Hey there! Sign in to join this conversationNew here? Join for free
x Turn on thread page Beta

My boyfriend is making me not want to eat. watch

Announcements
    Offline

    20
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    **Anon please, Personal issues**

    I am quite skinny at the moment (size 6, BMI 17.8) but I have always been really skinny, I have never looked unhealthy though, as I am really small and have a tiny frame.

    I generally ate about 3 meals a day (cereal, salad/ jacket potato/ and then I have different things for dinner- normally something with fish or pasta as I dont like red meat) and then I just have fruit and smoothies)

    I also do about 8 hours excercise a week, so I have always been in good shape.

    Anyway, I have been with my boyfriend for about 2 months now, and I decided to have sex with him about 3 weeks ago, I wasnt a virgin, but my first experience was a bad one so I try to forget it.

    Anyway so all was fine, but like whenever I am naked he makes me feel really bad, like he will pinch my bum and say something like "putting it on a bit arent we" and like I hardly ever eat chocolate but i was going to have one bar and he was all "are you sure you want that".

    And when we go shopping, if I have to get a size 8, he always makes me try on the six to see if I can squeeze in to it.

    I swim and dance, but he reckons I need to go to the gym with him for 6 hours a week as well to make sure I stay a small size.

    So like in the last 2 weeks I have just been eating 2 meals (breakfast and lunch)

    And doing my 8 hours dance + swimming + 5 hours in the gym, I dont want to, but I love him so much and I dont want to offend him with all my fat - although everyone apart from him always says I am too skinny, but he is the one I love, so I am trying to lose more weight.

    All my family are really conserned about me, and want to send me to a psychiatrist, but there isnt anything wrong with me, I just want to make him happy.
    Get it straight: you are not fat, in fact with a BMI of 17.5 or whatever you said it was, you're underweight. But you seem to have been doing wel and not being ill because of it, so pay him absolutely no heed.
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    I think your boyfriend is the hero here. If you gained weight knowing girls you would probably go mental and might commit suicide.

    He's just stopping you before it all happens.
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    Your bf is a freak.
    Offline

    1
    ReputationRep:
    Please don't let him control you.
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by GazzyG)
    Sorry to be harsh, but your boyfriend sounds like a two-hat.

    You're in physical shape that many women would die for - please, please, please stop listening to your boyfriend, use a little common sense and realise that if it aint broke, don't fix it.

    You aint broke.
    Excactly. He's just trying to control you and I just cant believe you still want to 'make him happy'. He sounds like a tosser and I'm pretty sure he's trying to manipulate you.
    Offline

    11
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Redemption)
    Well, is eating little and exercising more doing you physical harm? Probably not. He fell for you when you looked a certain way, and it seems like he's trying to recreate that feeling by trying to push you to look the same way.

    However, sizes and weights are irrelevant. You're a small girl, so sizes are different. Some replies on here just arent thinking about that.

    Get your body fat checked. Don't bother going below 14% for him, but the rest is up to how the relationship with him compares to eating. Whichever one you'd like to do, do it.
    It's making her unhappy, and she's already quite a bit underweight, which is not healthy. That aside, it's not about body fat percentage, it's the fact she might be developing an eating disorder - and clearly you have no idea what a horrific thing that is.

    OP, please, please dump him. I would still suggest getting a bit of therapy just to make sure you've nipped it in the bud. This sounds like me when I started, and I ended up very sick and it still makes me very unhappy although physically I am well again. So yeah, please please tell him where to go.
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    What?? Your constantly loosing weight for HIM!
    No, just no, that isn't something someone should EVER do, he should love you as you are, not making you want to be clearly upset/uncomfortable by it all
    Tell him straight that you don't like all the exercise he's seemingly making you do.

    I know you love him but you don't have to do every single thing he tells you/wants you to do. You control your life. Not him.

    (Original post by forsaken_earth)
    It's making her unhappy, and she's already quite a bit underweight, which is not healthy. That aside, it's not about body fat percentage, it's the fact she might be developing an eating disorder - and clearly you have no idea what a horrific thing that is.

    OP, please, please dump him. I would still suggest getting a bit of therapy just to make sure you've nipped it in the bud. This sounds like me when I started, and I ended up very sick and it still makes me very unhappy although physically I am well again. So yeah, please please tell him where to go.
    I totally agree with you.

    I've had an eating disorder for about 4 years now, I've only just started to be able to eat large quantities of food again, 5 months ago I couldn't even handle a regular sized dinner, my mum had to shrink down the amount of food just so I could manage it.
    I went down to a size 8 I'm now a size 12 and proud.
    They last thing this girl needs is an eating disorder, they are hell to go through.
    • #3
    #3

    your boyfriend is an idiot. dont you let him tell you what to do. end it with him. if he wants to go out with a skeleton tell him to get into the real world.
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    As all the posts have stated so far, you need to get out of this controlling relationship. You sound like you have a very attractive body, and he clearly does not care enough about you to appreciate this. If you need support feel free to message me - I'll keep your username anonymous.
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    Your family are right to be worried. He is getting you right under the thumb - destroying your self esteem and making you feel guilty for something that isn't even true (that you're fat - clearly you are not). He sounds too controlling and almost like he's mentalling abusing you tbh.

