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    I have a friend who until recently I considered to be a close friend. She has started telling lies about very serious things, which I don't know how to deal with.

    She is 19 years old.

    It started with her catching disease after disease. In the past 6-8months she has apparently been diagnosed with kidney problems, stomach problems, manic depression, spinal disc problems, asthma as well as a host of other things.

    She apparently has both anorexia and bulimia, and she self harms. (Though whenever me or any of my friends have been around her, she eats normally, and she has one or 2 'scratches' on her forearms which she likes to show off as often as possible.)

    She has cried rape twice now, with men that she knows. She has told all her friends about it, but not the police or anything so nothing has been done. She likes to bring up the rape quite often so that people know about it, though when questioned about it, she says she doesn't wish to talk about it.

    She often threatens suicide to get everyone to go to her rescue. She likes to phone me up in the middle of the night because she is feeling down, but refuses to see a doctor.

    About a month ago, she found out she was pregnant. She was due to go to uni in september, but has had to drop out because of the pregnancy. She says it was unwanted, but she has been having unsafe sex for god knows how long now, so she was asking for it. She wants our "support" throughout the pregnancy (ie, we drop everything we're doing to attend to her every beck and call) since she is single and it was an 'unwanted child'.

    What do I do with her? Should I confront her about everything? Or let her continue to lie and just ignore it all? Or get her to talk to a professional? Help
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    Ask her mum, when her mum says she's never had these diseases ask what the **** is she doing.
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    Also sorry about the long post, it didn't seem that long when I was typing it!
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    Oh dear :lolwut:
    I think she needs to see a psychiatrist
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    Believe it or not I know someone who is exactly like her minus the pregnancy. She may have a personality disorder. The person I know is also very hypersensitive and tends to only see people and situations as good or evil ( trademarks of borderline PD). If you can get her to seek help great, but it's unlikely
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    Sounds like a serious attention-seeker.

    She might not be "crying rape" though - a lot of victims don't like going to the police. Also some anorexics are very good at hiding how little they eat, that's what they do.
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    She seems insecure, very attention seeking behaviour. Stop giving her the attention she seeks.
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    There are so many things wrong with her, I don't even know where to start.

    Serious intervention time. Do whatever you can to get her to a shrink.

    I'm not sure if I'd confront her directly about it though... she'll probably take it the wrong way and might just make things worse. Talk to her parents?
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    Well, it depends on how much you really care. You could support, drop everything for her, listen to all her problems or you could just not answer her calls and leave her to it.


    If she doesn't want a kid has she thought about having a termination? She doesn't sound like she would be a particularly good mum.

    It's up to you to decide if she is worth the hassle. She might be genuinely in need of help but at the end of the day these are her problems and you are not her mother. So don't guilt yourself into being her friend.
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    Some great responses, thanks guys =)

    (Original post by assmaster)
    Sounds like a serious attention-seeker.
    She might not be "crying rape" though - a lot of victims don't like going to the police. Also some anorexics are very good at hiding how little they eat, that's what they do.
    One of the rapes could possibly be real, I don't have any way of determining if she is lying about it. But the 2nd one, I know for a fact she was at a family gathering that night, yet she told her friends she was at a 'crazy drunken rave' that night that ended with the rape.

    (Original post by imhiya)
    She seems insecure, very attention seeking behaviour. Stop giving her the attention she seeks.
    How do I go about doing this? When she asks to speak privately about something, and tell me she's been sexually abused again or something, how do I respond to that?

    (Original post by icn06)
    Believe it or not I know someone who is exactly like her minus the pregnancy. She may have a personality disorder. The person I know is also very hypersensitive and tends to only see people and situations as good or evil ( trademarks of borderline PD). If you can get her to seek help great, but it's unlikely
    The person that you know, is she in treatment currently? Or has she been to see doctors/psychiatrists about it? I don't know how I could ask her to seek help without also telling her that I know she's been lying about everything thus far...
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    Tell her to piss off and look after her own life?
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    (Original post by patrickthestarfish)


    The person that you know, is she in treatment currently? Or has she been to see doctors/psychiatrists about it? I don't know how I could ask her to seek help without also telling her that I know she's been lying about everything thus far...
    She is constantly in and out of the hospital for her various physical complaints (panic attacks, trouble breathing, fainting spells, food poisoning, you name it). As far as I can tell she goes to different doctors and therapists and only tells them part of her story...thereby making any kind of actual diagnosis really difficult.

    IMO there isn't really any nice way to go about mentioning it to her. Just be honest, try not to make it sound harsh. If she doesn't get help then she really isn't worth keeping as a friend is she?
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    (Original post by icn06)
    She is constantly in and out of the hospital for her various physical complaints (panic attacks, trouble breathing, fainting spells, food poisoning, you name it). As far as I can tell she goes to different doctors and therapists and only tells them part of her story...thereby making any kind of actual diagnosis really difficult.

    IMO there isn't really any nice way to go about mentioning it to her. Just be honest, try not to make it sound harsh. If she doesn't get help then she really isn't worth keeping as a friend is she?
    That sounds awfully like my friend, consulting different doctors with different specialties to hear what she wants to hear. She's on so many types of pills I've lost count (which must be dangerous in some way im sure =S)

    That's very true, if she's going to continue lying for the rest of our friendship, then now is the time to act on it or get out. I think I will have a word with her and see if I can somehow get the truth out.

    I have no idea how to go about it though... Anyone have any suggestions? Should I show her I'm on her side, or ask her straight up what the heck is going on with her? I don't know =(
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    Shoot her.

    Tis the only way.
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    (Original post by Dark Horse of the Race)
    Shoot her.

    Tis the only way.
    Ah, problem solved. Thanks for the input :top:
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    (Original post by patrickthestarfish)
    Ah, problem solved. Thanks for the input :top:
    No problem dude.
    If ya ever need anymore advice, dont hesitate :top:
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    She is only trying to seek more attention around her besides yours.
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    (Original post by patrickthestarfish)
    That sounds awfully like my friend, consulting different doctors with different specialties to hear what she wants to hear. She's on so many types of pills I've lost count (which must be dangerous in some way im sure =S)

    That's very true, if she's going to continue lying for the rest of our friendship, then now is the time to act on it or get out. I think I will have a word with her and see if I can somehow get the truth out.

    I have no idea how to go about it though... Anyone have any suggestions? Should I show her I'm on her side, or ask her straight up what the heck is going on with her? I don't know =(
    If you step back from the situation and look at how she lied about rape, it should make you lose any sense of pity for her. Personally, that was when it crossed the line for me. She absolutely ruined a guys reputation at his Uni just because he was dumb enough to sleep with her. At the end of the day, attention and sympathy is more important to her than the relationships she has with friends and family.
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    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Munchausen_syndrome
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    (Original post by icn06)
    If you step back from the situation and look at how she lied about rape, it should make you lose any sense of pity for her. Personally, that was when it crossed the line for me. She absolutely ruined a guys reputation at his Uni just because he was dumb enough to sleep with her. At the end of the day, attention and sympathy is more important to her than the relationships she has with friends and family.
    That is a good point actually. A very good point. I'll keep that in the back of my mind when I'm talking to her about it, since I tend to get cold feet and back out of confrontation situations. That should keep me on the right track, the realisation that her priorities are all wrong and that the attention she gets means more to her than we do.
    Thank you very much for your help by the way, you've really made me see sense about this
 
 
 
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