Will sixth form be different? Watch

Anonymous #1
#1
Report Thread starter 9 years ago
#1
Well I finished Year 11 and I'm going to a sixth form but not my school's, it's another school's sixth form. I was really happy to get accepted there because it's really good but now I'm slightly worried.

During these 5 years in my secondary school I've had quite a few friends but none that I would really class as "close friends". They are simply "school friends" and the few that I think or thought were "close friends" usually turn out not to be. An example, and I know this will sound sad, would be that a lot of the times they don't even tell me about things that they're going to do like go out and maybe go to the cinema. We do have some fun times though but it seems like it's really rare.

However, now that I'm going to sixth form I'm happy but also really worried. I'm the sort of person that is only confident once they know people quite well - then it's really weird because I feel very confident but if I don't know the people well then I'll be really shy. I know it's easy to say just "be more confident" but it's obviously not that easy to do. I'm worried that I might never feel comfortable around the people at the sixth form and then I'll just not make any real friends.

I'm hoping this will be a change and I'll be able to make some close friends because we'd all be older and I'm hoping that will mean it'll be easier - is that true or is it only at uni that it's when you make great friends? Also, I'm worried that because it is a sixth form people will have known each other for ages and there will be like groups that will be hard to get into because they're already so established. I mean, in my school it probably took me 3 years to become quite confident as I got to know all the people in my year and then it was fine but the friendship circle I was in remained the same throughout more or less - I'm worried it'll be like that and I won't be able to fit in!
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ViolatedTreason
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#2
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use this as a chance to start a fresh, i know its not easy to make friends when you are shy, i am the same, but you just need to find common ground as soon as possible, and take it from there. i have still got great mates from year 7 at school.

at sixth form, we had someone who was exactly the same as you, a new kid, who had to break into the existing circles. he became one of the most popular people in the year, and he started off being pretty shy.

dont let people know that you are shy, just try to be more confident (i know you said don't say it)

sorry ic ant offer anymore advice, and i'm not even sure that any of what i have said will be of any use at all..
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Apfel
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It's what you make it.
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MewMachine
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Don't worry, I was in a similar situation to you this time last year- not that many close friends, going to another school's sixth form, worried about groups.

In short- talk to people. Anyone and everyone. I started off by making friends with people who were like me, had joined from other schools. Is there anything you can get involved with? I was in my college's play and made absolutely loads of friends from that in both years. I have great friends in my classes, particularly English. People just want to get out there and know new people. If people just stick to their groups and don't try and make new friends...well, their loss!
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rachhh :)
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Well I finished Year 11 and I'm going to a sixth form but not my school's, it's another school's sixth form. I was really happy to get accepted there because it's really good but now I'm slightly worried.

During these 5 years in my secondary school I've had quite a few friends but none that I would really class as "close friends". They are simply "school friends" and the few that I think or thought were "close friends" usually turn out not to be. An example, and I know this will sound sad, would be that a lot of the times they don't even tell me about things that they're going to do like go out and maybe go to the cinema. We do have some fun times though but it seems like it's really rare.

However, now that I'm going to sixth form I'm happy but also really worried. I'm the sort of person that is only confident once they know people quite well - then it's really weird because I feel very confident but if I don't know the people well then I'll be really shy. I know it's easy to say just "be more confident" but it's obviously not that easy to do. I'm worried that I might never feel comfortable around the people at the sixth form and then I'll just not make any real friends.

I'm hoping this will be a change and I'll be able to make some close friends because we'd all be older and I'm hoping that will mean it'll be easier - is that true or is it only at uni that it's when you make great friends? Also, I'm worried that because it is a sixth form people will have known each other for ages and there will be like groups that will be hard to get into because they're already so established. I mean, in my school it probably took me 3 years to become quite confident as I got to know all the people in my year and then it was fine but the friendship circle I was in remained the same throughout more or less - I'm worried it'll be like that and I won't be able to fit in!
speaking from experience, as long as you're confident enough to chat to people who start talking with you, it'll be pretty easy to make friends. if you know someone else who's going to the same sixth form as you, this makes it a bit easier because they can introduce you to their friends, but even if you dont it'll be okay as long as you're friendly
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u_dun_noe
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#6
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Don't worry about it - I was in the same shoes as you last year.