    If he has to talk to you that way and make you feel so bad do you really think he loves you?
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    You sound as if you have lower self esteem than normal, and your boyfriend is trying to lower it even more.
    'I just want to make him happy' but why??:confused:
    Whats so special about him?
    You say you love him, but I hate to say it.. he obviously doesnt love you. He cant, not the way he treats you.

    To make this thread you clearly realise there is a problem.
    Save yourself now, please, before this gets worse!
    Offline

    13
    ReputationRep:
    Get rid of him NEEEEOW.
    • PS Helper
    Offline

    14
    ReputationRep:
    PS Helper
    Get the hell out. If he is making you feel bad, is it really worth it? If you're happy then that is all that matters.
    Offline

    13
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by forsaken_earth)
    It's making her unhappy, and she's already quite a bit underweight, which is not healthy. That aside, it's not about body fat percentage, it's the fact she might be developing an eating disorder - and clearly you have no idea what a horrific thing that is.

    OP, please, please dump him. I would still suggest getting a bit of therapy just to make sure you've nipped it in the bud. This sounds like me when I started, and I ended up very sick and it still makes me very unhappy although physically I am well again. So yeah, please please tell him where to go.
    Should be more strong willed then. Body fat % is the best indicator of how healthy the weight loss is for someone.
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    **Anon please, Personal issues**

    I am quite skinny at the moment (size 6, BMI 17.8) but I have always been really skinny, I have never looked unhealthy though, as I am really small and have a tiny frame.

    I generally ate about 3 meals a day (cereal, salad/ jacket potato/ and then I have different things for dinner- normally something with fish or pasta as I dont like red meat) and then I just have fruit and smoothies)

    I also do about 8 hours excercise a week, so I have always been in good shape.

    Anyway, I have been with my boyfriend for about 2 months now, and I decided to have sex with him about 3 weeks ago, I wasnt a virgin, but my first experience was a bad one so I try to forget it.

    Anyway so all was fine, but like whenever I am naked he makes me feel really bad, like he will pinch my bum and say something like "putting it on a bit arent we" and like I hardly ever eat chocolate but i was going to have one bar and he was all "are you sure you want that".

    And when we go shopping, if I have to get a size 8, he always makes me try on the six to see if I can squeeze in to it.

    I swim and dance, but he reckons I need to go to the gym with him for 6 hours a week as well to make sure I stay a small size.

    So like in the last 2 weeks I have just been eating 2 meals (breakfast and lunch)

    And doing my 8 hours dance + swimming + 5 hours in the gym, I dont want to, but I love him so much and I dont want to offend him with all my fat - although everyone apart from him always says I am too skinny, but he is the one I love, so I am trying to lose more weight.

    All my family are really conserned about me, and want to send me to a psychiatrist, but there isnt anything wrong with me, I just want to make him happy.
    You seriously need some help. Are you honestly going to turn yourself into an anorexic for someone who doesn't even care about you? Your boyfriend clearly doesn't love you if he wants you to loose weight, and he's not doing you any good either. A BMI of 17.8 is underweight, so you are already unhealthy. Take my advice and stick to 3 meals a day. And maybe cut down on the excercise a bit, because you don't really need it.
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Stettin)
    I think your boyfriend is the hero here. If you gained weight knowing girls you would probably go mental and might commit suicide.

    He's just stopping you before it all happens.
    I hope you're being ironic here.
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    Tell him that he needs to hit the gym, see how he likes it.
    This is mental abuse - its like he wants you to have an eating disorder. I'd keep well clear, and find someone who likes your body as it is
    Offline

    1
    ReputationRep:
    That's horrible, is he controlling or abusive in any other ways? If he is, you should probably think about ending it.
    Try talking to him about it, maybe he's being sarcastic or something?
    Do not change who you are for anyone, especially not by losing weight because obviously that's putting your health in danger.
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    It concerns me that he might be causing you to get unnaturally skinny so that nobody else would want you...
    You sound like you'd look amazing, and already have the perfect diet...stand up to him, and he'll probably back down. He isn't helpful, he'll be the first thing to go if you end up in an anorexic clinic, trust me!
    Don't be bullied by him, he sounds like a controlling idiot. He might make you feel secure, but he's trying to change you, and if you needed changing, he wouldn't be with you in the first place...
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    He's An Idiot...dump Him For The Love Of God!!!!!!!!!
 
 
 
Reply
Submit reply
Turn on thread page Beta
TSR Support Team

We have a brilliant team of more than 60 Support Team members looking after discussions on The Student Room, helping to make it a fun, safe and useful place to hang out.

Updated: July 14, 2009
Poll
Do I go to The Streets tomorrow night?

The Student Room, Get Revising and Marked by Teachers are trading names of The Student Room Group Ltd.

Register Number: 04666380 (England and Wales), VAT No. 806 8067 22 Registered Office: International House, Queens Road, Brighton, BN1 3XE

Write a reply...
Reply
Hide
Reputation gems: You get these gems as you gain rep from other members for making good contributions and giving helpful advice.