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Issues with housemates and rooms!
12
I have an issue with some of the people I'm living with next year - and which rooms we will all be getting.
The story isn't as simple as it sounds, so I'll start from the beginning.
Myself and a group of 3 other friends from my course at University decided we wanted to live together, and so started looking for houses. However, it soon became clear that 2 of the girls weren't going to shift their weight, and left it all down to myself and another girl to do the househunting.
Myself and the other willing house-hunter must have viewed about 12 houses (keep in mind we had to pay transport costs), whilst one of the other girls viewed 2, with the final girl only viewing 1! It was just getting to the point where we were seriously considering finding other people to live with, who would actually help us, when We eventually decided on which house we liked (which one of the girls has not even seen, but she agreed to go with it because everyone else liked it. We also had to persuade the other girl to go and see it, which took AGES. And she only lives round the corner
)
Because of this, myself and my friend stated that we should get first dibs on bedrooms. The other two were not happy with this, and suggested drawing names out of a hat. I didn't like this, but didn't want to cause an argument so left it.
Now, me and my friend have decided that we don't mind paying extra for the rooms we want (even though we feel we shouldn't have to!) but the other two STILL arn't happy saying this isn't fair. I don't know what to do
and just feel as if we have more right to first choice of rooms seeing as we did the most work, (as well as the fact the other two go home A LOT at the weekends, aone of them goes home EVERY weekend.)
I was wondering if anyone has been in a situation like this, and how they handled it without falling out with their friends?
Thanks!
The story isn't as simple as it sounds, so I'll start from the beginning.
Myself and a group of 3 other friends from my course at University decided we wanted to live together, and so started looking for houses. However, it soon became clear that 2 of the girls weren't going to shift their weight, and left it all down to myself and another girl to do the househunting.
Myself and the other willing house-hunter must have viewed about 12 houses (keep in mind we had to pay transport costs), whilst one of the other girls viewed 2, with the final girl only viewing 1! It was just getting to the point where we were seriously considering finding other people to live with, who would actually help us, when We eventually decided on which house we liked (which one of the girls has not even seen, but she agreed to go with it because everyone else liked it. We also had to persuade the other girl to go and see it, which took AGES. And she only lives round the corner
)Because of this, myself and my friend stated that we should get first dibs on bedrooms. The other two were not happy with this, and suggested drawing names out of a hat. I didn't like this, but didn't want to cause an argument so left it.
Now, me and my friend have decided that we don't mind paying extra for the rooms we want (even though we feel we shouldn't have to!) but the other two STILL arn't happy saying this isn't fair. I don't know what to do
and just feel as if we have more right to first choice of rooms seeing as we did the most work, (as well as the fact the other two go home A LOT at the weekends, aone of them goes home EVERY weekend.)I was wondering if anyone has been in a situation like this, and how they handled it without falling out with their friends?
Thanks!
Scroll to see replies
Reply 1
11
I had a similiar problem. I am living with 5 other people next year and the one of the guys joined without looking at the house, because the others liked it. Now this guy took WEEKS to pay the deposit, it took him so long that the landlord nearly kicked us out. He even at one point decided that he was not going to join after he signed the contract. He eventually paid the deposit but couldnt pay the July rent, so each of us had to pay an extra £59 towards rent for him.
As with room selection, first people to arrive got the pick. Everyone seems fine with that luckily.
As with room selection, first people to arrive got the pick. Everyone seems fine with that luckily.
Reply 2
17
I don't see why you should get the best rooms just because you scouted it out. 
Reply 3
It is as simple as it sounds. There are dozens of threads with exactly the same story every year. Do a search.
Ultimately it comes down to you and how much you want a quiet life. I'd just say that it wasn't fair they let you do all the legwork so its tough luck, you're having the rooms you want. But most people aren't quite so blunt.
Ultimately it comes down to you and how much you want a quiet life. I'd just say that it wasn't fair they let you do all the legwork so its tough luck, you're having the rooms you want. But most people aren't quite so blunt.