Just be humble when you enter year 12, try to get to know as many people as you can and be yourself!!
Honestly, You'll be fine!

And yeah, you'll find that people are more mature in year 12 compared to year 11, but only slightly :P
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Glutamic Acid
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#7
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Not out of necessity; it wasn't for me. I ghosted through the two years without forming slightest semblance of a decent friendship -- merely making acquaintances whom I'd converse with in class. I have regrets, I was introverted and non-communicative for insecure reasons; the demography of the school didn't help, with me coming from a school with few who went to this particular sixth form yet others from different schools still had their already-formed friendship groups which were hard for someone like me to penetrate. Cliquey in the extreme, but I cannot blame them. It's more a problem with me; I have serious issues connecting with people, but that's a separate issue.

Nonetheless, I'd advise you to "go for it", as the proletariats would say. Unless you're a natural conversationalist who can form friendships as well as England can lose test matches, you'll have a few awkward experiences, but it'll be worth it in the end. See, when I'm very nearly dead and poring over my life I'll see a cloudy omission around the ages of 16 and 17, because there'll be no memories; not even bad ones, and certainly no good ones. Don't lose two years of your life; it could make a larger proportion of your lifetime than you think.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by rachhh :))
speaking from experience, as long as you're confident enough to chat to people who start talking with you, it'll be pretty easy to make friends. if you know someone else who's going to the same sixth form as you, this makes it a bit easier because they can introduce you to their friends, but even if you dont it'll be okay as long as you're friendly
Well I think I'm definitely alright with talking to people if they initiate it but my problem is that I find it very hard to initiate the conversation due to me not knowing them at all and so my confidence will be really low. Sadly, I don't know anyone going there. Well, that's a lie because I sort of do (two of my ex's close friends) - it was good because they were sort of friends when I was with my ex but we broke up a few weeks ago and I doubt they'd really want to be that close now that I'm not with her (that was our sort of common ground I suppose you can call it).
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Anonymous #2
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i'll be honest .just finished first year of sixth form and it was no different to school. i'm you except worse. i don't talk to anyone really

but i'm a lot happier than i was at school. i used to get quite frustrated about it all back then. i think this was mainly because of the pressure i felt to be more like other teenagers and to do what they do. everyone else treated friends like a necessity. so i believed they were. this made me unhappy.
you should learn to like your own company. get interested in things which you can do alone. there's a surprising amount you could do, achieve and experience. let go of the belief that friends are really important.
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Kernel
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#10
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Nope
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Rich_183
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#11
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Kinda yay Kinda nay
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Elegant Elephant
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#12
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(Original post by Glutamic Acid)
Not out of necessity; it wasn't for me. I ghosted through the two years without forming slightest semblance of a decent friendship -- merely making acquaintances whom I'd converse with in class. I have regrets, I was introverted and non-communicative for insecure reasons; the demography of the school didn't help, with me coming from a school with few who went to this particular sixth form yet others from different schools still had their already-formed friendship groups which were hard for someone like me to penetrate. Cliquey in the extreme, but I cannot blame them. It's more a problem with me; I have serious issues connecting with people, but that's a separate issue.

