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i've lost my best friend because he confessed his feelings :( watch

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    ugh anon or delete please

    i met this guy in the first couple of weeks at uni and we clicked instantly. we had a big group of mutual friends that we spent all our time with but we were always very close. people noticed it and there was much gossiping about us liking eachother and being together (though nothing ever happened). i have a boyfriend that i love to bits and i have never thought of this guy as anything other than a friend or a kind of brother. when i found out that our friends were thinking like this i decided to back off because i didn't want to give anyone the wrong impression.

    my friend noticed me backing off and in what seemed to be a now or never kind of action, confessed that he loved me. he said he'd liked me since the moment he met me and had fell hard for me over the past few months. he didn't seem to think i felt the same way but said he just needed to tell me. i told him as gently as i could that i was in love with my boyfriend but i still wanted to be good friends with him.

    he seemed to accept this and we carried on as friends for a while, though admittedly not as close as before which was understandable. but since we went home for the summer (he only lives a 30 min drive away from me) he's hardly contacted me at all. He gives short replies to texts whenever i've sent him a chatty hey how are you text (which has only been about three times). He generally seems uninterested in talking to me or spending time with me anymore. I've seen him once since we left uni and that was only because it was a mutual friend's birthday. I don't understand what i've done wrong i thought we were getting back on track but now he's virtually ignoring me. my boyfriend thinks maybe he's taking the summer as a time to get over me because at uni we saw eachother every day because of our friends and where we lived. but i thought he got over it already because he's slept with so many girls recently, i thought he'd forgotten about me anyway. Can anyone explain this to me?
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    He fancied you = you rejected him

    what more do you expect from this guy?
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    Question is are you falling for him?
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    Rejection is hard. He's probably not doing anything to intentionally hurt you. Just probably taking some time out to get over you, or even making an effort with other girls. Just give him space.
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    yh, give him time to get over you and maybe approach him properly again once he's back on his feet completely
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    Hes moving on, to make it easier for both of you.
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    Stop contacting him.
    • #2
    #2

    Leave him alone, he knows where you are when he's ready.

    Just out of interest.. if you didn't have a boyfriend (who clearly you love) could you have loved this guy equally as much in time? Did you weigh the two up against one another, or was it an easy 'no' decision?
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    (Original post by Bubbles*de*Milo)
    Stop contacting him.
    or maybe contact him once more saying i realise what your doing and i understand and il be there when youve sorted yourself out
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    it aint easy when a guy finds out hes rejected, give him time. Maybe you could be friends later on, but honestly the relationship will be different. As he will find it hard to have the same kind of convos as before, hope this helps
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    Just because he's "slept with so many girls recently" doesn't mean he's over you!
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Leave him alone, he knows where you are when he's ready.

    Just out of interest.. if you didn't have a boyfriend (who clearly you love) could you have loved this guy equally as much in time? Did you weigh the two up against one another, or was it an easy 'no' decision?

    Anon = possible guy that got rejected

    Just my opinion


    Other than that OP like everyone said he needs his space, it seems that he really liked you, and hell if you were spending all your time together it's going to take some time for him to get over you. Just because he slept with alot of girls recently doesn't mean anything in fact it can make it worse.
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    Rejection is a hard thing and love is a strong thing. Therefore, being rejected by someone you're in love with sucks extra hard, and is a lot more difficult to get over.

    So this is pretty much what I'd expect of him. He's trying to get over it.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    ugh anon or delete please

    i met this guy in the first couple of weeks at uni and we clicked instantly. we had a big group of mutual friends that we spent all our time with but we were always very close. people noticed it and there was much gossiping about us liking eachother and being together (though nothing ever happened). i have a boyfriend that i love to bits and i have never thought of this guy as anything other than a friend or a kind of brother. when i found out that our friends were thinking like this i decided to back off because i didn't want to give anyone the wrong impression.

    my friend noticed me backing off and in what seemed to be a now or never kind of action, confessed that he loved me. he said he'd liked me since the moment he met me and had fell hard for me over the past few months. he didn't seem to think i felt the same way but said he just needed to tell me. i told him as gently as i could that i was in love with my boyfriend but i still wanted to be good friends with him.