Reply 4
nadiah
OP
12
LH123
I don't see why you should get the best rooms just because you scouted it out.
It's not simply that we scouted it out, it's the fact that they did nothing at all in the search, and we put time and money into it.
Reply 5
nadiah
OP
12
FadedJade
It is as simple as it sounds. There are dozens of threads with exactly the same story every year. Do a search.
Ultimately it comes down to you and how much you want a quiet life. I'd just say that it wasn't fair they let you do all the legwork so its tough luck, you're having the rooms you want. But most people aren't quite so blunt.
Ultimately it comes down to you and how much you want a quiet life. I'd just say that it wasn't fair they let you do all the legwork so its tough luck, you're having the rooms you want. But most people aren't quite so blunt.
I didn't know what wording to use, or what to search for, if you point me in the right direction i'll have a look
We've tried saying that, but they make up loads of excuses as to why they didn't househunt, (most being that they had too many essays e.t.c, which doesn't mean anything - they only had as many as we had as we're on the same course - in fact I had one more essay than them as I do a minor subject, but still managed to view houses.)
Reply 6
17
nadiah
It's not simply that we scouted it out, it's the fact that they did nothing at all in the search, and we put time and money into it.
Sadly living with other people is all about co-operation, and whilst they did not co-operate much in the search it's unlikely they will just let you take the good rooms.
Reply 7
12
After seeing how they left all the work to you and your friend....do you really want to live with them for a year or so? Judging from this, its almost a guarantee thats your relationship is gonna crumble whilst staying with them (heck it might happen before you move in)
Reply 8
nadiah
OP
12
Nizzay!
After seeing how they left all the work to you and your friend....do you really want to live with them for a year or so? Judging from this, its almost a guarantee thats your relationship is gonna crumble whilst staying with them (heck it might happen before you move in)
Ugh I know, as much as I hate to admit it I'm really regretting living with them...but it's too late now as we've paid the non refundable holding fee
Reply 9
11
Invite a mutural friend round then auction off the rooms. If your total rent is £1400pcm then you need to auction off the rooms so that each person offers what they want to pay for the room. Start with the largest and bid up in £5's for the weekly rent up to what you'd willingly pay for it. Continue all the way down the rooms (once you have a room you cannot bid). Once it's all agreed get it signed and stick to it.
Reply 10
12
nadiah
Ugh I know, as much as I hate to admit it I'm really regretting living with them...but it's too late now as we've paid the non refundable holding fee
Oh...thats unfortunate. You got quite a few options here. Firsty try mending your relationship with them (may be difficult) and if that doesnt work, sell your share of the accommodation to someone else who may be interested.
Im out of ideas. But hope that helps though.
Reply 11
It is a difficult situation.
In my third year I was living with two people I'd lived with the year before and one new one, in a different (much nicer/bigger) house. Me and my friend had done the looking and ringing landlords on the day the lists came out, as the year before we'd left it late and ended up with a **** house.
Me and my friend had small rooms in the second year, the one person we'd lived with insisted she wasn't having a small room because she hadn't got the room she wanted the year before, even though she'd still got a big one (and it was her who stopped us getting the house the rest of us had wanted, which she conveniently forgot).
We picked straws in the end but then ended up swapping around anyway because one person wanted the medium room rather than one of the big ones. My friend ended up with a small room for both years, but then she went home for at least three days every single week and hardly had any stuff really, although it was quite unfair that the other girl had big rooms both years when we all paid equal rent.
To be honest, with the way your friends are acting, I'd be tempted to tell them where to go, as they have done nothing to help and it doesn't sound like they are there much anyway. Maybe suggest swapping rooms after half the year, then hopefully when it gets to then they won't be bothered about actually doing it.
Or say that if you live together next year they can have the bigger rooms, or they can use the living room more/be in charge of the remote or something.
Or, just pick straws and hope you get the room you want.
In my third year I was living with two people I'd lived with the year before and one new one, in a different (much nicer/bigger) house. Me and my friend had done the looking and ringing landlords on the day the lists came out, as the year before we'd left it late and ended up with a **** house.
