Ugly. Watch

Anonymous #1
#1
Report Thread starter 9 years ago
#1
Please keep anon or delete.

Okay, well I've had low self esteem for a long time. Sometimes I've had patches where I look in the mirror and think I'm fairly attractive... most of the time I think I'm hideous. I'd describe myself, but I might as well let my friends at university help me out: balding, cold, bulging eyes. Variously I've been compared to Gollum, the guy from the Rocky Horror Show, and other monsters and freaks by my 'friends'. The rest of my face (and body) I'm insecure about but it's the receding hairline which really, really saps my confidence. I mean, who wants someone who's going bald?

That's the thing. All the girls I find attractive will never find me attractive. When I occasionally get people hitting on me it's usually very overweight girls or girls I don't find remotely attractive, physically or emotionally.

I see attractive people and I get so jealous, burning alive with envy. Why can't I have a full set of hair, at least, even if I've got to keep my horrible, withered body and ugly face? Then maybe I could be with someone I find attractive.

In the past I've been with girls who I did find attractive, although none of them were beautiful. Now, however, girls don't even look at me, let alone talk to me. If I talk to an attractive girl online she ignores me completely. I know I obsess over looks, but I've been bullied for a long time about my own.

Don't know what I expect anyone to say to this, just had to get it off my chest.
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Respect4Acting
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#2
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So... what am i suppose to say to this? You've just basically said your ugly and then ended it with a full stop.
What are you trying to get from the forums, I don't see how i can advise you in this situation unless you had some kind of problem/situation you forgot to add?

Anyway, the inside is a lot more important than the outside, take it from a 'good looking guy' with psychological issues, health > looks.
Last edited by Respect4Acting; 9 years ago
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Respect4Acting)
So... what am i suppose to say to this? You've just basically said your ugly and then ended it with a full stop.
You're not supposed to say anything, it was just a rant. I'm depressed for a number of reasons but primarily that one at the moment. I doubt anyone can offer any worthwhile advice.
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inksplodge
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#4
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Looks aren't everything... however, if you continue to let it affect your personality as well I can guarantee nobody will find you attractive. Ok, so you've lost a bit of hair. So what? If you have a bad body why don't you work out? Some things can easily be fixed. Girls often like a guy for the personality rather than the looks. If you can make them laugh and feel special you'll have their heart.
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Spleeny
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#5
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Personality is one of the most important things girls go for. Like obviously looks come into it as well, of course they do, but if you have an awesome personality it matters less.

The whole insecure thing is a real turn off. Lose that insecurity/jealousy and you'll start to get girls. Easier said than done though, maybe make friends with other people who won't put you down.
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Respect4Acting
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(Original post by Anonymous)
You're not supposed to say anything, it was just a rant. I'm depressed for a number of reasons but primarily that one at the moment. I doubt anyone can offer any worthwhile advice.
Then you got to do something about your life goals/ambitions to forget your feeling towards being socially 'unattractive' or whatever that words is suppose to mean, you have a chance to fight depression now, stop it before it becomes anxiety, panic attacks, chest pains, head pressure yada yada..

Sorry to be so blunt, but I'm just talking from experience.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Respect4Acting)
Then you got to do something about your life goals/ambitions to forget your feeling towards being socially 'unattractive' or whatever that words is suppose to mean, you have a chance to fight depression now stop it before it becomes anxiety, panic attacks, chest pains, head pressure yada yada..

Sorry to be so blunt, but I'm just talking from experience.
I've already had that, I've been suffering from depression and anxiety for years. Which makes working towards ambitions, goals or anything very hard. I don't see the point in many things really, I just want to sit in my room.
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Deano-101
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#8
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(Original post by inksplodge)
Looks aren't everything... however, if you continue to let it affect your personality as well I can guarantee nobody will find you attractive. Ok, so you've lost a bit of hair. So what? If you have a bad body why don't you work out? Some things can easily be fixed. Girls often like a guy for the personality rather than the looks. If you can make them laugh and feel special you'll have their heart.

This is golden advice, embrace it OP.
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Ryarn
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#9
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http://www.upstateforums.com/upload2/preparation-z.jpg

