent of the pain - so you are better off but it still hurts - it doesn't stop hurting just cus you may be richer. What we should avoid is being too wrapped up in ourselves and giving up - it often helps you heal if you look at others and not yourself, hard though it is. Time is needed for yourself - that's a necessity - but there's also time to look forward, and not down anymore :smile:

Just some thoughts. I'm lucky to have a few very good friends who've been with me and listened to me ramble and watched me cry and they've supported me throughout. They reminded me what's important, while giving me space to cry and ultimately to heal. You can't help sometimes but to think there can't be anything worse than what you're going through - God knows I still feel that nothing can feel worse than when my heart was broken from a break-up, even though I know there is. But we only know the pain we feel - we don't feel others, not to the same extent.

Reply 15

khil

15

wizard

Yes i think everyone, whatever their circumstances, has the right to feel miserable and be miserable, but its different if it is vented outside their own sphere in ridiculous over-abundance - i have no respect for that. Be really píssed off, be down, be miserable, but just try not to burden someone else with it, or as few outsiders to your own self as little as possible. I feel down occasionally, but i feel it my own duty to keep my feelings to myself as people have enough problems of their own...and burdening someone else with additional loading of worries is a bit unfair. Sometimes it is ok to vent it out, especially if there is a collective misery because then it isn't so one-sided, but you just have to be careful with singularl misery...you don't want to gain the reputation of something of a misery guts or weigh your friend/family down as a result of such ranting!

But yes, by all means, be privately miserable!

Well different people merely deal with their emotions differently. It's great that you like to deal things on your own - that's fine, it's your way. But friends are there to listen, to share the burden, as well - they're not just there for fun. If they only stick by you during the happy times and desert you when you're down and find your annoying - what sort of a friend is that!? That is not a friend at all - that's an aquaintance, and I would be smart enough not to tell them at all.

Bottling things up don't do you any favours - although I suppose with people who don't generally talk they probably have a way of dealing with that. But sometimes you just need to talk, let it out. It's how I deal with it - I ramble, and when there's no more to say, that's when I reach the end of my rope - then I just cry. It's just my way of letting it out - I don't keep it inside it'd kill me. And talking - especially writing it down - helps me think so much better. I get answers to month-long questions all of a sudden cus I might be writing it down in an email.

Although I only do the rambling if people have the time and actually care. I'm the sort who don't force people - if I'm not wlecomed, I leave of my own accord cus what's the point? If people are busy or they don't care, I don't burden them. But if they care and they ask, then I talk about it. I don't like telling people how upset I am - I never let it show - but if you asked me how I am, and you're a trusted friend, then I'd tell you all of it. However if it's just general people asking me, I just say I'm fine. I only really talk when someone asks me. There is however this woman I often turn to, and I ramble on pages in an email to her - and she replies, bless her - we've never even met - she's like 54, lives in Washington. I really appreciate her caring. I often write poems too - but nobody reads those. I'd come back months later and read them and think - whoa why on earth was I so upset?

I mean, only a narrow few people knew the extent of the hurt I felt when me and my ex broke up - the rest knew about the break up, but they didn't see me cry. And nobody save some of my Christian friends knew I was suicidal for like half a year. I'd talk if you asked and I trusted you - but I wouldn't just come out with it, I don't like doing that. But I do need someone to talk to if I'm upset.

Reply 16

Ariel4

1

Ferret_messiah

If you want to feel down you have to fill in a complaint form in triplicate and submit it to the Central Bureaucracy. Your submission will be reviewed by a sub-committee and pending full evaluation you'll be issued a short-term misery license.

hahaha!
i think everyone has a right to be miserable. but i think people should understand that a lot of people are a lot worse of than them.

Reply 17

habosh

13

I disagree with alot of you,it's not that you should have your house exploading to be unhappy you cant control your sadness ,I mean I've got a hell alot of reasons to be happy for and in the same time I've got stuff that anyhuman would really feel bad about it,I can't deny I sometimes seek for attention because I've got some negative energy I just wanna let it out,like moan to someone ,talking to somebody or saying my problem really makes me fee alot better

Reply 18

guilly

of course people have the "right" to feel miserable what kind of a question is that?!! so u really feel u need the permission of other people to feel a certain way? the problem with most people is that they always wanna be classified as something. miserable,happy,successful whatever and they feel the need to let everyone know about it so they can be classified.

well how about this thought? maybe being happy is just an illusion. maybe being depressed is nothing but an illusion.life doesnt work in that way.life isnt constant and its not something u have complete control over.things are always changing. life is full of ups and downs, it would be boring if it never changed. you're born with certain things and the rest is up to u and some circumstances that u wont even be able to control. what u need to do is actually get a life and stop coming on the internet seeking sympathy from other people who u want to tell u that u have the right to be sympathy. i could easily say i have the "right" to be miserable. i come go to a nice skool etc.. but i have two parents who both have pretty serious alchohol problems and i was sexually abused on more than one occasion when i was a kid. its something not every1 wants to talk about because its a very taboo issue. but it happens to more people than u would think.

sure i could just sit around and seek reassurance from other people. but for ****s sake just go and do something for urself and stop being an idiot. most people honestly couldnt give a damn about the problems of other people, theyre too busy dealing with their own. infact alot of people secretly enjoy seeing others fail and their pain. which explains alot why people love to look at celebrities marriages failing and seeing them go to rehab or see "freaks" like michael jackson.

all the things that happen to a person in their life, its all just about the way they react to them. say you comletely fail in something, and this makes u rly depressed. one person may react to it by drugs, booze etc.. and actually end up killing themselves, while another person will use this to make themselves stronger and go on to do something even better with themselves. the line between these two people is often very thin.

what im trying to say is that maybe there rly is no such thing as these feelings that society call happines and unhapiness.life is full of feelings that just succeed each other. humans are above all selfish, they dont rly give a damn about you. the few people that you find in ur life that truly do care about you, u should hang on to, because there wont be many. and another thing, humans are never satisfied. its just natural.whatever we have, or feel, it can always be a bit more or a bit better

just concentrate on making urself "happy" and not caring too much what other people think and ull feel better

Reply 19

white_haired_wizard

16

Lozza

the people who are genuinely unhappy dont make a song and dance about it, and you wouldn't know they were unhappy to talk to them, except for some of the things they say.

thats very very true. Those genuinely unhappy usually tend to burden only themselves when they are very down...and it ends up very exhausting. I had a very down patch pre-xmas for about 7 weeks, and kept it all to myself at uni, and i think i coped very well inspite of how i was feeling - i think only one person had figured out there was something wrong....buts thats over now - im happy and cool. :smile:

Is my life pathetic?

Related discussions

Articles for you