Me and my friend had small rooms in the second year, the one person we'd lived with insisted she wasn't having a small room because she hadn't got the room she wanted the year before, even though she'd still got a big one (and it was her who stopped us getting the house the rest of us had wanted, which she conveniently forgot).
We picked straws in the end but then ended up swapping around anyway because one person wanted the medium room rather than one of the big ones. My friend ended up with a small room for both years, but then she went home for at least three days every single week and hardly had any stuff really, although it was quite unfair that the other girl had big rooms both years when we all paid equal rent.
To be honest, with the way your friends are acting, I'd be tempted to tell them where to go, as they have done nothing to help and it doesn't sound like they are there much anyway. Maybe suggest swapping rooms after half the year, then hopefully when it gets to then they won't be bothered about actually doing it.
Or say that if you live together next year they can have the bigger rooms, or they can use the living room more/be in charge of the remote or something.
Or, just pick straws and hope you get the room you want.
Reply 12
Charge each bedroom according to floor area ( include fitted cupboards etc)
Then if you end up with a tiny room you will pay less.
Then if you end up with a tiny room you will pay less.
Reply 13
nadiah
OP
12
~ Mandy
It is a difficult situation.
In my third year I was living with two people I'd lived with the year before and one new one, in a different (much nicer/bigger) house. Me and my friend had done the looking and ringing landlords on the day the lists came out, as the year before we'd left it late and ended up with a **** house.
Me and my friend had small rooms in the second year, the one person we'd lived with insisted she wasn't having a small room because she hadn't got the room she wanted the year before, even though she'd still got a big one (and it was her who stopped us getting the house the rest of us wanted, which she conveniently forgot).
We picked straws in the end but then ended up swapping around anyway because one person wanted the medium room rather than one of the big ones. My friend ended up with a small room for both years, but then she went home for at least three days every single week and hardly had any stuff really, although it was quite unfair that the other girl had big rooms both years when we all paid equal rent.
To be honest, with the way your friends are acting, I'd be tempted to tell them where to go, as they have done nothing to help and it doesn't sound like they are there much anyway. Maybe suggest swapping rooms after half the year, then hopefully when it gets to then they won't be bothered about actually doing it.
Or say that if you live together next year they can have the bigger rooms, or they can use the living room more/be in charge of the remote or something.
Or, just pick straws and hope you get the room you want.
In my third year I was living with two people I'd lived with the year before and one new one, in a different (much nicer/bigger) house. Me and my friend had done the looking and ringing landlords on the day the lists came out, as the year before we'd left it late and ended up with a **** house.
Me and my friend had small rooms in the second year, the one person we'd lived with insisted she wasn't having a small room because she hadn't got the room she wanted the year before, even though she'd still got a big one (and it was her who stopped us getting the house the rest of us wanted, which she conveniently forgot).
We picked straws in the end but then ended up swapping around anyway because one person wanted the medium room rather than one of the big ones. My friend ended up with a small room for both years, but then she went home for at least three days every single week and hardly had any stuff really, although it was quite unfair that the other girl had big rooms both years when we all paid equal rent.
To be honest, with the way your friends are acting, I'd be tempted to tell them where to go, as they have done nothing to help and it doesn't sound like they are there much anyway. Maybe suggest swapping rooms after half the year, then hopefully when it gets to then they won't be bothered about actually doing it.
Or say that if you live together next year they can have the bigger rooms, or they can use the living room more/be in charge of the remote or something.
Or, just pick straws and hope you get the room you want.
Some really good ideas there, thanks for the advice
steve2005
Charge each bedroom according to floor area ( include fitted cupboards etc)
Then if you end up with a tiny room you will pay less.
Then if you end up with a tiny room you will pay less.
I basically tried this, but they didn't think this was fair
I will re-iterate it though, and if I get the downstairs room (which I want even less than the small room, since it comes off the living room and I feel as if i'd have no privacy!) then there is no way I am paying the same as the people who have the big rooms!Reply 14
If you can't agree on who gets which room for the complete year, then why not do it for 3 months. Then you ALL get to have each room.
