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    I was in an open relationship once, it worked for us at the time just as monogamy worked in other relationships. Depends on the people and the situation. The nature of our relationship wasn't the cause of our break-up, it's as bizarre to suggest that given that monogamous people break up all the time, in most cases it doesn't come down to the paradigm. Live and let live and all that.
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    (Original post by .Scout.)
    Its not something I could personally ever do, I'd get far too jealous/insecure. Open relationships have worked well for my friend, though. I, myself, wouldn't call it a relationship though.
    Why wouldn't you call it a relationship? Why do people think they have to be in a monogamous relationship for it to be a true relationship? Why do people think open relationships are not true relationships? That's bull****.

    What if the 2 people in the open relationship really loved each other, enjoyed each others' company, had a great sex life etc, but they both knew they wanted to sleep with other people too so they were honest about that and decided to keep their relationship non-monogamous instead of monogamous?

    Ultimately, a TRUE relationship is one based on honesty, trust and respect where both people like and appreciate each other and enjoy great sex too.....regardless of whether the relationship is monogamous or non-monogamous.

    I've seen plenty of monogamous relationships that lack honesty, trust and respect and are full of insecurity, lies, dishonesty, mistrust, arguments, jealousy, resentment, controlling, crap sex etc. I've never seen a non-monogamous relationship with any of these things. It always seems to be monogamous relationships where these negative things crop up....that should tell you everything you need to know about the concept of monogamy being highly flawed.

    Just because a relationship is 'monogamous' doesn't necessarily mean it's a true or great relationship....monogamy is just a label, and if the relationship isn't based on honesty, trust and respect and if the sex is bad then who gives a **** if it's a 'monogamous' relationship if the relationship is bad?

    Base your relationships on honesty, trust, respect and whether you like each other for you truly are, and whether you can satisfy each other sexually. These are the crucial element that determine whether a relationship will work....merely being in a 'monogamous relationship' means nothing if it isn't based on these things. That is why so many monogamous relationships ultimately fail.

    It amazes me that people place so much faith in 'monogamy' when it clearly fails spectacularly in so many case.....look around you, the world is rife with break-ups, cheating, jealousy, etc etc....yet people are so keen on monogamy

    I'll stick to non-monogamy any day. it suits who I am better, and I don't have any of the stress that goes along with 'monogamy'.
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    (Original post by TShadow383)
    From an evolutionarily perspective:

    Men - Designed to **** anything that moves - SPREAD THE GENES BABY!

    Women - Designed to **** men with good genes - have babies with good genes - then find less dominant beta male to provide for them.

    That's it. End of.

    This is why there are so many girls that get cheated on by their boyfriends having one night stands, and so many "nice guys" (read: weak, beta-male type characters) who get cheated on by their girlfriends getting plowed into next week by some cocky alpha-male type character.

    If an open relationship works for those involved, and helps them get around these issues, good for them. I've never been in one, but I wouldn't write it off without ever having been there.
    Yeah, I agree. Well said. Nice to see someone else who understands this stuff.
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    Some people make them work. I'd be happy in one. If I loved someone, I'd be happy with them having casual sex with others (but not serious relationships with others).
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    I don't have a problem with them, and can see the appeal, but I don't think 'relationship' is really the right word. To me a relationship is something more exclusive.
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    (Original post by Neil_K)
    Why wouldn't you call it a relationship? Why do people think they have to be in a monogamous relationship for it to be a true relationship? Why do people think open relationships are not true relationships? That's bull****.

    What if the 2 people in the open relationship really loved each other, enjoyed each others' company, had a great sex life etc, but they both knew they wanted to sleep with other people too so they were honest about that and decided to keep their relationship non-monogamous instead of monogamous?

    Ultimately, a TRUE relationship is one based on honesty, trust and respect where both people like and appreciate each other and enjoy great sex too.....regardless of whether the relationship is monogamous or non-monogamous.