    he seemed to accept this and we carried on as friends for a while, though admittedly not as close as before which was understandable. but since we went home for the summer (he only lives a 30 min drive away from me) he's hardly contacted me at all. He gives short replies to texts whenever i've sent him a chatty hey how are you text (which has only been about three times). He generally seems uninterested in talking to me or spending time with me anymore. I've seen him once since we left uni and that was only because it was a mutual friend's birthday. I don't understand what i've done wrong i thought we were getting back on track but now he's virtually ignoring me. my boyfriend thinks maybe he's taking the summer as a time to get over me because at uni we saw eachother every day because of our friends and where we lived. but i thought he got over it already because he's slept with so many girls recently, i thought he'd forgotten about me anyway. Can anyone explain this to me?
    He's trying to get over you. While you're understandably aggrieved by this development, pestering him will only foment ill-will and jeopardise the likelihood of a reconciliation: leave him be.
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    Exact same thing happened to me, where I was your friend. Just give him some space for a bit and eventually he should accept that you two will just be friends and he may be a bit more comfortable again. You'll just have to give it time though; don't push him or anything like that.
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    (Original post by silverbolt)
    or maybe contact him once more saying i realise what your doing and i understand and il be there when youve sorted yourself out
    I think that would make it harder tbh.
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    He isn't over you. I'd leave him alone for a while, hanging with you would just be all that more painful to him. It's like having the thing you want most in the world right next to you, knowing you can never have it. Oh and him sleeping with loads of other girls probably is because he isn't over it.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    ugh anon or delete please

    i met this guy in the first couple of weeks at uni and we clicked instantly. we had a big group of mutual friends that we spent all our time with but we were always very close. people noticed it and there was much gossiping about us liking eachother and being together (though nothing ever happened). i have a boyfriend that i love to bits and i have never thought of this guy as anything other than a friend or a kind of brother. when i found out that our friends were thinking like this i decided to back off because i didn't want to give anyone the wrong impression.

    my friend noticed me backing off and in what seemed to be a now or never kind of action, confessed that he loved me. he said he'd liked me since the moment he met me and had fell hard for me over the past few months. he didn't seem to think i felt the same way but said he just needed to tell me. i told him as gently as i could that i was in love with my boyfriend but i still wanted to be good friends with him.

    he seemed to accept this and we carried on as friends for a while, though admittedly not as close as before which was understandable. but since we went home for the summer (he only lives a 30 min drive away from me) he's hardly contacted me at all. He gives short replies to texts whenever i've sent him a chatty hey how are you text (which has only been about three times). He generally seems uninterested in talking to me or spending time with me anymore. I've seen him once since we left uni and that was only because it was a mutual friend's birthday. I don't understand what i've done wrong i thought we were getting back on track but now he's virtually ignoring me. my boyfriend thinks maybe he's taking the summer as a time to get over me because at uni we saw eachother every day because of our friends and where we lived. but i thought he got over it already because he's slept with so many girls recently, i thought he'd forgotten about me anyway. Can anyone explain this to me?
    rebound, def. just hooking up to forget you ... and just give him time and wait til uni starts again, because he most def cant get over you seeing you all the time ...
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    ugh anon or delete please

    i met this guy in the first couple of weeks at uni and we clicked instantly. we had a big group of mutual friends that we spent all our time with but we were always very close. people noticed it and there was much gossiping about us liking eachother and being together (though nothing ever happened). i have a boyfriend that i love to bits and i have never thought of this guy as anything other than a friend or a kind of brother. when i found out that our friends were thinking like this i decided to back off because i didn't want to give anyone the wrong impression.

    my friend noticed me backing off and in what seemed to be a now or never kind of action, confessed that he loved me. he said he'd liked me since the moment he met me and had fell hard for me over the past few months. he didn't seem to think i felt the same way but said he just needed to tell me. i told him as gently as i could that i was in love with my boyfriend but i still wanted to be good friends with him.

    he seemed to accept this and we carried on as friends for a while, though admittedly not as close as before which was understandable. but since we went home for the summer (he only lives a 30 min drive away from me) he's hardly contacted me at all. He gives short replies to texts whenever i've sent him a chatty hey how are you text (which has only been about three times). He generally seems uninterested in talking to me or spending time with me anymore. I've seen him once since we left uni and that was only because it was a mutual friend's birthday. I don't understand what i've done wrong i thought we were getting back on track but now he's virtually ignoring me. my boyfriend thinks maybe he's taking the summer as a time to get over me because at uni we saw eachother every day because of our friends and where we lived. but i thought he got over it already because he's slept with so many girls recently, i thought he'd forgotten about me anyway. Can anyone explain this to me?
    You haven't done anything wrong but someone who loves or has feelings for someone else can't just switch them off. Give him some time to get over this situation, just leave him alone. Maybe, if your lucky, he'll be happy to continuing being friends when you return to uni. This is just how it is sometimes, he can't help it and you can't help it. Just give him some space.
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    (Original post by Nutta!)
    He fancied you = you rejected him

    what more do you expect from this guy?
    I'm still friends with two of the girls who rejected me. Granted, I needed a bit of time not to talk to them for a while, btu I still talk to them sometimes now. We don't talk as much as we used to because now we've all gone our seperate ways.
 
 
 
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