So, I'm a grad student, living in a big college house with 12 others some of whom are much older than me.
I know this is a very small thing but it's got to me a lot. Recently people have been moving in and moving out and as a result the space in the fridge as become tight. So last week I put up a note asking everyone to chose a shelf and stick to it (I'm house rep) so that we could solve the problem. No one did, so today I assigned everyone a shelf.
I sent round an email to tell everyone and, one of my housemates, who's much older than me (and is for the most part very lovely and very motherly) sent me a reply telling me that I should have consulted everyone before just assigning shelves like that. I was really annoyed because I tried to ask everyone to chose.
So I bumped into her in the kitchen and I hit the roof, but by hitting the roof I mean I told her not to criticise me for not doing things without looking to see if I'd done them (she apparently hadn't seen the note) I didn't shout or swear, but I did rant. I'm trying to be objective enough to see that I did over react (probably because I'm stressed) but wasn't abusive or anything like that. I flounced into the sitting room...door to the kitchen was still open and she was talking to two of my other housemates saying "this is bullying I will not stand for it, I'm telling the college secretary tomorrow" (this is coming from a woman who's about forty and she's "telling" on me)
So she told me that I should have done it a different way yadda yadda and I defended my actions but apologised for offending her(in the interest of not having a huge fight). And then she said something else about how I shouldn't have done something else(relatively trivial) and I said, I apologise for that too. And she said "so you should" to which I responded "I have, twice"
That was the end of it, it's a really trivial argument about a trivial issue. But I'm realy really upset about it. I'm really hurt that someone should call me a bully especially when there was never ever a cross word between us before and I didn't a)make any personal remarks b) swear c) shout and all I was doing in the first place was defending my actions. I asked my friend and she told me I should't be upset that it's only a small issue, but it's upset me so much that I can't sleep.
Maybe it just upset me so much because I'm stressed about other things. I don't know. I just feel really upset and really guilty, even though what I did wasn't major and I did apologise.
I don't really know what anyone can say as a response, but it feels good to write it all down.
Why am I being so sensitive -housemate issues Watch
- Thread Starter
- 10-07-2009 00:19
- 10-07-2009 00:27
Don't worry, forty-something year old women are not to be taken seriously.
- 10-07-2009 00:33
Ignore her, i would have done the same and a lot of food would have ended up on the kitchen floor.