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    This is more a question of opinions. I don't need advice or what-not.

    I'm 18 years old and I won't lie, I am genuinely scared of the potential that I could "fall in love" with any girl (meaning, I don't know who. Not just everyone) that I know or don't know. I realise that at my age and a year or two younger that you tend to feel like you love somebody but it's usually mere lusting rather than loving, but when it comes to actually loving somebody, I find the idea very intimidating.

    (Original post by XeaL`)
    I personally don't believe in love at first sight, to love somebody you have to respect the person, care for them, miss them, be there for them (and so on). Upon first sighting of one-another, it's impossible t feel any of these in my opinion. As far as I'm concerned, now-a-days the term "I love you" is thrown around far too much.
    (Original post by XeaL`)
    To love somebody, you have to have known them (in my opinion) a considerable amount of time and have a lot of dedication toward the person in knowing their personality traits, preferences, respecting them, caring for them (and so on).
    These are two quotes from a thread I replied to not long ago, but the reasoning for the thread was different to that of this one. I just think the idea of being able to open up to a person and somewhat allow them into your heart whilst knowing that at any given time, they could rip it out and leave you hurt for days/weeks/months... even years to be extremely frightening and I would seriously have no idea whether or not I would be able to tell whether or not a girl was worth trusting with such a thing.

    Falling in love can be the best thing in the world from what I've seen, but I've also seen (far more often) that it can also be one of the worst and at my age, often the person you claim to "love" and allow this pathway to your heart isn't always faithful and/or worth the trust and it gets thrown back in your face a lot of the time, resulting in you left feeling like an idiot and regretting everything sometimes.

    What are your thoughts?
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    Is this about love or love at first sight?

    Love? Yes!

    At first sight? No!

    At first sight at age 18? Double no with a can of AWWW HELL NAW
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    But ummmm... that's what love is... you trust the person so you can let your guard down around them and it's cool

    You can't just "fall in love" with someone against your will so don't be afraid of that lol
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    Nah, it's not about love at first sight, was just saying I don't believe in it.

    (Original post by BumperBo)
    But ummmm... that's what love is... you trust the person so you can let your guard down around them and it's cool

    You can't just "fall in love" with someone against your will so don't be afraid of that lol
    Ya, I understand this... but to be fair, you can't always fully know a person to know whether or not they are going to ultimately **** you over and/or betray you one way or another. I guess it's the risk you have to take if you believe love is a way to happiness.

    (Off to work now, I'll check for replies when I'm back ^^)
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    (Original post by XeaL`)
    Nah, it's not about love at first sight, was just saying I don't believe in it.



    Ya, I understand this... but to be fair, you can't always fully know a person to know whether or not they are going to ultimately **** you over and/or betray you one way or another. I guess it's the risk you have to take if you believe love is a way to happiness.

    (Off to work now, I'll check for replies when I'm back ^^)
    You started this topic 13 minutes before you had to leave?

    Anywaysssss yeah love at first sight is bullcrap! All you can tell from looking at someone is 1. how hot/cute they are and 2. some vague info about their "clique" which is basically meaningless
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    Boys choose safety, men choose pain.
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    ^ Girls choose horse **** sayings that don't make any real sense.
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    (Original post by bete noire)
    ^ Girls choose horse **** sayings that don't make any real sense.
    Haha agreed....that was a silly thing to say
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    Of course they do. Generalisations, whilst we should probably hesitate to make such sweeping statements, have veracity because they are founded upon realism. In this case, it's based upon my own relative experience, and the experience of virtually every woman I know. I used it here because I feel the OP's outlook is that of fear, and uncertainty (which is not to say it's not valid) and ergo was relevant.
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    (Original post by bete noire)
    ^ Girls choose horse **** sayings that don't make any real sense.
    Heh, seconded.
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    To be honest, I find the idea of love quite frightening.

    To my first boyfriend (of two and a half years, on again, off again), I never said that I loved him though he had said to me (on several occasions - every time attempting to up the ante, I suppose). I don't know even know why I stayed with him as long as I did - I mean, comparing it now, he wasn't that great at sex plus we were sexually incompatible in the sense our likes/dislikes didn't match up at all. So it's not like there was this amazing lust that every time I saw him engulfed me and made me blind to his faults. I suppose this bit's neither here nor there - the point is that I don't view myself as a person who falls in love easily and most people would say I'm quite unattached and cool in the way I conduct myself.

    To my current boyfriend, I have said that I love him. And I'm not afraid of saying it (or ever was), as long as it's said to me first. I'm not really particularly scared of getting hurt, as I think it would be worth it to have experienced such love and I view myself as a tough person - plus, with me believing he loves me, I trust he would not hurt me.

    I suppose where the discomfort lies in any notion of forever and longevity. Though I want to have someone to share my life with, to have a family - I don't want to think of it as forever though I would want it not to end. The concept of something not ending is much more palatable to me than the concept of forever. I don't want to be with other men, I don't feel like I would be missing out - it's not anything like that. Maybe I think that if something isn't ending that means it's worth keeping versus forever inadvertently points to some sort of imposed never-ending time - unhappy or happy, it's there. Forever. :eek:

    This same idea of imposition that marriage has makes me distinctly uncomfortable. If I do get married, it's because I have a reason for marriage - and that reason is not going to be because I need a contractual proof of my bond or my love. I don't know - someone can convince me otherwise if I love them, I suppose. The concept would have to lose it's association with any form of imposition or contractual bondage in my mind.

