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My boyfriend is making me not want to eat.
**Anon please, Personal issues**
I am quite skinny at the moment (size 6, BMI 17.8) but I have always been really skinny, I have never looked unhealthy though, as I am really small and have a tiny frame.
I generally ate about 3 meals a day (cereal, salad/ jacket potato/ and then I have different things for dinner- normally something with fish or pasta as I dont like red meat) and then I just have fruit and smoothies)
I also do about 8 hours excercise a week, so I have always been in good shape.
Anyway, I have been with my boyfriend for about 2 months now, and I decided to have sex with him about 3 weeks ago, I wasnt a virgin, but my first experience was a bad one so I try to forget it.
Anyway so all was fine, but like whenever I am naked he makes me feel really bad, like he will pinch my bum and say something like "putting it on a bit arent we" and like I hardly ever eat chocolate but i was going to have one bar and he was all "are you sure you want that".
And when we go shopping, if I have to get a size 8, he always makes me try on the six to see if I can squeeze in to it.
I swim and dance, but he reckons I need to go to the gym with him for 6 hours a week as well to make sure I stay a small size.
So like in the last 2 weeks I have just been eating 2 meals (breakfast and lunch)
And doing my 8 hours dance + swimming + 5 hours in the gym, I dont want to, but I love him so much and I dont want to offend him with all my fat - although everyone apart from him always says I am too skinny, but he is the one I love, so I am trying to lose more weight.
All my family are really conserned about me, and want to send me to a psychiatrist, but there isnt anything wrong with me, I just want to make him happy.
I am quite skinny at the moment (size 6, BMI 17.8) but I have always been really skinny, I have never looked unhealthy though, as I am really small and have a tiny frame.
I generally ate about 3 meals a day (cereal, salad/ jacket potato/ and then I have different things for dinner- normally something with fish or pasta as I dont like red meat) and then I just have fruit and smoothies)
I also do about 8 hours excercise a week, so I have always been in good shape.
Anyway, I have been with my boyfriend for about 2 months now, and I decided to have sex with him about 3 weeks ago, I wasnt a virgin, but my first experience was a bad one so I try to forget it.
Anyway so all was fine, but like whenever I am naked he makes me feel really bad, like he will pinch my bum and say something like "putting it on a bit arent we" and like I hardly ever eat chocolate but i was going to have one bar and he was all "are you sure you want that".
And when we go shopping, if I have to get a size 8, he always makes me try on the six to see if I can squeeze in to it.
I swim and dance, but he reckons I need to go to the gym with him for 6 hours a week as well to make sure I stay a small size.
So like in the last 2 weeks I have just been eating 2 meals (breakfast and lunch)
And doing my 8 hours dance + swimming + 5 hours in the gym, I dont want to, but I love him so much and I dont want to offend him with all my fat - although everyone apart from him always says I am too skinny, but he is the one I love, so I am trying to lose more weight.
All my family are really conserned about me, and want to send me to a psychiatrist, but there isnt anything wrong with me, I just want to make him happy.
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I'd consider what your boyfriend is doing mental abuse. Talk to him, find out why he's doing it and tell him to cut it the hell out. From the sounds of it your fit and healthy and shouldn't be loosing weight or worrying about your size. If what makes him happy is potentially very dangerous for you then you can't go a long with that, don't think of that as selfish, it's sensible. If you talk and he can't realise he's in the wrong then your relationship has a serious issue.
OK well firstly DUMP HIM, get as FAR away as you can from him and go back to your routine from before he started doing this. If he genuinely thinks this then 1) he's deluded and needs help, and 2) he's horrible to say that sort of stuff to you. If he doesn't think it, then he's just being vindictive and controlling, in which case you also need to run away (which you could do faster if you were eating more again).
On your last statement - there is something wrong with you if you believe he's being at all reasonable, or would change your habits so much just for him when obviously he's doing nothing at all the same for you. You say you love him but does he show he loves you? If he really did love you properly, would he want to see you put yourself through this trouble for his unrealistic standards, especially when it puts you in serious danger? I'm sorry but I really think you just need to get rid of him.
On your last statement - there is something wrong with you if you believe he's being at all reasonable, or would change your habits so much just for him when obviously he's doing nothing at all the same for you. You say you love him but does he show he loves you? If he really did love you properly, would he want to see you put yourself through this trouble for his unrealistic standards, especially when it puts you in serious danger? I'm sorry but I really think you just need to get rid of him.
Its one thing making him happy, but surely its more important that you're happy. You already do exercise and eat healthily. That should be enough.
Your boyfriend is a controlling b******. Don't let him make him feel bad about your perfectly healthy and attractive body.
Get rid... NOW!
As long as he's still eating you, be happy.
I don't understand why you are still with him! I'm sorry , I know how it feels to be completely in love and want to do everything with the eprson but you're damaging yourself and putting your life in danger... To be honest, I think you're better off without him, he can't love you the way you love him if he's making you do this.
Thanks for all the replies guys.
I dunno why I am doing it, I really dont want to lose him, he makes me feel secure, but well then he brings my insecurities out.
I dont want to lose any more weight, or my mum will tell the doctor that I am anorexic, which I am not - well i dont think Im fat, but well he does.
I dunno why I am doing it, I really dont want to lose him, he makes me feel secure, but well then he brings my insecurities out.
I dont want to lose any more weight, or my mum will tell the doctor that I am anorexic, which I am not - well i dont think Im fat, but well he does.
Wow why are you even with this guy, he sounds like an absolute idiot. Talk to him about it, tell him that those small remarks are hurting you.
Anonymous
Thanks for all the replies guys.
I dunno why I am doing it, I really dont want to lose him, he makes me feel secure, but well then he brings my insecurities out.
I dont want to lose any more weight, or my mum will tell the doctor that I am anorexic, which I am not - well i dont think Im fat, but well he does.
I dunno why I am doing it, I really dont want to lose him, he makes me feel secure, but well then he brings my insecurities out.
I dont want to lose any more weight, or my mum will tell the doctor that I am anorexic, which I am not - well i dont think Im fat, but well he does.
obviously he is the one who has a problem not you. don't change yourself for him!! Talk to you mum maybe, or some other grownup who you trust... and as the others have said you have to talk to him, maybe he doesnt realise what he's doing? Is he really skinny for a guy .. ? cause I know a guy who's really skinny and he likes his girlfriends skinny because (acocrding to me) he feels more manly then as he isnt skinnier than them.. :P
Burn the leech off.
Sounds like he's just trying to find a way to control you, I know it's hard but if you don't leave him it's going to get a lot worse
cadaeibfeceh
there is something wrong with you if you believe he's being at all reasonable,
This.
He's being hurtful, unnecessary and should love you for who you are.
LottanPottan
obviously he is the one who has a problem not you. don't change yourself for him!! Talk to you mum maybe, or some other grownup who you trust... and as the others have said you have to talk to him, maybe he doesnt realise what he's doing? Is he really skinny for a guy .. ? cause I know a guy who's really skinny and he likes his girlfriends skinny because (acocrding to me) he feels more manly then as he isnt skinnier than them.. :P
He is big, but muscular big.
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