Reply 15
13
nadiah
I basically tried this, but they didn't think this was fair I will re-iterate it though, and if I get the downstairs room (which I want even less than the small room, since it comes off the living room and I feel as if i'd have no privacy!) then there is no way I am paying the same as the people who have the big rooms!
I will re-iterate it though, and if I get the downstairs room (which I want even less than the small room, since it comes off the living room and I feel as if i'd have no privacy!) then there is no way I am paying the same as the people who have the big rooms!If you had a good relationship with these people, then it would be okay to feel a little guilty.. but by the sounds of it they've just been making your life difficult.
If you did do this, would YOU be willing to pay more for a bigger room? If so, price the rooms according to size and if they want the bigger rooms let them, and you will save yourself some cash. If they don't, you get the room you want anyway.
Reply 16
I'm unable to come up with any suggestions; but I do agree with you that:
1) The individuals who put the most effort in should be able to choose first.
2) The rent should equal the percentage of bedroom space.
When I moved into my current flat with another girl, we tossed a coin and the winner was able to choose first, though, unfortunately I lost, so she picked the best room (all our subsequent decisions have been settled with rock-paper-scissors).
1) The individuals who put the most effort in should be able to choose first.
2) The rent should equal the percentage of bedroom space.
When I moved into my current flat with another girl, we tossed a coin and the winner was able to choose first, though, unfortunately I lost, so she picked the best room (all our subsequent decisions have been settled with rock-paper-scissors).
Reply 17
they sound like *********!! if i were in that situation i would find somewhere else, even though youve payed the holding fee. if they are causing this much trouble now, imagine what its gonna be like when you all live together. if you really cant waste that holding fee and get a different house, then i agree with the suggestions of pricing the rooms differently according to desirability (bigger room, upstairs etc).
sorry i dont have anything more helpful to add.
sorry i dont have anything more helpful to add.
Reply 18
nadiah
OP
12
dances_with_lamposts
they sound like *********!! if i were in that situation i would find somewhere else, even though youve payed the holding fee. if they are causing this much trouble now, imagine what its gonna be like when you all live together. if you really cant waste that holding fee and get a different house, then i agree with the suggestions of pricing the rooms differently according to desirability (bigger room, upstairs etc).
sorry i dont have anything more helpful to add.
sorry i dont have anything more helpful to add.
Tbh they're not bad people, they just have their faults like everyone else...sadly it seems they can't see their bad points!
Anyway, I've come to pretty much agree with the other two girls that we will decide on room prices, and then draw names out of a hat or something. Only problem is, the girl who was on 'my side' to begin with is being extremely stubborn and is refusing to budge. Although I agree with her and think we deffo have more right to choice of rooms, I'm backing down and going for the compromise (I realise life isn't fair and that we can't always get what we want/deserve, ahh well
) as at least that way iwe'll all still win either way.Damn friends
Reply 19
17
im sorry op but i have a few things to say even though there your friends you need to tell them to wise the **** up, you paid money out of your own pocket to go househunting and you even had an extra exam so you've obviously went out of your way to get YOU and you friends a place to sleep, hello hello op why are you being so light on this because there your friends it sounds like there taking advantage of you, i wouldn't stand for it and neither should you stake your claim they obviously have none so you should obviously get first choice theres no way around it no exam execuse no stupid execuse about some engagment taking time out to look at a few houses only takes a few hours out of there time and look at a house and then go home and study or do what ever
stand up for yourself or they will take advantage of you in the house as well next year im telling you now you let them walk over you they will figure out how easy it is and do it over and over again, even though there your friends even friends can be nasty sometimes
so please wake up and stand up for yourself if you don't you will regret it
stand up for yourself or they will take advantage of you in the house as well next year im telling you now you let them walk over you they will figure out how easy it is and do it over and over again, even though there your friends even friends can be nasty sometimes
so please wake up and stand up for yourself if you don't you will regret it
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