    I suppose I prefer if someone said that they wish to stay with and see a future with me rather than that they want to marry me to be with me forever.

    This turned out to not be not out about love that much.
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    (Original post by Erradhadh)
    This turned out to not be not out about love that much.
    Maybe, but love isn't just about a word or a feeling, it's about several different things that make up what we're talking about. I still feel terrified at the thought of letting somebody have this somewhat 'control' over me 'cause I've only been hurt by others so many times in the past. The majority of the time, I found that people (the ones I got with at least) only end up to all be the same and a lot of them even think that "relationship = sex", whereas I'd personally be more than happy spending time with the one I loved watching a film and cuddling, there aren't many people that I know of who think like this.

    The concept of falling in love and giving someone this access to your heart is something I'll never truly want to do I suppose, but I guess I'll know if I meet a person who's worth it, but it's finding that person which is the hard part. :redface:
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    (Original post by XeaL`)
    Maybe, but love isn't just about a word or a feeling, it's about several different things that make up what we're talking about. I still feel terrified at the thought of letting somebody have this somewhat 'control' over me 'cause I've only been hurt by others so many times in the past. The majority of the time, I found that people (the ones I got with at least) only end up to all be the same and a lot of them even think that "relationship = sex", whereas I'd personally be more than happy spending time with the one I loved watching a film and cuddling, there aren't many people that I know of who think like this.
    The concept of falling in love and giving someone this access to your heart is something I'll never truly want to do I suppose, but I guess I'll know if I meet a person who's worth it, but it's finding that person which is the hard part. :redface:
    I would like to meet a girl liek that; you need to be patient and not desperate; don't go really looking for love.
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    Yes but love and relationship is all about trust.
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    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=beQ9y...om=PL&index=32

    this is the second appropriate video I have posted today!
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    (Original post by jon838)
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=beQ9y...om=PL&index=32

    this is the second appropriate video I have posted today!
    I love how I just watched this ep an hour ago. ^-^
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    (Original post by XeaL`)
    This is more a question of opinions. I don't need advice or what-not.

    I'm 18 years old and I won't lie, I am genuinely scared of the potential that I could "fall in love" with any girl (meaning, I don't know who. Not just everyone) that I know or don't know. I realise that at my age and a year or two younger that you tend to feel like you love somebody but it's usually mere lusting rather than loving, but when it comes to actually loving somebody, I find the idea very intimidating.





    These are two quotes from a thread I replied to not long ago, but the reasoning for the thread was different to that of this one. I just think the idea of being able to open up to a person and somewhat allow them into your heart whilst knowing that at any given time, they could rip it out and leave you hurt for days/weeks/months... even years to be extremely frightening and I would seriously have no idea whether or not I would be able to tell whether or not a girl was worth trusting with such a thing.

    Falling in love can be the best thing in the world from what I've seen, but I've also seen (far more often) that it can also be one of the worst and at my age, often the person you claim to "love" and allow this pathway to your heart isn't always faithful and/or worth the trust and it gets thrown back in your face a lot of the time, resulting in you left feeling like an idiot and regretting everything sometimes.

    What are your thoughts?
    Judging by your definitions- the girl that you consider as your "love", is going to be a lucky girl
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    I am probably naive but I believe in love at first sight...
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    Surprisingly, I'm actually quite glad that I haven't fallen in love yet.

    I've seen my girlfriends stick with boyfriends for 4/5+ years and you can see that there's no real respect there, no passion and it's just life as they know it. They're 19/20 and imo, that's too young to settle. They live together and work together so I'm just waiting for the day it all falls apart - maybe I'm a pessimist I don't know.

    Then others have been in 4 yr relationships and fallen out of love with the person they grew up with and it's all ended badly.

    I'm sat here on the outside looking in - and tbh, I'm glad that I've got to 23 with a heart that's never been broken. I'm mature enough now to deal with it, I reckon. I'm willing to have my heart broken if it means I'll experience love though. I can't wait for it, I'm so excited about falling in love.
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    (Original post by Ape Gone Insane)
    Lust at first sight, more like.
    ^ :yep:

    (Original post by jon838)
    I would like to meet a girl liek that; you need to be patient and not desperate; don't go really looking for love.
    Believe me, I'm not desperate and I'm not "looking for love" in all honesty. I know you can't find it and it generally comes to you and often from an unexpected source.

    (Original post by Nutta!)
    Judging by your definitions- the girl that you consider as your "love", is going to be a lucky girl
    I don't think it'll be considered "lucky"... I think she would have to be a very special person though.

    (Original post by Ilora-Danon)
    I'm so excited about falling in love.
    I'm kind of the same and I'm not.
    I'm scared of what happens when things go wrong 'cause it just leaves you feeling terrible (etc) for a while and often thinking she/he wasn't worth it. However, if I do genuinely fall in love with somebody, then I seriously do hope they're worth every second 'cause it'd mean absolutely everything to me to finally have a girlfriend who isn't an absolute arse. :rolleyes:
 
 
 
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