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I'm so desperate to make friends Watch

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    (Original post by Meus)
    If there is anyone here that there is something wrong with, it's you.
    Something is more wrong with you.

    See what i just did there? I made a sentence without justifying what the hell i was talking about, like you did see it's easy
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    this is a part of university im not looking forward to. I have finally found the greatest mates i could possibly ask for in the last year or so but we are going all over the country. And i know im gonna lose touch with them because its bound to happen.
    The way i look at it is that Im bound to find people on my course that share some interest with me and that over the course of one year i can start some form of aquantence with them and exapnd it. then year 2 build the friendship up. So maybe you could try that. It works in theory.
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    Hey, I feel for you OP...likewise I feel extremely lonely and don't think I have any friends. I'm extremely involved in activities and such but still haven't seemed to make any my entire life. Most of my life is mostly due to extremely misguided overprotection by parents, and I guess that lonely experience and lack of social confidence carried over into the next years of my life. I'm so depressed, I really don't know what to say to you. I have absolutely no one to confide in and I know complaining about it won't make a difference but frankly there's no easy fix or simple push of effort that can remedy our problem.

    The only thing to do is "get confident." But alas it's easier said than done and it's not overnight. Probably too late for me, but I hope you can try over time so maybe in the long run you'll make some real friends... i guess that's it...good luck mate
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    • Thread Starter
    #1

    Thanks for the replies everyone..Hannah, I'm going to pm you...

    I feel like a loser all the time, I know it's due to having zero social skills... I never have anything to talk about, I'm the most boring person ever, that's why I have no friends... I know I should be more confident. I sometimes feel like I've tried so hard to fit in all my life and I never succeeded. I can only blame it on myself I guess.
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    (Original post by jhukranti)
    Hey, I feel for you OP...likewise I feel extremely lonely and don't think I have any friends. I'm extremely involved in activities and such but still haven't seemed to make any my entire life. Most of my life is mostly due to extremely misguided overprotection by parents, and I guess that lonely experience and lack of social confidence carried over into the next years of my life. I'm so depressed, I really don't know what to say to you. I have absolutely no one to confide in and I know complaining about it won't make a difference but frankly there's no easy fix or simple push of effort that can remedy our problem.

    The only thing to do is "get confident." But alas it's easier said than done and it's not overnight. Probably too late for me, but I hope you can try over time so maybe in the long run you'll make some real friends... i guess that's it...good luck mate
    Sounds so much like my life.. The first paragraph you wrote could easily have been written by me.
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    Maybe there are certain things that drive people away. You sound like an intelligent person, so maybe you just need to let that side of you come across to people. As long as you're worrying and really caring about it, you'll clearly seem like the sort of person that is desperate to make friends (and that's not a very appealing personality). You need to learn to be happily independent and you must understand that you don't NEED friends and life is still amazing without them. You don't have to conform to the idea of having a group of friends that you'll be able to go out with all the time and spend most of your free time with. Once you begin to be more independent (and reasonably happy about that), whilst still making an effort to find friends, then you will most likely find that people will be drawn to you. Just think... would you necessarily want to be friends with somebody that is insecure about not having friends, or are your ideal friends the complete opposite?
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    (Original post by Respect4Acting)
    Something is more wrong with you.

    See what i just did there? I made a sentence without justifying what the hell i was talking about, like you did see it's easy
    1. I'll justify/add to my comments when I want to, how ever I want to.

    2. I did not leave you a negative rep, I don't do negative reps.

    3. Who are you to judge a person and how 'wrong' they are? Surely that judgemental inconsiderate tone on the mere pretext of someone not having friends is a sign of how much there is wrong with you.
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    (Original post by hannah21n)
    pamper parties
    *shudder* :p:
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    OP pm me if you need someone to talk to XD Im feeling the same way atm and would love a bit of company.
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    #3

    having friends is overated. if you think about it, in a few years you'll be leaving university and it will be goodbye to them. i doubt you'll keep up with being in their lives in the long term. if you're going to force yourself to have friends, well it's quality not quantity.
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    Smile
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    can pm me too if you want to. i could always do with the company too. that goes for anyone in a similar position.
    x
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    The point is you don't want to have friends who are with you just for the sake of it. If your flatmates sidelined you then it is because you were not likeminded, and in a way, it is better that way than having to reluctantly follow them just for the sake of having some company.

    Having said that, it is important that you make friends. Some of us are a bit more private than others (including me) and we don't necessarily feel the need to socialise in the way others do. So, in order to have friends whom you will enjoy being with, see if you have any kind of hobby you like doing and whether there is a society at uni where you can share those values / activities with others.

    One thing is sure: you won't find friends without making an effort, but there is no point forcing yourself onto people whom you won't enjoy being with anyway.

    Suggestions: a reading club maybe, or maybe try something new. I am not a sporty person but I tried learning fencing and made a few friends through this. Of course, they are not soulmates but people I enjoy seeing every Tuesday after the training session.
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    (Original post by jhukranti)
    Hey, I feel for you OP...likewise I feel extremely lonely and don't think I have any friends. I'm extremely involved in activities and such but still haven't seemed to make any my entire life. Most of my life is mostly due to extremely misguided overprotection by parents, and I guess that lonely experience and lack of social confidence carried over into the next years of my life. I'm so depressed, I really don't know what to say to you. I have absolutely no one to confide in and I know complaining about it won't make a difference but frankly there's no easy fix or simple push of effort that can remedy our problem.

    The only thing to do is "get confident." But alas it's easier said than done and it's not overnight. Probably too late for me, but I hope you can try over time so maybe in the long run you'll make some real friends... i guess that's it...good luck mate
    I can understand this a lot. To the OP, at least you are still at uni so are there some societies that interest you and you could join in with? This would be a great start at social ice breakers? Theatre perhaps? That is always a confidence booster.
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    (Original post by robocop1andahalf)
    I can understand this a lot. To the OP, at least you are still at uni so are there some societies that interest you and you could join in with? This would be a great start at social ice breakers? Theatre perhaps? That is always a confidence booster.
    until you get antagonized by a cut-throat audition group or fail to get a part lol !!
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    Make people laugh, and make people have fun when they're around you, they'll like you within seconds.
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    OP, what university are you at? It shouldn't help anyone identify you but it might help people come up with specific rather than general suggestions.

    If you ever want to talk PM me, I find it hard to make friends too and am quite shy.
 
 
 
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