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Thought of Uni getting me down. watch

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    Hey there, please keep Anon as I have friends who post on this board.

    So i've applied to go to Uni and receieved an unconditional offer which I firmed. I went to Cardiff Uni last year but dropped out as I really disliked where I was and really hated my course - I don't regret this for a second

    The thing is, literarly all my circle of friends, and best friends who I am really close to are now off to Uni in September - thing is, they are all going to the same one. I decided against this when I applied and made the decision to go to a Uni which offers a much better standard of education and is only 1 hour from my home town. The problem is with my friends.

    Whenever i'm around them at the moment they all talk about how awesome it's going to be next year when they are all together and in the same place, and how much fun their going to have etc. etc. It's really getting me down and making me quite depressed thinking about it. I know Uni is all about making new friends and meeting new people but I worry that it's going to affect me when i'm at Uni next year, and all i'm going to be able to think about is how much fun my friends are having together.

    Abit stupid I know, but it's really making me depressed and kinda unable to spend time with my friends as it just makes things worse

    tl:dr - Friends are all going to the same Uni next year, i'm going to a differant one, I feel like ****.
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    You'll make new ones and have a great time Friendship groups often break down in the transition between school/6th form/college and uni anyway. There's nothing to stop you keeping in touch with them though.

    Just think about how your decision means that you're be independent and putting your education first, prioritising! I'd rather go to a better uni alone than go to a mediocre one with my old friends.
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    Also remember the term times at Uni, normally approx 2 months there 1 month of, 2 months there one month off, then 2 months there 3 months off. Loads of free time to have fun with your old pals, plus you'll have new ones.

    It will be weird for other people in your friends halls, trying to get in their large group of friends that they've been in for years.
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    hahahahahah pure genius with that last sentence, i was going to post tl;dr.
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    You'll probably make a lot more new friends than they will. Personally I'd feel intimidated by a big group of old friends.

    You'll be fine.
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    It sounds quite silly of your friends to go to the University for the sake of being with their friends. You've made the right choice by going to where you want to go. You will make new friends at University. You can try and keep contact with your old friends but it might be hard if you are the only one not at Uni with them.
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    When I went to Brunel last year, I was completely surrounded by my old friends from college and I hated it. It totally limited me, because when I wanted to try new things or meet new people I was accused of "changing" and "being fake"... it's like a dead weight on your shoulders, I think. I don't even speak to any of those guys since I dropped out and it's a shame because we probably would've carried on being good friends.

    The sad truth is many friendships don't even make it through uni, and it'd be interesting to see which of your friends are even talking to eachother by the end of the first term. You'll be surprised. If I were you I'd be glad that you've got the option of going to a whole new place with no strings attatched. You'll still be able to see your old friends when you come home and they won't be holding you back at uni <<< the best of both worlds.
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    I would never choose to go to a uni because my friends are going there. Sounds like you've made the right choice and they've made the wrong one.

    They're much less likely to make new friends, as they'll have the comfort of knowing each other already.
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    I bet you that after a few months at Uni your friends won't hang out that much anymore and the friendships will deteriorate. Its no fun going to University with the same friends you've had for ever. It should be exciting to go alone and to try and make NEW friends and not cling to OLD ones as everyone's in the same boat anyway.

    When you're with the same friends you're still cast in the same role you've always been; one of your friends may still be the "pretty but dumb one" another may be the "too intellectual bore", another may be the "funny-but just a mate one" etc (ok those were terrible stereotypes but you know what I mean!). You';; never get a chance to become a different person and change because of your old friends, like for example admitting to your punk-rock obsessed group that actually you really enjoy pop or whatever! Like Dijbola said, whenever you evolve (not like a Pokemon lol) you'll be accused of being fake or something.
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    You are an independent person, they're co-dependent on each other. What would you rather be?
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    i think you will end up having a better time in the long run. if they already have friends they are going to find it less of a need to make new friends & i bet you will meet loads of them !!
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    You can't really blame them for being excited about it. Just ignore it and hope that your uni will be much better than last time.
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    they'll soon get bored of seeing each other.......you on the other hand will make new friends and have new enjoyable experiences hopefully
    • #1
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    Thanks for all the positive comments guys, I do feel that being independant and going to a get a better education are the most important things, it's just abit demoralizing at the moment I sort of have up and down moments.
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    Think of it as a new beginning.Welcome it with both

    hands and take advantage of it.You just feel that

    way as you are probably outside your comfort

    zone.These are the sort of things that will help you

    grow as a person.You will meet new and diffrent

    people which is a good thing as opposed to been

    stuck to your old mates which could discourage you

    from expanding your social circle.Hope that helps.
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    Hey just think if your going to a better university then your future will no doubt be brighter. As said before I'm sure you'll meet new people at uni and have a great time, just keep your head up and look forward to it
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    Personally I don't think their friendships will stay particularly strong.
    Every single one of them will meet new people, make different friends to each other and hang around with those new friends.
    Yeah they may still keep in touch but I highly doubt it'll be like one big party and them being together all the time, not at all.
    Don't feel left out as you're going to be the one learning how to go out and do things independently, they're just getting the 'easy' ride - which, to be fair, probably won't even last that long.
    Going to Uni on your own, you have no obligation to follow them around or see them particularly often when you've got other friends. You get to do what you like.
    When these friends go together, it'll be pretty awkward when they grow apart and see each other around the Uni/ city with other people.
    OP I can promise you you're in the better position.
    Don't let it get you down - look forward to the new people and experiences
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Hey there, please keep Anon as I have friends who post on this board.

    So i've applied to go to Uni and receieved an unconditional offer which I firmed. I went to Cardiff Uni last year but dropped out as I really disliked where I was and really hated my course - I don't regret this for a second

    The thing is, literarly all my circle of friends, and best friends who I am really close to are now off to Uni in September - thing is, they are all going to the same one. I decided against this when I applied and made the decision to go to a Uni which offers a much better standard of education and is only 1 hour from my home town. The problem is with my friends.

    Whenever i'm around them at the moment they all talk about how awesome it's going to be next year when they are all together and in the same place, and how much fun their going to have etc. etc. It's really getting me down and making me quite depressed thinking about it. I know Uni is all about making new friends and meeting new people but I worry that it's going to affect me when i'm at Uni next year, and all i'm going to be able to think about is how much fun my friends are having together.

    Abit stupid I know, but it's really making me depressed and kinda unable to spend time with my friends as it just makes things worse

    tl:dr - Friends are all going to the same Uni next year, i'm going to a differant one, I feel like ****.
    University to a lot of people signifies a new start. By going to a university where you don't know anyone else, this forces you to be more outgoing and get to know other people on your course, in societies and in your accomadation. You may not have done this if you went with all your previous friends. Also it is often hard to meet up with people at uni if you are not on the same course/accomadation/societies and there is also the factor that you will make new friends so strong friendship groups that go to university may not always last. See going by yourself as an oppurtunity to widen your already good set of friends.
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    I'm in the same situation as the OP. I was planning to move in with my mates to do a masters. But I managed to get an offer for my ideal course in a different city... and I couldn't be happier! I'm really looking foward to making a fresh start and meeting new people.

    I know if I stayed with my mates, I would get lazy and not make the effort with other people. I have also realised that me and my friends have less in common than I thought.
 
 
 
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