Please keep anon.
I'd been going out with this girl for just over 2 months, and we'd gone on a few dates prior to that, as you do. At first we weren't going to go out as I'm going to uni in September whilst she's still only 16 so is going to college here, but then things changed and we decided to, even though we knew we'd break up when I went to uni.
Everything was going fine, and we weren't a clingy couple who saw eachother every day - a couple of times a week maybe - first cos of exams, then more because of her wanting to / being able to see me that much rather than vice versa. We spoke a lot on the phone though and txt'd eachother a lot, so it didn't feel like there was any problem about us not seeing eachother as much as lots of couples.
We had sex for the first time on Monday (we were both virgins before that) - we both knew and wanted to do it for a while, though it wasn't planned that would be the day - and then she broke up with me 3 days later. I don't think it was directly because of the sex, nothing weird happened, and we'd nearly had sex before we started going out though "condom problems" meant we didn't, and she wasn't really sure as she wasn't sure if I'd just sleep with her and never see her again. She said she didn't regret having sex and it wasn't a drunken mistake or anything like that.
She said that it's because she's going away a lot in Summer (4 weeks in total before I go to uni - though I think she knew that all along) and because she thinks she'll get drunk and cheat on me in Newquay (going with her friends this week) and that wouldn't be fair - which I can't really comprehend - as she says she wants the freedom and to be able to get with other people (though she said she really doesn't want to sleep with people unless she's in a relationship with them).
She also said that she thought it was a bit strange that she felt I was more into her than she was into me, though a few weeks ago she felt that she was into me much more than I was into her - but we only glanced over that - the other's were what she made out to be her real reasons.
She said that she'd thought about breaking up before we slept together (we went away for the day/night) but forgot as she has such a good time with me, and that she still wants to see me (I'm not sure if its just as friends or as before just without the exclusivity, and I don't think she's sure either), and that she also wasn't sure if she was doing the right thing or not breaking up - but that nothings changed "feelings wise" about me.
Really, it just doesn't really make much sense to me. If she'd left it at the "going away a lot so its not worth it" I'd have understood it, but I'm still not sure why she'd sleep with me knowing she was going to break up soon after as I'd have thought it would bring us closer together.
Weird Breakup Watch
- Thread Starter
- 12-07-2009 00:57
- 12-07-2009 17:18
It sounds like she's frightened of commitment, maybe it's better that you break up now and not later.