    I've seen plenty of monogamous relationships that lack honesty, trust and respect and are full of insecurity, lies, dishonesty, mistrust, arguments, jealousy, resentment, controlling, crap sex etc. I've never seen a non-monogamous relationship with any of these things. It always seems to be monogamous relationships where these negative things crop up....that should tell you everything you need to know about the concept of monogamy being highly flawed.

    Just because a relationship is 'monogamous' doesn't necessarily mean it's a true or great relationship....monogamy is just a label, and if the relationship isn't based on honesty, trust and respect and if the sex is bad then who gives a **** if it's a 'monogamous' relationship if the relationship is bad?

    Base your relationships on honesty, trust, respect and whether you like each other they are (and vice versa) and whether you can satisfy each other sexually. That is the crucial element that determines whether a relationship will work....merely being in a 'monogamous relationship' means nothing.
    Oh I totally agree with you, maybe I should've made my original post clearer.
    I didn't mean that I thought non monogomous relationships weren't 'real' relationships, just that my friends' open relationships had all been a bit of a shambles and couldn't really be described as a real relationship.

    I think its very easy to use the label of an open relationship as an excuse for not being fully commited, or as an excuse for sleeping around with anyone. From what i've seen, there is a very fine line between open relationships and a FWB arrangement...feelings and respect should be there for you partner; it just so happens that there are feelings there for others as well.
    If it works like that, then I think the concept of an open relationship would be very appealing for many, just in practice I think it would be very hard to manage what with the enevitable jealousy and insecurity that would appear from one partner.
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    (Original post by magiichands)
    I was wondering why do people have open relationships?

    Really it should not be open relationship, more like someonee I have to an emergancy f*** with and someone to have passion with.


    I dont know about you, but I dont think I could handle an open relationship, I do not like the idea of someone I love s***ing some woman across the road and going out with her.

    I dont think they will work out because when you get marries espically you get emotionally attached to the person ....

    What do you think about open relationships?

    Give me your thoughts
    i've been in several.

    in my experience it isnt the guy getting jealous of the girl s**ing another dude, but rather that the dude gets insecure that the girl doesnt really love him if she is ok with him s**ing other girls that breaks it up.

    the reason me and alot of girls are in open r's is because if you dont believe in sex before marriage alot of guys are gonna get it on the side anyway so might as well be open about it.

    what o dont get, and would love if somene coudl answer, is why do guys prefer to cheat than be in an open R? i always offer a guy to be in an open R, but for some reason they prefer to secretly pretend to be monogamous to be and cheat and lie on the side. why do men do this? why cant they be honest in an open R?
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    (Original post by shinytoy)
    i've been in several.

    in my experience it isnt the guy getting jealous of the girl s**ing another dude, but rather that the dude gets insecure that the girl doesnt really love him if she is ok with him s**ing other girls that breaks it up.

    the reason me and alot of girls are in open r's is because if you dont believe in sex before marriage alot of guys are gonna get it on the side anyway so might as well be open about it.

    what o dont get, and would love if somene coudl answer, is why do guys prefer to cheat than be in an open R? i always offer a guy to be in an open R, but for some reason they prefer to secretly pretend to be monogamous to be and cheat and lie on the side. why do men do this? why cant they be honest in an open R?
    If they do, it's because they want to **** other people, but they don't want you ****ing other people.

    Hypocrits, basically.
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    (Original post by shinytoy)

    what o dont get, and would love if somene coudl answer, is why do guys prefer to cheat than be in an open R? i always offer a guy to be in an open R, but for some reason they prefer to secretly pretend to be monogamous to be and cheat and lie on the side. why do men do this? why cant they be honest in an open R?
    Because men and women just aren't honest with each other these days. It's the way dating in society has become, I'm afraid.

    That's why I always say people should ALWAYS base their relationships on honesty, trust and respect....no exceptions.
 
 
 
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