The Student Room Group

wot is the deal with the big V?

what is the big deal with losing your virginity to sumone your 'in love' and mostly a big deal for girls than boys?..does losing your virginity have to be sumone who is in love with you? other than to regret it with a friend that may not care that much? i know you dont have to be in love or love but why is it so generalised like tht...

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If you lose it with someone you love, you instantly learn proper grammar. True story.
Blame the media and their stereotypical sexist constructions of masculinity and feminism...I not a moany d!k in real life...honest :smile:
Reply 3
i wudnt say ur a moany d!k cos i blame the media for most things! but not evrything can b blamed cos its the ppl who take it in..i just wondered wot ppl thought on the issue..
Reply 4
Ferret_messiah
If you lose it with someone you love, you instantly learn proper grammar. True story.


Right, if this isn't someone from OxGoss, I will buy a hat and eat it.
Reply 5
i think ill eat my hat too..i kno i cud hav put it better but it was one in the morning..and trying to think of how to explain in properly in words is hard sori..
Reply 6
xgeegeex
i think ill eat my hat too..i kno i cud hav put it better but it was one in the morning..and trying to think of how to explain in properly in words is hard sori..


And to answer your question... we see loads of people come here and ask the same question.

Losing your virginity isn't about the physical side of things. It's about being in a situation where you feel loved and respected. During your first time, you don't necessarily enjoy the physical side of things, although you may well do! But you enjoy the intimacy and the closeness. If you lose your virginity with someone you don't care about, just for the sake of it, you will lose on that...

If you can't appreciate intimacy yet, you're not ready for sex.
Reply 7
lessthanthree
My virginity meant nothing to me, but then again, I wasn't one of those conditioned to be terribly proud of my preservation!


I don't know, I don't think that we've been conditioned to be proud of it, I think part of it is just the idea that, as Sam said, the first time is going to be much more enjoyable with someone you like and trust, even if you don't "love" them. I wouldn't say it's something to go throwing away, but then for me, nor is sex in general.
xgeegeex
i think ill eat my hat too..i kno i cud hav put it better but it was one in the morning..and trying to think of how to explain in properly in words is hard sori..


And this is why teaching the kiddies English correctly is so important; smple questions need never be hard to put into words.

Aside from that- and in an attempt to respond to the question- I was quite enthusiastic about losing mine to whoever happened to come along, love or no love.
Subjective.
Reply 10
Its just fun! :rolleyes: Don't u think so?
The point is, its going to mean different things to different people, its SO personal, I dont think your friends, the media, your parents, or anyon can tell you when you are ready, or the situation you ought to lose it in. You can only do what you think is best at the time, and if you have regrets, then you'll know you did what you thought was right and couldnt have known things would go wrong.
Reply 12
Vijay1
Its just fun! :rolleyes: Don't u think so?


No sex can be fun (god or whatever had to make it fun otherwise people may be scared to procreate) but to me that closeness would be better than the physical side of things.

I mean lets face it any of us can go to Amstedam hand over 25 smackerrooneys and you've got laid. But whats the point in that? It dosn't mean anything.
AT82
But whats the point in that? It dosn't mean anything.


It's bloody good fun. It doesn't always have to mean something.
lessthanthree
Some people are quite conditioned to think it's a big deal - especially in other cultures that require girls to be subservient and virtuous prior to marriage.


To add to that though, being conservative over your virginity doesn't necessarily mean being subservient to the male of the species.

Mine meant a lot to me, and I'm a man. I couldn't just get down and dirty with someone I didn't have a lot of feelings for, and I'm glad I didn't.

Losing the V is fumbly and awkward, best to be with someone you trust and isn't going to mind if everything goes wrong. <-- main point.
Reply 15
Once you've had meaningless sex, it becomes a lot easier to have meaningless sex, until eventually you can't tell when you're sleeping with someone because you care about them, or because you just want a shag.
Lozza
Once you've had meaningless sex, it becomes a lot easier to have meaningless sex, until eventually you can't tell when you're sleeping with someone because you care about them, or because you just want a shag.



Straight to the point, thats why meaningless sex is so scary.
Lozza
Once you've had meaningless sex, it becomes a lot easier to have meaningless sex, until eventually you can't tell when you're sleeping with someone because you care about them, or because you just want a shag.


Nonsense. The two are completely different and nobody who has ever done both could confuse them. Most people only ever do one or the other.
Everyone is always saying your first time has to be special, mine was in the back seat of a car, yeah really special.
Lozza
Once you've had meaningless sex, it becomes a lot easier to have meaningless sex, until eventually you can't tell when you're sleeping with someone because you care about them, or because you just want a shag.


Well that's a very scary and cynical way of seeing things :eek: but I get what you mean!