The answer to all your problems.
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SHABANA
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#10
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Why don't you shave all your hair off, that way it could just look like a style rather than hair loss.
Your body is something you can work on. It is not something you are stuck with. Not many people have a stunning face.
Personality does matter obviously but you even say yourself that the girls who talk to you (who must have a nice personality seeing as they are not judging you just by your looks) are not the type you want.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by inksplodge)
Looks aren't everything... however, if you continue to let it affect your personality as well I can guarantee nobody will find you attractive. Ok, so you've lost a bit of hair. So what? If you have a bad body why don't you work out? Some things can easily be fixed. Girls often like a guy for the personality rather than the looks. If you can make them laugh and feel special you'll have their heart.
I know how important confidence is but to be honest, there's some guys that most attractive girls would just never touch. Even if I did everything right, even if I was flawlessly charming - it doesn't matter, because I'm repulsive.
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ChaoticMaster
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#12
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If you have a receding hairline then go bald. It makes it appear your choice and you can make bald work. If you don't like your body then change it. Join a gym, get a nutrition plan and sort it out. Getting depressed will not help you, only action will.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by ChaoticMaster)
If you have a receding hairline then go bald. It makes it appear your choice and you can make bald work. If you don't like your body then change it. Join a gym, get a nutrition plan and sort it out. Getting depressed will not help you, only action will.
I have it very short at the moment but I don't want to go bald. I look thuggish enough as it is, with no hair at all I'll be utterly vile to look at. Besides, I've known a lot of girls who said they'd never date a bald man. And anyway, it's not what I want. I just want a full head of hair, like everyone else my age.
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Dirac Delta Function
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#14
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That's just the way the cookie crumbles. Lots of people have problems - some are ugly, some live in desperate poverty, some get into accidents and are permanently injured, etc etc.

Accept things for the way they are and make the most of what's left.
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girlmechanik
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#15
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urgh, im sorry but people who moan and ***** and whinge and dont try and change all they're moaning about really piss me off!

go gym, shave your head, get some new friends and get on with it...its not that simple i know, but its a start...and it seems you know what has to be done but want the sympathy...drop the "woe betide me" **** and girls might like you
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Alice._-
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wig?
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Dirac Delta Function)
That's just the way the cookie crumbles. Lots of people have problems - some are ugly, some live in desperate poverty, some get into accidents and are permanently injured, etc etc.

Accept things for the way they are and make the most of what's left.
Then there's all the people in this country who have looks, money, friends, girlfriends, everything they could possibly want. Yes, there are people who have it worse than me, but there's a lot of people who have it a lot better.

These people will succeed in every aspect of life because society is based around physical attraction. I will always be a failure for this reason also.
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elldee
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#18
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The worst thing a guy who isn't the best looking guy in the world can do is to be shallow. Stop with the whole she's too fat, she's too this etc. Don't you see that if you were more open minded, got to know the girl, didn't just judge her on a few words at the bar and her appearance you might actually improve your own confidence. The fact that anyone hits on you is great, you must be slightly human in appearance and not as beastly as you describe. But if you are a beast do not threat because it's likely that another beast will find you attractive- there is someone for everyone. It may do you good to take a look at yourself and think if I feel this way about myself what insecurities must other people have? Lots! You don't like the idea of being judged by your looks don't do it to other people. Cliche, but true- nobody is perfect and no measures not even plastic surgery (contrary to popular belief) can make you so. Stop judging yourself and everyone else (the girls you talk about) by other peoples standards. Get realistic and if you meet someone you like stop looking elsewhere and comparing what you have to everyone else just be happy you've found someone right for you, forget everyone else.

Give everyone a chance like you want people to give you.
Last edited by elldee; 9 years ago
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tomfb
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#19
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Please keep anon or delete.

Okay, well I've had low self esteem for a long time. Sometimes I've had patches where I look in the mirror and think I'm fairly attractive... most of the time I think I'm hideous. I'd describe myself, but I might as well let my friends at university help me out: balding, cold, bulging eyes. Variously I've been compared to Gollum, the guy from the Rocky Horror Show, and other monsters and freaks by my 'friends'. The rest of my face (and body) I'm insecure about but it's the receding hairline which really, really saps my confidence. I mean, who wants someone who's going bald?

That's the thing. All the girls I find attractive will never find me attractive. When I occasionally get people hitting on me it's usually very overweight girls or girls I don't find remotely attractive, physically or emotionally.

I see attractive people and I get so jealous, burning alive with envy. Why can't I have a full set of hair, at least, even if I've got to keep my horrible, withered body and ugly face? Then maybe I could be with someone I find attractive.

In the past I've been with girls who I did find attractive, although none of them were beautiful. Now, however, girls don't even look at me, let alone talk to me. If I talk to an attractive girl online she ignores me completely. I know I obsess over looks, but I've been bullied for a long time about my own.

Don't know what I expect anyone to say to this, just had to get it off my chest.
Baldness isn't a problem. Bruce Willis has always been badling even though he is voted one of the sexiest men. Body wise, you can change your body shape hit the gym, go running, buy some weights. I think what your biggest problem is the fact you lack confidence most girls I know say that confidence is one of the sexiest thing in a guy. If you are balding but tryna grow your hair then shave it off, by trying to disguise it you are probably making it look 100 x's worse. anyway I know I probably wasn't helpful but yeah, good luck.
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bansheeee*
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#20
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go to the gym until you get a body like this:
http://annalouiselucia.com/blog/wp-c...d_butler_1.jpg
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