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    Last November, i willingly consented to having sex with someone i barely knew at all. I told him i wasn't a virign but i really was. I know full well that i was going to get used by him, i knew he was a player but he was nice to me and i wanted to lose my virginity more than anything and i don't know why. Never been close to having sex apart from the time i actually did. But i've regretted it ever since and we've never spoken about it since then. Never even see him anymore.

    Just a rant
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    whats your number?
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    Learn from your mistakes?
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    Doesn't make you a whore, just makes you horny and a bit desperate, you just took it further than most would.

    Plenty of people do it in ways they regret, not that that'll be any comfort to you. Just make sure that when the next time comes along, you're doing it for the right reasons.
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    I just lacked so much self confidence. Never had a boyfriend or even come close to having one. Just he showed me some attention and i liked the attention. Back to normal now i guess.
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    Wait - he didn't pay you anything did he?
    Just because you've slept with one bloke doesn't make you a whore - you just wanted to try a new experience.
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    Don't worry about it

    One time doesn't make you a whore... it's not like if you get a serious bf he'll turn you out for this.

    Just forget about it.

    Don't let overhype about virginity make you feel guilty about something it caused (if that makes sense)
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I just lacked so much self confidence. Never had a boyfriend or even come close to having one. Just he showed me some attention and i liked the attention. Back to normal now i guess.

    Trust me, I know the feeling. I basically did the same and have regretted it a lot.

    [I didn't even get the attention side of things]

    Try not to let it get to you and have confidence in yourself for who you are, not who people think you are.
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    You're not a whore. Sure, you should've waited for a decent opportunity ie. a relationship, but these things happen. Learn from your mistake and you'll be fine.
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    meh you sound like a spotty teenage boy :mmm:
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    You really aren't a whore because of that. Seriously.

    Seriously, move on from it. You don't even need to tell future partners about that incident if you feel horrible about it. Move on. : ]
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    You had sex once and you're a whore? Don't think so! Many people who wanted to lose their V plates have thought like you!
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    You're not a whore because of that. Just move on from it and if you didn't like rushing into things as you did with this guy then learn from that and do things differently next time.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Last November, i willingly consented to having sex with someone i barely knew at all. I told him i wasn't a virign but i really was. I know full well that i was going to get used by him, i knew he was a player but he was nice to me and i wanted to lose my virginity more than anything and i don't know why. Never been close to having sex apart from the time i actually did. But i've regretted it ever since and we've never spoken about it since then. Never even see him anymore.

    Just a rant
    OP what you did was wrong there is no doubt about it however you have shown regret and that shows strength of character to recognise when we are in the wrong! So don't feel ashamed about that!

    You wanted to lose your virginity more than anything because -

    a) the media have a strong influence over people (I wont list everything the media does but some of the basics at the top of my head)
    - they perpetuate a lie that to be a virgin is to be undesirable (40y/0 virgin) - that is untrue. Also the media sexualise everything nowadays - you cannot escape sex, its made out to be something that it is not - unless part of a close loving relationship.
    b) you are a woman and it is only part of the natural order of things to desire sex because an inbred characteristic within us all is the desire to procreate!

    Now my advice to you would be:

    Don't make yourself so easy to men. Withhold sex until marriage is the best strategy - a lot of men are players. By withholding sex you get some power back and can work out which men are users and which men are genuine and are interested in you as a person!
    • #2
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Last November, i willingly consented to having sex with someone i barely knew at all. I told him i wasn't a virign but i really was. I know full well that i was going to get used by him, i knew he was a player but he was nice to me and i wanted to lose my virginity more than anything and i don't know why. Never been close to having sex apart from the time i actually did. But i've regretted it ever since and we've never spoken about it since then. Never even see him anymore.

    Just a rant
    May I have your number please? I don't care whether you're a boy or a girl.
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    (Original post by God of War)
    Don't make yourself so easy to men. Withhold sex until marriage is the best strategy - a lot of men are players. By withholding sex you get some power back and can work out which men are users and which men are genuine and are interested in you as a person!
    Definitely not the best strategy!

    And witholding sex to "get power back"? How would denying herself sex put her in any position of power over people?

    Just do whatever you want, OP. I don't think you've done anything to be ashamed of
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    (Original post by Spanghew)
    Definitely not the best strategy!

    And witholding sex to "get power back"? How would denying herself sex put her in any position of power over people?

    Just do whatever you want, OP. I don't think you've done anything to be ashamed of
    You have not explained why this strategy is poor? She gains power because she can use it as a method to sort through the men that just want to use her and those that are genuine. If a man genuinely loved her then he would wait until marriage to have sex! If not then he never loved her in the first place. How is giving herself to men who just want to use her for her body going to give her any power?
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    That doesn't make you a whore.

    It makes you someone who makes mistakes when they're desperate.

    AKA - a human.
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    did you get paid?

    no?

    then your not a whore, a whore is someone who has sex for money

    OP you had sex with one person get a bloody hold of yourself, stop over reacting and chill
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    (Original post by God of War)
    You have not explained why this strategy is poor? She gains power because she can use it as a method to sort through the men that just want to use her and those that are genuine. If a man genuinely loved her then he would wait until marriage to have sex! If not then he never loved her in the first place. How is giving herself to men who just want to use her for her body going to give her any power?
    Why would sleeping with people who don't love her make her "lose power"? Women are just as capable of having casual sex as men, you know. Not every woman is out there waiting for some "genuine" guy to come along and marry them; some just want to get laid, and there's nothing wrong with that.

    By the sounds of it, she was using this guy for his body just as much as she was "giving herself" to him.
 
 
 
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