B - I love you so damn much, i can't even begin to express it and i wish i had better ways of telling you it but i don't...all i can think of is that if my love for you were a hug, it would be a boa-constrictor hug cuz it would be so strong that it would squeeze and suffocate you!
I love you so much, that i spend every day dreaming about you, and everytime a song is played that you have told me about or that has a strong american accent, it makes me think of you and smile
I sound like a muppet but i don't care. I know i said i would never get married until i was like 30, but i'd gladly marry you right now!
I sound stalkerish and weird but i don't care. I love you too much to care what other people think, and no one will care enough to read this and say anything anyway so it doesn't matter!
I wish and pray with all my heart every day, that God will give us some way to close the thousand mile gap between us, and i can be in your arms, even if just for one day. Sometimes, i seriously consider giving up my life here to fly over there and be with you, leaving everything i know and love behind.
You really have no idea how much i love you and how much i owe you for everything good in my life.
Why can't we be nearer? <3<3<3
K - You are the best friend I have ever known, and I am so pleased God blessed me with you when he did. I may not be here today otherwise. You are a part of me, my soul sister if you like I love you more than i love my own family. I hope that we will stay as strong and close as ever over the next few years, despite being apart. I will never know another friend like you, you have been there for me through the worst of times even though we are still young, and i can't thank you enough. Where were you for the first 14 years of my life?! :P <3
F - I miss you and i wonder where our best-friendship went. We are so different now and have very different friends, but i remember that we used to be so close and i wish we had kept that. Now i don't know how to get it back...when i broke up with her, i lost you too, which i never wanted, but i can't be the same with her again. You can do so much better, i wish you could have the courage to do what i had to. I wish i knew how to get our friendship back to where it used to be, i don't want to forget you! You were my best friend for a long time, through a lot of things, which you didn't really understand totally, but you still loved me all the same and never treated me with anything but kindness. I hope you find the right guy for you, you deserve better than some of the pricks that go after you!
S - You can be seriously annoying and *****y and selfish, and sometimes i wonder why i am even friends with you. I don't actually know why i am, but you are just one of those people who are annoying yet you still love 'em! :P But seriously, don't act like it is a competition between our friendship's with K, it's not. We can both be close friends with her, there is no need for you to get so pissed off and stressy when me and her are close. We are just such close friends, i need her. I wish you could understand that. And that you would stop flitting between who you think you like, you can't be in love with like five people at the same time. Take some time to think properly about how you really feel, and it's not all about losing it just to "get it over and done with". I want you to be happy! And also, don't pretend you hate being skinny when you know you like it, I would love look like you! I'd gladly swap my boobs for your skinnyness!
A - You're an annoying ***** and you ruined my life for quite a few years, but i forgive you and i thank you. I don't regret the four years of our friendship, from the pulling out chunks of my hair when we were 12, to overdosing to stop me singing with F in the concert because you didnt want us to be close, when we were 15. All the stupid, selfish things you did to me have only made me stronger and taught me a great deal. I could say i hated you for the way you made me feel inferior and ugly and worthless, like nobody cared for me and i had to look or be a certain way to be acceptable to you, for being a complete hyprocrite about the self harm and for being a ***** to me through the anorexia. But hating you will get me nowhere, which is why i had to stop being best friends with you. And it was the best decision i ever made, i feel happy and free again. Now, i just feel sorry for you, that since i was the only one to take the stand against you, everybody else followed suit who was too scared to say anything before. You thought i'd be the one left with no friends and a horrible life, but actually, it's you. At least i have genuine friends who love me for who i am, and care about the all the bad things i do to myself at times, and try to help me. Luckily, now i can say that no matter what you say or do, i really don't care. Even the taking the piss out of me and K being so close...it's only because you know that you wish it was you. But i want you to know, that i will never be friends with you again, i don't want to be that terrible person i was, ever again. You made me turn against everything i believed in, and become someone i hated. At least now when i see those scars on me, it reminds me of who i used to be, and stops me being like that again.
So thank you, cuz in the end i became a better person.
H.H - I don't know if you like me, i hope you don't because i don't want to break your heart but i don't want to feel like i always have to keep my happiness about my relationship atm under wraps. I want you to share in my joy and be happy for me, but every time i even mention him in a tiny way, you totally clam up and change the subject. What have i done wrong? We used to be such good mates, i miss your enthusiasm and always-happy-ness! It feels like you never talk to me any more. Please tell me the girl you like, i want to be able to help. And tell me what it is you have an issue with me with? I don't know what i have done to make you shut stuff away from me, now you never talk about how you feel. It saddens me
B - I miss you every day still. I wish you hadnt moved to New Zealand, when you went it broke up our group. You were like the glue that stuck us all together. We love you and miss you! Come back and visit soon! xx
Okay, i write alot. Ohwell, most people don't read it anyway. I just needed to think it out and try and work out answers to my own questions.
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What do you want to say to someone but can't? watch
- 15-07-2009 00:06
- 15-07-2009 00:31
J - Coward. How could you dismiss 2 years so easily.