Nonetheless, I'd advise you to "go for it", as the proletariats would say. Unless you're a natural conversationalist who can form friendships as well as England can lose test matches, you'll have a few awkward experiences, but it'll be worth it in the end. See, when I'm very nearly dead and poring over my life I'll see a cloudy omission around the ages of 16 and 17, because there'll be no memories; not even bad ones, and certainly no good ones. Don't lose two years of your life; it could make a larger proportion of your lifetime than you think.
I think this is the best piece of advice ever, and I can somewhat relate to it too.
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Anonymous #2
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sometimes i do worry that i've missed out on a life/set of experiences it seems that teenagers, at least where i live, are "meant" to have. this still makes me unhappy. i don't know if it matters in the grand scheme of things though.
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x_skater_jnoo_x
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(Original post by Anonymous)
sometimes i do worry that i've missed out on a life/set of experiences it seems that teenagers, at least where i live, are "meant" to have. this still makes me unhappy. i don't know if it matters in the grand scheme of things though.
mhm i'm in year 12 and i feel the same but somehow my friends manage to party enough lol
it's just about making sacrifices i guess...uni life is meant to be the best years of your life soo
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Anonymous #3
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(Original post by Anonymous)
During these 5 years in my secondary school I've had quite a few friends but none that I would really class as "close friends". They are simply "school friends" and the few that I think or thought were "close friends" usually turn out not to be. An example, and I know this will sound sad, would be that a lot of the times they don't even tell me about things that they're going to do like go out and maybe go to the cinema. We do have some fun times though but it seems like it's really rare.
I had some close friends, but they moved onto to partying and drinking and I didn't. My friends who didn't do that made close friends with people outside of school, which unitentionally alienated me as I didn't know them. So then like you I had friends but didn't really do anything out of school with them.
Anyway Sixth form began (My 6th form being attache to my school) and I made friends with the new people but again found it hard to make close friends with them. This issue was highlighted when for my 18th party only 1 person from school came along (I did have friends from outside school there).

Instead of just moping I made a bit more effort to do things with my friends. It wasn't easy as all my friends have really close small groups of 2 or 3, and I was made to feel like the outsider. I gave up on trying to stay friends with those who I was close friends with in the younger years and spent more time with those who I was now better friends with. Anyway I did manage to organise to do stuff out of school and I'm now thought of as part of the group. (But now I'm moving onto uni, so it'll be interesting to see if I stay friends with them)

Waffled a bit but basically it does feel horrible to be the outsider, but I'm sure your friends aren't doing it intentionally. Try and organise to do stuff, even though it is alot of effort, but its worth it in the end.
Also as your starting a new 6th form make sure you talk to people. One boy who started new didn't say anything for the first year, except when we were discussing maths! It was only in U6 that he actually made some proper friends, it would have been so much easier for him if he just talked to begin with.

Just act confident and you'll be fine!
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littleshambles
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(Original post by Glutamic Acid)
Not out of necessity; it wasn't for me. I ghosted through the two years without forming slightest semblance of a decent friendship -- merely making acquaintances whom I'd converse with in class. I have regrets, I was introverted and non-communicative for insecure reasons; the demography of the school didn't help, with me coming from a school with few who went to this particular sixth form yet others from different schools still had their already-formed friendship groups which were hard for someone like me to penetrate. Cliquey in the extreme, but I cannot blame them. It's more a problem with me; I have serious issues connecting with people, but that's a separate issue.

Nonetheless, I'd advise you to "go for it", as the proletariats would say. Unless you're a natural conversationalist who can form friendships as well as England can lose test matches, you'll have a few awkward experiences, but it'll be worth it in the end. See, when I'm very nearly dead and poring over my life I'll see a cloudy omission around the ages of 16 and 17, because there'll be no memories; not even bad ones, and certainly no good ones. Don't lose two years of your life; it could make a larger proportion of your lifetime than you think.
In a few years time I could have written this.
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lm_wfc
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#17
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alcohol helps confidence.

what subjects are you doing? they cant be that hard for the 1st week or 2, go drunk, that way, you'll appear confident to people, then after you've made friends and sobered up, they'll realise you're actually quite clever and not as slow as you appeared :ninja:
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Deyn_08
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#18
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No.
Just try and stick it out.
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sunshine101
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#19
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I'm not sure...
I left my school and then I went to college for a year, I didnt' know anybody but as I got into the year I got to know a fair few people which I could just talk to and have a laugh with. But then I went back to my schools 6th form I met a few people not many and even though I've been in classes with them, I guess it depends. If you go to college nearly everybody is in the same boat in that they don't know anybody, whereas at the 6th form people have already got friends from school.

Dont' let that put you off!
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nigel_s
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I think it's easier to make friends in 6th form, but you have to make the effort. In year 12, I ghosted, as Glutamic acid described above, but in year 13 I made the effort, trying to get to know people. Now I have a great bunch of friends. My only regret is not making the effort in year 12.
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